The Perks of Being a Wallflower Wiki
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FADE IN:
 
  +
1 EXT. TUNNEL - NIGHT 1
 
  +
I am writing to you
The titles begin over black. We hear the sound of an old
 
  +
because she said you listen and understand.
Typewriter. Someone reaching out to us. The bell dings,
 
  +
And didn't try to sleep
Announcing the end of a line, and we see our title...
 
  +
with that person at that party...
THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER
 
  +
even though you could have.
Music begins, picture fades up, and we are in the city.
 
  +
Please, don't try to figure out who I am.
Downtown Pittsburgh. Looking out of the back window like a
 
  +
I don't want you to do that.
Child in the back of a station wagon.
 
  +
I just need to know that
We see lights on buildings and everything that makes us
 
  +
people like you exist.
Wonder. We see the bridge. And the river below. And then
 
  +
Like, if you met me you wouldn't...
We enter...
 
  +
think I was the weird kid
The Tunnel.
 
  +
who spent time in the hospital.
We keep moving backwards, watching the lights. Golden,
 
  +
And I wouldn't make you nervous.
Alive, and hypnotic. The music carries us as we float out of
 
  +
I hope it's okay for me to think that.
The tunnel. Onto another bridge. And over the highway.
 
  +
You see, I haven't really
We move into the night sky, back through the trees, through a
 
Window, and into...
+
talked to anyone...
  +
outside of my family all summer.
2 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 2
 
  +
But tomorrow is my first day
It is a neat and tidy little room. Few posters or books.
 
  +
of high school ever.
CHARLIE is 15. He is innocent, hopeful, awkward, and likable
 
  +
And I need to turn things around.
to everyone but his classmates. He sits at his desk, writing
 
  +
So I have a plan.
a letter in pencil as he tapes the title song through the
 
  +
As I enter the school for the first time...
radio on his cassette boom box.
 
  +
I will visualize what it will be like...
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
on the last day of my senior year.
Dear Friend, I am writing to you because
 
  +
Unfortunately, I counted and that's...
she said you listen and understand and
 
  +
Hop, freshman toads! Hop! Let's move it!
didn't try to sleep with that person at
 
  +
We worked out all summer. Rock hard.
that party even though you could have.
 
  +
Hey, you know what?
Please don't try to figure out who she is
 
because then you might figure out who I
+
Why don't you guys get a room?
  +
Just 1,385 days.
am, and I don't want you to do that. I
 
  +
In the meantime, I'd hoped that my sister,
just need to know that people like you
 
  +
Candace, and her boyfriend, Derek...
exist. Like if you met me, you wouldn't
 
  +
would have let me eat lunch
think I was the weird kid who spent time
 
  +
with their Earth Club.
in the hospital. And I wouldn't make you
 
  +
Seniors only.BITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHH
nervous.
 
  +
What are you doing with that plastic spork?
3 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER 3
 
  +
I don't wanna bring back silverware.
Charlie anxiously walks through the hallway of his suburban
 
  +
Derek, you're Earth Club treasurer.
split level house.
 
  +
Come on!
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
When my sister said "No," I thought...
I hope it's okay for me to think that.
 
  +
maybe my old friend Susan
You see, I haven't really talked to
 
  +
would wanna have lunch with me.
anyone outside of my family all summer.
 
  +
In middle school,
Charlie moves to the living room where dad watches a football
 
  +
Susan was very fun to be around...
game. Mom reads a page turner and sips her white wine.
 
  +
but now she doesn't
Charlie waits for them to notice him. And waits. And waits.
 
  +
like to say "Hi" to me anymore.
4 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 4
 
  +
And then there's Brad Hays.
Charlie sits at his desk, continuing his letter in pencil.
 
  +
Before my older brother
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
went to play football for Penn State...
But tomorrow is my first day of high
 
  +
he and Brad played together...
school ever, and I really need to turn
 
  +
so I thought maybe he'd say "Hi" to me.
things around this year.
 
  +
But Brad's a senior.
(hopeful)
 
  +
And I'm me. So who am I kidding?
So, I have a plan.
 
  +
On the bright side...
5 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LAST DAY 5
 
  +
one senior decided to make fun of the
We see it in Charlie's mind. Slow motion and wondrous. The
 
  +
teacher instead of the freshmen.
kids clear out their lockers by throwing their old papers in
 
  +
He even drew on Mr. Callahan's
the air like a New York confetti parade.
 
  +
legendary goatee...
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
with a grease pencil.
As I enter the school for the first time,
 
  +
The prick punch is not a toy.
I will visualize what it will be like on
 
  +
I learned that back in 'Nam in '68.
the last day of my senior year.
 
  +
"Callahan," sergeant said...
Charlie walks down the hall. Triumphant. Confident. Happy.
 
  +
"you put down that prick punch.
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
  +
You go kill some gooks."
Unfortunately, I counted, and that's...
 
  +
And you know what happened?
SMASH CUT TO:
 
  +
That prick punch killed my best friend
6 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - FIRST DAY 6
 
  +
in a Saigon whorehouse.
Reality. The bell rings, and we see the chaotic maze from
 
  +
I heard you were gonna be in my class.
Charlie’s POV. A SENIOR BULLY leads the ritual, making
 
  +
Are you proud to be a senior...
dozens of freshmen hop down the hall.
 
  +
having to take freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
SENIOR BULLY
 
  +
Look, my name is Patrick.
Hop, freshman toads. Hop! Move it, boys!
 
  +
Either you call me Patrick
As seniors grab more victims, Charlie moves to the wall.
 
  +
or you call me nothing.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Okay, Nothing.
... 1,385 days from now.
 
  +
I felt really bad for Patrick.
VARSITY FOOTBALL PLAYERS pass, wearing their letter jackets.
 
  +
He wasn't doing the impersonation
2.
 
  +
to be mean or anything.
LINEBACKER
 
  +
He was just trying
Man, you got big.
 
  +
to make us freshmen feel better.
NOSE TACKLE
 
  +
Nothing, why don't you read first?
Worked out all summer. Rock hard, dude.
 
  +
All right. "Chapter One."
At the front of the pack is BRAD HAYS (17), the quarterback.
 
  +
Surviving your fascist shop teacher...
He's good looking, charismatic, and friendly. The big man on
 
  +
"who needs to put kids down to feel big."
campus. Nice guy, too.
 
  +
this is useful, guys. We should read on.
BRAD HAYS
 
  +
My last class of the day
Would you guys get a room?
 
  +
is Advanced English...
They laugh. Charlie turns to the trophy case to avoid them.
 
  +
and I'm really excited to finally learn...
Trying to make himself as small as possible.
 
  +
with the smartest kids in the school.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Nice Trapper Keeper, faggot.
(trying to be optimistic)
 
  +
Believe it or not, she's gotten
Just 1,385 days.
 
  +
straight A's since kindergarten.
7 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - LUNCH 7
 
  +
I'm Mr. Anderson.
Charlie moves down the lunch line with his sister. CANDACE
 
  +
I'm gonna be your teacher
KELMECKIS is 17 and a beautiful type A, straight A priss.
 
  +
for freshman English.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
This semester we're gonna learn about...
In the meantime, I'd hoped that my sister
 
  +
Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird.
Candace and her boyfriend Derek would
 
  +
Genius book.
have let me eat lunch with their earth
 
  +
Now, who'd like to get out
club.
 
  +
of the first pop quiz?
CANDACE
 
  +
I'm shocked. All right.
Seniors only.
 
  +
Well, you can skip the quiz...
(barks to Derek)
 
  +
if you tell me which author
What are you doing with a plastic spork?
 
  +
invented the paperback book.
Candace turns to her boyfriend, DEREK, 17. Derek is such a
 
  +
Anyone?
pussy, the most masculine thing about him is his pony-tail.
 
  +
He was British.
DEREK
 
  +
He also invented the serial.
I don't want to bring back silverware--
 
  +
In fact, at the end of
CANDACE
 
  +
the third chapter of his first novel...
Derek, you're Earth Club Treasurer.
 
  +
he had a man hanging from
Derek takes the silverware like a beaten dog. Charlie
 
  +
a cliff by his fingernails.
watches them move into the intimidating cafeteria.
 
  +
Hence the term "cliff hanger."
8 INT. CAFETERIA - LATER 8
 
  +
Anybody?
Charlie sits in the corner alone, observing everyone having a
 
  +
- Yeah?
great time with their friends. He sees a pretty girl with
 
  +
- Shakespeare.
blonde hair having the best first day. This is SUSAN, 14.
 
  +
That's a great guess, but no.
3.
 
  +
Shakespeare didn't write novels.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Anybody else?
When my sister said no, I thought maybe
 
  +
The author...
my old friend Susan would want to have
 
  +
was Charles Dickens.
lunch with me.
 
  +
However, if you and I had
Charlie catches her eye and waves, but she looks away.
 
  +
gone to a Shakespeare play...
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
  +
it would have cost us four pennies.
In middle school, Susan was very fun to
 
  +
Can you imagine that?
be around, but now she doesn't like to
 
  +
We would have put those
say hi to me anymore.
 
  +
pennies in a metal box.
Charlie turns his attention to the quarterback, Brad Hays.
 
  +
The ushers would lock it in the office.
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
And then there's Brad Hays, who's the
+
And that's where we get the term...
  +
Cash register.
quarterback of our team. Before my
 
  +
Office Max.
brother went to play football for Penn
 
  +
I'll give you a free "A" on anything...
State, he and Brad played together. So,
 
  +
except the final term
I thought maybe he'd say hi to me. But
 
  +
paper if you get it right.
Brad's a senior, and I'm me, so... who am
 
  +
Box office.
I kidding?
 
  +
You should learn to participate.
Brad catches Charlie staring at him. Awkward.
 
  +
Why didn't you raise your hand?
9 INT. SHOP CLASS - DAY 9
 
  +
They call you the "teacher's pet"?
Charlie sits by himself, watching the freshmen boys laugh as
 
  +
"Freak"? That kinda thing?
a senior paints a goatee on his face with a grease pencil.
 
  +
I used to get "spaz."
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
I mean, come on, "spaz"?
On the bright side, one senior decided to
 
  +
You know, I heard
make fun of the teacher instead of the
 
  +
you had a tough time last year.
freshmen. He even drew on Mr. Callahan's
 
  +
But they say if you make one friend...
legendary goatee with a grease pencil.
 
  +
on your first day, you're doing okay.
Meet PATRICK (18), full of confidence, mischief, and so over
 
  +
Thank you, sir, but if
high school. He is the class clown, performing a perfect
 
imitation of the teacher, Mr. Callahan.
+
my English teacher...
  +
is the only friend I make today...
PATRICK
 
  +
that would be sort of depressing.
Boys, the prick punch is not a toy. I
 
  +
Yeah, I can see that.
learned that in 'Nam back in '68.
 
  +
Don't worry, Mr. Anderson, I'm okay.
"Callahan," the sergeant said, "put down
 
  +
Thanks.
that prick punch and go kill some gooks."
 
  +
I would happily not take shop...
The laughter suddenly dies as the real MR. CALLAHAN (57)
 
  +
Hey, freshman toad.
walks up behind the oblivious Patrick.
 
  +
Well, I have 1,384 days to go.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
Just so I say it to someone...
But you know what happened? That prick
 
  +
high school is even worse
punch killed my best friend in a Saigon
 
  +
than middle school.
whorehouse.
 
  +
If my parents ask me about it...
4.
 
  +
I probably won't tell them the truth...
Patrick suddenly feels Mr. Callahan behind him. Oops.
 
  +
because I don't want them...
MR. CALLAHAN
 
  +
to worry that I might get bad again.
I heard you were going to be in my class.
 
  +
If my Aunt Helen were still here,
Are you proud being a senior taking
 
  +
I could talk to her...
freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
 
  +
and I know she would understand...
PATRICK
 
  +
how I'm both happy and sad.
My name is Patrick. You call me Patrick
 
  +
And I'm still trying
or you call me nothing.
 
  +
to figure out how that could be.
MR. CALLAHAN
 
  +
I just hope I make a friend soon.
Okay... Nothing.
 
  +
Love always, Charlie.
The class laughs. Except Charlie. He watches Patrick take
 
  +
Charlie? Come on.
the long walk back to his seat.
 
  +
This chicken paprikash is delicious.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Thank you, Derek. It's Charlie's favorite.
I felt really bad for Patrick. He wasn't
 
  +
He was a little nervous about starting high
saying the impersonation to be mean or
 
  +
school today, so I made it for him.
anything. He was just trying to make us
 
  +
Feel a little silly
freshmen feel better.
 
  +
about being nervous now, Champ?
MR. CALLAHAN
 
  +
Yes, sir. I sure do.
Everyone open your safety guides.
 
  +
I told you, just give 'em a smile...
Nothing... why don't you read first?
 
  +
and be yourself.
Patrick opens the book.
 
  +
- That's how you...
PATRICK
 
  +
- Make friends in the real world.
Chapter 1. Surviving your fascist shop
 
  +
You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
teacher, who needs to put kids down to
 
  +
Freshman year is tough, but...
feel big.
 
  +
you really find yourself.
(to the class)
 
  +
Thanks, Derek.
Oh, wow. This is useful guys. We should
 
  +
You could have been a
read on.
 
  +
little nicer to Derek.
Charlie smiles. He loves him already.
 
  +
I'm sorry, the kid's a pussy.
10 INT. ENGLISH CLASS - MORNING 10
 
  +
I can't stand him.
The kids pass back paperback copies of To Kill A Mockingbird.
 
  +
- I really hope you love the mix tape I made.
Charlie opens his Trapper Keeper, takes a pencil out of the
 
  +
- I do.
plastic pouch, and writes... “ENGLISH CLASS... DAY ONE.”
 
  +
- The cover is hand-painted.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
- Oh, wow.
My last class of the day is advanced
 
  +
Hey, Charlie, you want this?
English, and I'm excited to finally start
 
  +
Are you sure?
learning with the smartest kids in the
 
  +
He gives me one every week.
school...
 
  +
Hey, babe.
A SMART ASS FRESHMAN girl with braces smiles at him.
 
  +
This next one might be a little sad,
5.
 
  +
but it reminded me of your eyes.
SMART ASS FRESHMAN
 
  +
Sing me to sleep
(whispers)
 
  +
I'm tired and I
Nice Trapper Keeper, faggot.
 
  +
I want to go to bed
The kids around him laugh. Charlie's ears turn red. At the
 
  +
Sing me to sleep
blackboard, the teacher writes his name... Mr. Anderson. But
 
  +
Did you already do the term paper on
you can call him BILL (27). Bill is an idealist.
 
  +
To Kill a Mockingbird?
BILL
 
  +
No.
Shhh. I'm Mr. Anderson. And thanks to
 
  +
Get him.
Teach for America, I'm going to be your
 
  +
Don't try to wake me
teacher for freshman English. This
 
  +
in the morning
semester, we're going to be learning
 
  +
'Cause I will be gone
Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird.
 
  +
Don't feel bad for me
Genius book. Now, who wants to get out
 
  +
I want you to know
of the first pop quiz?
 
  +
Deep in the cell of my heart
All hands go up. Except Charlie's. Bill paces the rows.
 
  +
I will feel so glad to go
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
Let's go, Devils!
I'm shocked. Alright. You can skip the
 
  +
Right. Come on, offense!
quiz if you tell me which author invented
 
  +
- Hey, Nothing.
the paperback book. Anyone?
 
  +
- Hey, Nothing.
As kids think, Bill confiscates contraband, removes hats.
 
  +
Oh, suck it, virginity pledges.
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
Suck it.
He’s British. He also invented the
 
  +
Oh, you're in trouble now, Jaguars!
serial. In fact, at the end of chapter 3
 
  +
Hey, Patrick.
of his first novel, he had a man hanging
 
  +
Hey. You're in my shop class, right?
off a cliff by his fingernails. Hence,
 
  +
How's your clock coming?
the term cliffhanger. Anybody?
 
  +
My dad's building it for me.
FRESHMAN GIRL
 
  +
Yeah. Mine looks like a boat.
Shakespeare.
 
  +
You wanna sit over here
BILL
 
  +
or are you waiting for your friends?
That's a great guess, but no, Shakespeare
 
  +
No, no, no, I'll sit.
didn’t write novels. Anybody else?
 
  +
Thanks for not calling
(off their silence)
 
  +
me Nothing by the way.
The author was...
 
  +
It's an endless nightmare.
Bill is about to give the answer when he notices Charlie has
 
  +
And these assholes,
already written... Charles Dickens.
 
  +
they actually think they're being original.
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
So do you like football?
... Charles Dickens. However, if you and
 
  +
Love it. Love football.
I had gone to a play in Shakespeare's
 
  +
Maybe you know my brother then.
time, it would have cost 4 pennies. Can
 
  +
Hey, Sam.
you imagine that? We would have put
 
  +
Question. Could the bathrooms
those pennies in a metal box, which the
 
  +
here be more disgusting?
ushers would lock in the office. And
 
  +
Yes. They call it the men's room.
that's where we get the term... anyone?
 
  +
Oh. So I finally got hold of Bob.
6.
 
  +
Party tonight?
KIDS (O.S.)
 
  +
He's still trying to shag
"Office Depot!" "Office Supplies!"
 
  +
that waitress from the Olive Garden.
Charlie writes down Box Office, then looks up to find that
 
  +
He's never tossing that salad.
Bill is staring at him. Waiting for him to raise his hand.
 
  +
Come on!
BILL
 
  +
Patrick.
I'll give you a free "A" on anything but
 
  +
Yeah?
the final term paper if you get it right.
 
  +
Who's this?
Charlie looks down. He's not going to answer.
 
  +
This is-
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
Charlie Kelmeckis.
Box office.
 
  +
Kelmeckis?
The kids groan. They should have known. Charlie smiles to
 
  +
No shit? Your sister's dating
himself. He's going to like this class.
 
  +
Ponytail Derek, isn't she?
11 INT. ENGLISH CLASS - LATER 11
 
  +
- God.
The bell rings. The students chatter their way out of class.
 
  +
- Is that what they call him?
The last to leave is Charlie.
 
  +
Would you leave Ponytail Derek alone?
BILL
 
  +
You put the "ass" in "class," Patrick.
You should learn to participate.
 
  +
I try. Sam, I try.
Charlie stops and turns to find Bill erasing the board.
 
  +
It's nice to meet you, Charlie.
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
I'm Sam.
Why didn't you raise your hand?
 
  +
- What's the plan? Are we going to Mary Elizabeth's tonight?
(off Charlie's shrug)
 
  +
- Nope.
They call you teacher’s pet? Freak?
 
  +
She got caught watering down her parents'
(off Charlie's nod)
 
  +
brandy with iced tea.
I used to get spaz. I mean, come on,
 
  +
Let's just go to Kings.
spaz?
 
  +
All right. We're goin' to Kings
Charlie smiles. Bill takes a moment. Then...
 
  +
after the game if you wanna come.
BILL (CONT'D)
 
So, I heard you had a tough time last
+
Do you have a favorite band?
  +
Well, I think The Smiths are my favorite.
year. But they say if you make one friend
 
  +
Are you kidding?
on your first day, you're doing okay.
 
  +
I love The Smiths. Best breakup band ever.
CHARLIE
 
  +
What's your favorite song?
Thank you, sir, but if my English teacher
 
  +
"Asleep." It's from Louder than Bombs.
is the only friend I make today, that
 
  +
I heard it on Ponytail Derek's mix tape.
would be sort of depressing.
 
  +
Oh, that works on so many levels.
BILL
 
  +
I can make you guys a copy if you want.
Yeah. I could see that.
 
  +
- What about Eides? You love Eides, right?
CHARLIE
 
Don't worry, Mr. Anderson. I'm okay.
+
- Yeah, of course. They're great.
  +
Not a band, Charlie.
7.
 
  +
It's a record store downtown.
Bill nods and watches Charlie exit. He gets swallowed up by
 
  +
Things sound so much better on vinyl.
the hallway as the bell rings.
 
  +
You know, I used to be popular
12 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY 12
 
  +
before Sam got me some good music.
Charlie looks through the thick office glass. He sees
 
  +
So you be careful.
Patrick use his charms on MRS. SMALL, (58) the Principal.
 
  +
She'll ruin your life forever.
PATRICK
 
  +
That's okay.
(to Mrs. Small)
 
  +
- Hey, Nothing.
I would happily not take shop...
 
  +
- Hey, Nothing.
Out of nowhere, the SENIOR BULLY grabs Charlie's book.
 
  +
Let it go! Jesus!
SENIOR BULLY
 
  +
It's an antique joke. It's over.
Hey, Freshman Toad.
 
  +
So what are you gonna do when you
The bully rips the cover. He throws it on the ground as his
 
  +
get outta this place?
friends laugh and disappear down the hall. Charlie walks up
 
  +
Well, my Aunt Helen said
and picks up his book.
 
  +
I should be a writer...
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
but I don't know what I'd write about.
Well, I have 1,384 days to go. And just
 
  +
You could write about us.
so I say it to someone, high school is
 
  +
Yeah! Call it Slut and the Falcon.
even worse than middle school.
 
  +
Make us solve crimes.
13 EXT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DAY 13
 
  +
You guys seem really happy together.
Charlie walks up the path to his house.
 
  +
How long have you been
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
boyfriend and girlfriend?
If my parents ask me about it, I probably
 
  +
He's not my boyfriend. He's my stepbrother.
won't tell them the truth because I don't
 
  +
My mom finally left my worthless dad...
want them to worry that I might get bad
 
  +
and married his nice dad
again.
 
  +
when we moved here.
14 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON 14
 
  +
But she's not bitter or anything.
Charlie tapes his book cover back together. He looks up as
 
  +
Make no mistake.
his dad comes home from a long day. Charlie's mom hugs him.
 
  +
Absolutely not. Charlie, I'm not a bulimic.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
- I'm a bulim-ist.
If my Aunt Helen were still here, I could
 
talk to her. And I know she would
+
- I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.
  +
She just really believes in bulimia.
understand how I am both happy and sad,
 
  +
I love bulimia!
and I'm still trying to figure out how
 
  +
Hey. Thanks for paying, Charlie.
that could be. I just hope I make a
 
  +
Oh, no problem. Thank
friend soon. Love always, Charlie.
 
  +
you guys for the ride.
15 INT. CHARLIE'S DINING ROOM - EARLY EVENING 15
 
  +
Maybe I'll see you around in school?
Charlie stands in the kitchen, pouring his milk.
 
  +
- God, would you turn it down? You're gonna make us deaf.
8.
 
  +
- So be it. It's rock and roll.
MOTHER (O.S.)
 
  +
Bye, Charlie!
Charlie, come on.
 
  +
- Bye, Charlie.
His family is seated around the table. Candace's boyfriend,
 
  +
- Okay, bye.
Derek, is their special guest.
 
  +
Your mom says,
DEREK
 
  +
"Don't go to Columbia with Candace, Derek."
Mmmm. This chicken paprikash is
 
  +
- Shut...
delicious, Mrs. Kelmeckis.
 
  +
- "Don't go to Columbia!"
Charlie's father rolls his eyes, then reads his sports page.
 
  +
Do you always want to
MOTHER
 
  +
be a mama's boy, Derek?
Thank you, Derek. It's Charlie's
 
  +
I am not a mama's boy!
favorite. He was a little nervous about
 
  +
You are, because
starting high school, so I made it.
 
  +
every single time I go to your house...
FATHER
 
  +
Every single time!
You feel a little silly being nervous
 
  +
Shut up, Candace!
now, huh, champ?
 
  +
You just stand there
CHARLIE
 
  +
like a little bitch dog.
Yes, sir. I sure do.
 
  +
No. Charlie...
Charlie carries his milk back to the table. He quickly sits,
 
  +
Charlie, just go. I can handle it.
hoping someone will change the subject.
 
  +
Just don't wake up Mom and Dad.
FATHER
 
  +
Hey! Look who's here.
I told you. Just give 'em a smile and be
 
  +
Welcome home, Aunt Helen.
yourself. That's how you--
 
  +
Look at you guys.
CANDACE
 
  +
Dressed so nice.
"--make friends in the real world."
 
  +
Hey, Candace.
FATHER
 
  +
What are you doing?
You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
 
  +
Look, I egged him on. You saw it.
DEREK
 
  +
He's never hit me before, and I promise
Freshman year is tough, but you really
 
  +
you, he will never hit me again.
find yourself.
 
  +
Like Aunt Helen's boyfriends?
FATHER
 
  +
Charlie, this is Ponytail Derek.
(deep eye roll)
 
  +
I can handle him.
Thanks, Derek.
 
  +
Do you trust me?
16 INT. LIVING ROOM / ENTRY HALL - EVENING 16
 
  +
Please, don't tell Mom and Dad.
Charlie's father and mother watch a local sports show.
 
  +
Oh, my God, they're playing good music!
Charlie passes by them with ice cream on his way downstairs.
 
  +
Holy shit. Holy shit! They are!
MOTHER
 
  +
They're playing good music.
I think you could be a little nicer to
 
  +
- Living room routine.
Derek.
 
  +
- Living room routine.
9.
 
  +
- Yes.
FATHER
 
  +
- Yes!
I'm sorry. The kid's a pussy. I can't
 
  +
Excuse us. Excuse me. Pardon.
stand him.
 
  +
Sorry.
Charlie moves to the entry hall. He looks through the screen
 
  +
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
door to the porch where Candace kisses Derek's cheek goodbye.
 
  +
Poor old Johnny Ray
As Derek walks to his mom's Mercedes, Candace joins Charlie.
 
  +
Sounded sad upon the radio
DEREK
 
  +
Moved a million hearts
(waving from car)
 
  +
in mono
I hope you love the mix I made. The
 
  +
Our mothers cried
cover is hand-painted.
 
  +
- Sang along, who'd blame them?
When he gets into his car, she hands Charlie the mix tape.
 
  +
- Come on, Eileen
CANDACE
 
  +
Too-rye-loo-rye,
Charlie, do you want this?
 
  +
Too-rye-loo-rye-ay
CHARLIE
 
  +
And we can sing
Are you sure?
 
  +
just like our fathers
CANDACE
 
  +
Come on, Eileen
He gives me one every week.
 
  +
- Oh, I swear
17 INT. CHARLIE'S BED ROOM - DUSK 17
 
  +
- What he means
Charlie sits on his bed, reading To Kill a Mockingbird, the
 
  +
At this moment
cover taped back together. We see Derek's mix... Autumn
 
  +
you mean everything
Leaves... rotate in his old tape recorder.
 
  +
You in that dress
DEREK (V.O.)
 
  +
My thoughts, I confess
Hey, Babe. This next one might be a
 
  +
Verge on dirty
little sad, but it reminded me of your
 
  +
Oh, come on, Eileen
eyes.
 
  +
Come on, Eileen
The first notes of The Smiths' "Asleep" begins. As Morrissey
 
  +
Too-loo-rye-ay
sings, Charlie keeps reading. And reading.
 
  +
Come on, Eileen
CUT TO:
 
  +
Too-loo-rye-ay
18 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY 18
 
  +
Now you're full grown
The reading is done. Charlie proudly puts To Kill a
 
  +
Now you have shown
Mockingbird on his newly dubbed "Shelf of Fame."
 
  +
Eileen
19 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON 19
 
  +
Come on, Eileen
The songs continues as we see glimpses of Charlie's day to
 
  +
These things they are real
day life over the next few weeks. Charlie exits his English
 
  +
and I know how you feel
class. FRESHMEN BULLIES wait for him, led by...
 
  +
Now I must say
SMART ASS FRESHMAN
 
  +
more than ever
Did you already do the term paper on To
 
  +
Things round here
10.
 
  +
have changed
Silence. They grab and drag him into the boy's room. We
 
  +
I said, too-loo-rye
hear the toilet flush for the swirly.
 
  +
Too-loo-rye-ay
20 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DUSK 20
 
  +
God, it's freezing!
Charlie looks at the new bottle of prescription Wellbutrin.
 
  +
But you wore that toasty costume.
He puts a pill in his mouth and washes it down with RC cola.
 
  +
It's not like it's cute or original.
21 INT. CHARLIE'S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON 21
 
  +
- You'd hope it would be warm.
Charlie watches his brother and the Penn State Nittany Lions
 
  +
- Yeah, piss off, Tennessee Tuxedo.
on TV. He looks over at his father, but his dad is too busy
 
  +
Are you sure it's okay that I come?
building Charlie's clock for shop class to notice him.
 
  +
Yeah, of course.
22 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - LUNCH 22
 
  +
Just remember, Charlie, Bob's not paranoid.
Charlie carries his tray through the intimidating cafeteria.
 
  +
He's sensitive.
Not giving up. Looking for somewhere to sit.
 
  +
Sam!
CUT TO:
 
  +
That waitress from the Olive Garden,
23 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - LUNCH 23
 
  +
she was such a tease.
Charlie sits by himself in the corner. He looks around the
 
  +
Will you marry me?
cafeteria, wanting to break in. Not knowing how. After a
 
  +
Only with Patrick's blessing.
moment, he returns to his book. The song ends.
 
  +
Patrick?
24 EXT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - FOOTBALL STADIUM - NIGHT 24
 
  +
You are a hopeless stoner
Friday Night Football in Western, PA. Charlie buys his Coke
 
  +
who attends the culinary institute.
and nachos and wanders to the bleachers. He sits alone,
 
  +
I'm gonna say "no" on that,
trying to blend in by cheering with the rest of students.
 
  +
but nice try. Charlie.
When the Mill Grove Devils recover a fumble, he hears...
 
  +
Oh, touch.
PATRICK
 
  +
So, Charlie. This is a party.
Come on Devils! Woooooo!
 
  +
This is what fun looks like.
Charlie looks up at Patrick, cheering his head off. TWIN
 
  +
Are you ready to meet some desperate women?
SENIOR GIRLS pass him, taunting.
 
  +
Here, have a seat.
TWIN SENIOR GIRLS
 
Hey, Nothing. Hey, Nothing.
+
Hey, ladies.
  +
Meet Charlie.
PATRICK
 
  +
- Hi.
Suck it, virginity pledges!
 
  +
- Meet ladies.
Charlie wants to go up to Patrick so badly. After driving
 
  +
- Hey.
himself crazy, sitting up and down twice, he approaches.
 
  +
- Mary Elizabeth.
CHARLIE
 
  +
- Alice.
Hey... Patrick.
 
  +
- Nice to meet you.
11.
 
  +
This is Charlie's first party ever.
PATRICK
 
  +
So I expect nice, meaningful,
Hey! You're in my shop class, right?
 
  +
heartfelt blowjobs from both of you.
How's your clock coming?
 
  +
- Patrick, you're such a dick.
CHARLIE
 
  +
- Where the hell did you go?
My dad's building it.
 
  +
- The dance was a little boring, don't you think?
PATRICK
 
  +
- You are so selfish.
Yeah. Mine looks like a boat.
 
  +
We looked everywhere for you.
(off Charlie's awkward silence)
 
  +
You could have told someone.
You want to sit over here, or are you
 
  +
Cry me a river.
waiting for your friends?
 
  +
How is it that you've got meaner since
CHARLIE
 
  +
becoming a Buddhist?
No. I'll sit if that's okay.
 
  +
Just lucky, I guess.
Patrick motions for Charlie to sit. Charlie sits. Elated.
 
  +
No, you're doing something wrong, I think.
PATRICK
 
  +
Or something very right.
Thanks for not calling me "Nothing" by
 
  +
- Yeah, well...
the way. It's an endless nightmare. And
 
  +
- Hey!
these assholes actually think they're
 
  +
Look who's here.
being original.
 
  +
Is that Brad Hays?
Brad Hays puts on his helmet and rushes onto the field.
 
  +
Yeah. He comes here sometimes.
Charlie dries his hands on his pants. So nervous. A 5
 
  +
But he's a popular kid.
second silence that feels like a year. Think of something to
 
  +
Then what are we?
say. Anything.
 
  +
Oh, Charlie! You look like
CHARLIE
 
  +
you could use a brownie.
So, uh... you like football?
 
  +
Thank you.
PATRICK
 
  +
I was so hungry at the dance.
Love it.
 
  +
I was gonna go to Kings...
CHARLIE
 
  +
but I didn't really have any time.
Then, maybe you know my broth--
 
  +
Thanks.
PATRICK
 
  +
Have you guys felt this carpet?
Hey, Sam.
 
  +
This carpet feels so darn good.
Charlie looks up. Standing there is the prettiest girl he's
 
  +
Charlie, Charlie,
ever seen. SAM (17) would make every mother proud and every
 
  +
what do you think about high school?
father nervous. She is alive, adventurous, and a world class
 
  +
High school?
flirt. Great attitude. Great taste. Great banter.
 
  +
Bullshit.
SAM
 
  +
The cafeteria is called
Question. Could the bathrooms here be
 
  +
the Nutrition Center.
more disgusting?
 
  +
People wear their letter jackets
PATRICK
 
Yes, they call it the men's room.
+
even when it's 98 degrees out.
  +
And why do they give out
12.
 
  +
letter jackets to marching band?
Sam sits down, sandwiching Charlie between her and Patrick.
 
  +
It's not a sport.
Charlie tries to remain casual. Hang in there, buddy.
 
  +
We all know it.
SAM
 
  +
This kid is crazy.
Well, I finally got hold of Bob.
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth,
PATRICK
 
  +
I think you're really gonna regret that...
Party tonight?
 
  +
you know-haircut when you
SAM
 
  +
look back at old photographs.
No. He's still trying to shag that
 
  +
Oh, my God!
waitress from the Olive Garden.
 
  +
I'm really sorry.
PATRICK
 
  +
That sounded like a compliment in my head.
He's never tossing that salad.
 
  +
My God!
Brad Hays marches the Devils offense down the field. The
 
  +
Well, it's kinda true.
kids clap. Sam looks at Charlie, then turns back to Patrick.
 
  +
Shut up!
SAM
 
  +
I can't even be mad at him. Look at him.
(about Charlie)
 
  +
Bob, did you get him stoned?
Patrick... who's this?
 
  +
Come on, Sam, he likes
PATRICK
 
  +
it, just look at him.
This is...
 
  +
How do you feel, Charlie?
CHARLIE
 
  +
I just really want a milk shake.
Uh... Charlie... Kelmeckis.
 
  +
Sam...
PATRICK
 
  +
You have such pretty brown eyes.
Kelmeckis! No shit! Your sister dates
 
  +
The kind of pretty that deserves to make...
Pony Tail Derek, doesn't she?
 
  +
a big deal about itself though,
CHARLIE
 
Is that what they call him?
+
you know what I mean?
  +
Okay, Charlie. Let me make the milk shake.
SAM
 
  +
What a great word. Milk shake.
Awww. Leave Pony Tail Derek alone. You
 
  +
It's like when you say your name over
put the "ass" in "class," Patrick.
 
  +
and over again in the mirror...
PATRICK
 
  +
and after a while it sounds crazy.
I try, Sam. I try.
 
  +
So I'm guessing you've
SAM
 
  +
never been high before?
It's nice to meet you, Charlie. I'm Sam.
 
  +
No. No, no, no.
Sam extends her hand to Charlie. Every nail a different
 
  +
My best friend, Michael,
color. They shake. Then, Sam grabs a nacho. Zoinks!
 
  +
his dad was a big drinker...
PATRICK
 
  +
so he hated all that stuff.
So, what's the plan, Sam? You want to go
 
  +
Parties too.
to Mary Elizabeth's house?
 
  +
Well, where is Michael tonight?
13.
 
  +
Oh, he shot himself last May.
SAM
 
  +
I kinda wished he'd left a note.
Can't. She got caught watering down her
 
  +
You know what I mean?
parent's brandy with iced tea. Let's
 
  +
Where's the bathroom?
just go to Kings.
 
  +
It's up the stairs.
PATRICK
 
  +
Thanks, Sam.
(turns to Charlie)
 
  +
You're so nice.
Hey... we're going to Kings after the
 
  +
Charlie.
game if you want to come.
 
  +
Weird.
Charlie nods just as Brad Hays tosses a touchdown pass. The
 
  +
Charlie.
fans go crazy. Especially Patrick. Charlie smiles.
 
  +
What...
25 INT. KINGS FAMILY RESTAURANT - NIGHT 25
 
  +
Who was that kid?
The Devils' faithful cheer as Brad Hays and his guys enter!
 
  +
Relax. Relax. He's a friend of mine.
The place is packed. Patrick and Sam drink coffee while
 
  +
Stay here.
Charlie eats his brownie. They're all excited.
 
  +
I didn't see anything.
SAM
 
  +
Yeah, I know you saw something,
Do you have a favorite band?
 
  +
but it's okay.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Okay, listen...
I think The Smiths are my favorite.
 
  +
Brad doesn't want anyone to know.
SAM
 
  +
Wait.
Are you kidding!? I love The Smiths!
 
  +
- Are you baked?
The best breakup band ever. What's your
 
  +
- Like a cake.
favorite song?
 
  +
That's what Bob said.
CHARLIE
 
  +
And you can't have three on a match
Asleep. It's from Louder Than Bombs. I
 
  +
because then they'd find us.
heard it on Pony Tail Derek's mix tape.
 
  +
And everybody laughed
PATRICK
 
  +
but I don't understand what's funny.
That works on so many levels.
 
  +
Okay, Charlie, listen.
CHARLIE
 
  +
I need you to promise...
I could make a copy for you.
 
  +
that you're not gonna say anything
SAM
 
Thanks. What about Eide's? You love
+
to anyone about me and Brad.
  +
Okay? This has to be our little secret.
Eide's, right?
 
  +
Our little secret. Agreed.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Okay.
(never heard of it)
 
  +
Thank you.
Yeah. They're great.
 
  +
We'll talk later.
PATRICK
 
  +
I look forward to that big talk.
Not a band, Charlie.
 
  +
Can I have your cherry?
SAM
 
  +
Isn't this the best milk shake ever, Alice?
It's an old record store downtown.
 
  +
It's even better than the first one.
14.
 
  +
Charlie just told me that
PATRICK
 
  +
his best friend shot himself.
I used to be popular before Sam got me
 
  +
I don't think he has any friends.
some good music. So, watch out, Charlie.
 
  +
Hey, everyone!
She'll ruin your life forever.
 
  +
Everybody!
CHARLIE
 
  +
Everyone...
That's okay.
 
  +
raise your glasses to Charlie.
Brad Hays, the quarterback, passes with his posse. Taunting.
 
  +
- What did I do?
NOSE TACKLE & LINEBACKER
 
  +
- You didn't do anything.
Hey, Nothing. Hey, Nothing.
 
  +
We just wanna toast to our new friend.
PATRICK
 
  +
You see things.
Let it go! Jesus! It's an old joke!
 
  +
And you understand.
It's over!
 
  +
You're a wallflower.
Sam laughs. She loves watching Patrick get riled up.
 
  +
What is it? What's wrong?
SAM
 
  +
I didn't think anyone noticed me.
So, Charlie... what are you going to do
 
  +
Well, we didn't think
when you get out of here?
 
  +
there was anyone cool left to meet.
CHARLIE
 
  +
So come on, everyone.
My Aunt Helen said I should be a writer,
 
  +
To Charlie.
but I don't know what I'd write about.
 
  +
To Charlie.
SAM
 
  +
Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys.
You could write about us.
 
  +
Oh, my God! What is this song?
PATRICK
 
  +
Right? I have no idea.
Yeah. Call it Slut and The Falcon. Make
 
  +
Have you ever heard this before?
us solve crimes.
 
  +
Never.
Sam laughs. Charlie smiles.
 
  +
Patrick, we've gotta go through the tunnel.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Sam, it's freezing.
You guys look happy together. How long
 
  +
Patrick, It's the perfect song.
have you been boyfriend and girlfriend?
 
  +
No. Mama Patrick says "No."
(off their laughs)
 
  +
Patrick. It's Sam.
What?
 
  +
It's Sam speaking to you right now.
SAM
 
  +
I'm begging you to do this for me.
He's my step-brother. My mom finally
 
  +
I concede!
left my worthless dad and married his
 
  +
What is she doing?
nice dad 3 years ago.
 
  +
Oh, don't worry. She does it all the time.
PATRICK
 
  +
Turn it up!
But Sam's not bitter. Make no mistake.
 
  +
You got it, your highness.
SAM
 
  +
We can be heroes
Absolutely. I'm not a bulimic. I'm a
 
  +
Just for one day
bulim-ist.
 
  +
I
15.
 
  +
I will be king
They laugh at their inside joke. Charlie has no idea what's
 
  +
And you
so funny.
 
  +
What?
CHARLIE
 
  +
I feel infinite.
I'm sorry. I don't know what that means.
 
  +
And nothing
PATRICK
 
  +
Will drive them away
She just really believes in bulimia.
 
  +
We can be heroes
SAM
 
  +
Just for one day
(cracking up)
 
  +
Dear friend...
I love bulimia.
 
  +
I'm sorry I haven't written for a while...
26 EXT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 26
 
  +
but I've been trying
Charlie hops out of Sam's old truck. The music blares.
 
  +
hard not to be a loser.
PATRICK
 
  +
For example, I'm trying to participate...
Thanks for paying, Charlie.
 
  +
by listening to Sam's collection
CHARLIE
 
  +
of big rock ballads...
(so eager)
 
  +
and thinking about love.
No problem. Thanks for the ride. Hey...
 
  +
Sam says they're kitschy and brilliant.
maybe I'll see you around in school?
 
  +
I completely agree.
SAM
 
  +
I'm also writing essays
(distracted - to Patrick)
 
  +
and studying extra books outside of class.
God, would you turn that down? You're
 
  +
As it turns out, Mr. Anderson is a writer.
going to make us deaf. Bye, Charlie.
 
  +
He even had a play put
PATRICK
 
  +
up in New York once...
Bye, Charlie.
 
  +
which I think is very impressive.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Great Gatsby?
Okay. Bye.
 
  +
He and his wife might go back there
Charlie waves as the truck leaves. The look on his face.
 
  +
after this year.
The happiness from one night of company.
 
  +
I know this is selfish,
27 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 27
 
  +
but I really hope he doesn't.
Charlie enters the house, excited to tell someone his news.
 
  +
My favorite time, though, is lunch...
He runs up the stairs to find the living room empty. He
 
  +
because I get to see Sam and Patrick.
hears the TV playing downstairs in the basement.
 
  +
We spend the time working on
28 INT. DOORWAY TO BASEMENT - NIGHT 28
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth's fanzine...
As Charlie approaches, he hears muffled sounds of fighting.
 
  +
about music and
DEREK (O.S.)
 
  +
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it.
 
  +
It's called Punk Rocky.
Please talk to me.
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth is really interesting...
16.
 
  +
because she's a Buddhist and a punk.
CANDACE (O.S.)
 
  +
But somehow she always acts like my father
Maybe your mom and I should have a "drive
 
  +
at the end of a long day.
us to our hair appointment" contest.
 
  +
Her best friend Alice loves vampires...
Then, I could spend a Saturday with you.
 
  +
and wants to go to film school.
Charlie looks through a slit in the open door to find...
 
  +
She also steals jeans from the mall.
DEREK
 
  +
I don't know why, because
There's nothing I can do--
 
  +
her family is rich...
CANDACE
 
Do you always want to be a mama's boy?
+
but I'm trying not to be judgmental.
  +
Especially since I know that they
DEREK
 
  +
were all there for Patrick last year.
I am not a mama's boy--
 
  +
Patrick never likes to be serious...
CANDACE
 
  +
so it took me a while to get what happened.
Yes! You are! Every time I go to your
 
  +
When he was a junior, Patrick started
house--
 
  +
seeing Brad on the weekends in secret.
DEREK
 
  +
I guess it was hard, too...
Shhh. Shut u--
 
  +
because Brad had to
CANDACE
 
  +
get drunk every time they fooled around.
-- your mom says, "Don't go to Columbia
 
  +
Then Monday in school, Brad would say...
with Candace. Go to Pitt, Derek. Mommy
 
  +
"Man, I was so wasted I
needs you to stay at home because she
 
  +
don't remember a thing."
can't drive herself." She's only 51.
 
  +
This went on for seven months.
DEREK
 
  +
When they finally did it,
SHUT UP, CANDACE!
 
  +
Brad said he loved Patrick.
29 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS 29
 
  +
Then he started to cry.
Charlie enters, wanting to stop the fight. Derek's neck is
 
  +
No matter what Patrick did...
red. Dangerous angry. Candace keeps digging.
 
  +
Brad kept saying that
CANDACE
 
  +
his dad would kill him.
And you just stand there like a little
 
  +
And saying that he was going to hell.
bitch dog.
 
  +
Patrick was eventually
SNAP! Out of nowhere, Derek slaps her across the face. It's
 
  +
able to help Brad get sober.
not a movie slap. It's a real slap. Dead sound. And after
 
  +
I asked Patrick if he felt sad...
it, silence. Candace turns and sees Charlie. It sobers her
 
  +
that he still had to keep it a secret.
up. Charlie moves at Derek. Candace stops him.
 
  +
And he said "No," because at least now...
CANDACE (CONT'D)
 
  +
Brad doesn't have to get drunk to love him.
Charlie, just go. I can handle it. Just
 
  +
I think I understand,
don't wake up mom and dad.
 
  +
because I really like Sam.
She pushes him out of the room and closes the door.
 
  +
I asked my sister about her...
17.
 
  +
and she said that when
30 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 30
 
  +
Sam was a freshman...
Charlie sits at his desk. So disturbed. He hears a car
 
  +
the upperclassmen used to
start outside. He moves to his window and looks down at
 
  +
get her drunk at parties.
Derek and Candace near Derek's mother's Mercedes. Derek is
 
  +
I guess she had a reputation.
crying. Candace comforts. After a beat... they kiss.
 
  +
But I don't care.
Charlie stands frozen, a look creeping across his face.
 
  +
I'd hate for her to judge me based on
MOTHER (V.O.)
 
  +
what I used to be like.
Hey, look who's here...
 
  +
So I've been making her
FLASHBACK TO:
 
  +
a mix tape so she'll know how I feel.
31 INT. ENTRY HALL - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 31
 
  +
Oh, shit!
The door opens to reveal Charlie's mom and AUNT HELEN
 
  +
- C!
entering the house. Aunt Helen carries a suitcase. The
 
  +
- C!
children don't know where she's been or why she looks sad.
 
  +
- Give me a K!
They just know they love her. Little Charlie stands at the
 
  +
- K!
top of the stairs with his brother and sister in their Sunday
 
  +
- Give me a Y!
clothes. There are balloons. And streamers.
 
  +
- Y!
LITTLE CANDACE
 
  +
What's that spell?
Welcome home, Aunt Helen!
 
  +
Rocky!
AUNT HELEN
 
  +
I can't hear you!
Oh. Look at you all, dressed so nice.
 
  +
Rocky!
Aunt Helen smiles at Little Charlie on top of the stairs.
 
  +
One more time!
MATCH CUT TO:
 
  +
Rocky!
32 INT. ENTRY HALL - NIGHT (PRESENT) 32
 
  +
Whatever happened
Charlie stands at the top of the stairs as Candace enters the
 
  +
to Fay Wray?
house. She is startled when she sees Charlie. They whisper.
 
  +
She went ape-shit.
CHARLIE
 
  +
That delicate
What are you doing?
 
  +
Satin-draped frame
CANDACE
 
  +
As it clung to her thigh
Look, I egged him on. You saw it. He's
 
  +
How I started to cry
never hit me before. I promise he'll
 
  +
'Cause I wanted to be dressed
never hit me again.
 
  +
just the same
She's about to go back downstairs when...
 
  +
Give yourself over
CHARLIE
 
  +
To absolute pleasure
Like Aunt Helen's boyfriends?
 
  +
Swim the warm waters
A silence passes between them. Then...
 
  +
Of sins of the flesh
18.
 
  +
Erotic nightmares
CANDACE
 
  +
Beyond any measure
Charlie... this is Pony Tail Derek. I
 
  +
And sensual daydreams
can handle him. Will you trust me?
 
  +
To treasure forever
Please, don't tell mom and dad.
 
  +
Can't you just see it?
With a desperately confident nod, Candace goes downstairs.
 
  +
Don't dream it
Charlie stands in the entry hall, troubled.
 
  +
Be it
33 INT. GYMNASIUM - NIGHT 33
 
  +
That picture is gorgeous, Craig.
The Homecoming Dance is in full swing. God bless everyone.
 
  +
What did you use?
Especially Charlie. He's alone at the wall, dressed in his
 
  +
Oh, I know. Thank you.
Sunday suit. To us, adorable. To himself, in living hell.
 
  +
Color film,
Charlie watches his sister, slow dancing with Derek. As
 
  +
but black and white paper for printing.
happy as she looks, Charlie still isn't sure if he did the
 
  +
Yeah. My professor gave me an A...
right thing by keeping quiet. The song ends to applause.
 
  +
but for all the wrong reasons.
After a beat, Charlie turns away. That's when he sees Sam
 
  +
Most of them are idiots.
and Patrick at the punch bowl. We hear the first notes of
 
  +
You'll see what I mean
"Come On, Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners.
 
  +
when you get to college.
SAM
 
  +
How'd your S.A.T.'s go, by the way?
Oh, my God. They're playing good music.
 
  +
Yeah, I hope so.
PATRICK
 
  +
So-
Holy shit. They are! They're playing
 
  +
Are you okay?
good music!
 
  +
Yeah. Yeah.
SAM
 
  +
But I got my S.A.T. results back.
(total mischief)
 
  +
Oops.
Living room routine?
 
  +
You can take them again, you know.
PATRICK
 
  +
Yeah, it's just,
Living room routine!
 
  +
if I'm going to Penn State main campus...
Charlie watches Sam and Patrick run to the center of the
 
  +
I have to do much better.
floor and show this stiff crowd what dancing is. It starts
 
  +
I wish I would have studied freshman year.
slow. "So over it" hand moves. A little shoulder. And
 
  +
It's a bit of a mess.
then, the best of swing. 30 seconds of genius.
 
  +
I'll help you study for the next one.
Charlie takes a breath. Then, he tries desperately not to
 
  +
Will you?
look like he's dancing toward them as he dances toward them.
 
  +
Yeah. Of course.
He bobs his head like a dork. And once he gets close,
 
  +
Thanks, Charlie.
Patrick and Sam turn and find him.
 
  +
What's this?
SAM & PATRICK
 
  +
It's just a mix tape. No big deal.
Hey!
 
  +
My parents have a good stereo, so...
Without a pause, they grab his hands, and move together in a
 
  +
It's all about that night in the tunnel.
circle. Their own island. After a moment, Sam moves around
 
  +
I couldn't find that song
Charlie like a maypole as the whole gym explodes into dance.
 
  +
that we were listening to...
19.
 
  +
but, you know, I'm still
34 EXT. BOB'S HOUSE - NIGHT 34
 
  +
searching for it, so yeah.
The party rages inside this mansion in the rich part of town.
 
  +
That's okay.
Patrick and Sam walk up the steps with Charlie tailing.
 
  +
These are great.
SAM
 
  +
Nick Drake.
God, it's freezing.
 
  +
The Shaggs.
PATRICK
 
  +
You have really good taste, Charlie.
But you wore that toasty costume. It's
 
  +
Really?
not like you're trying too hard to be
 
  +
Yeah.
original.
 
  +
Way better than me as a freshman.
SAM
 
  +
I used to listen to the worst Top 40.
Piss off, Tennessee Tuxedo.
 
  +
- No.
CHARLIE
 
  +
- Yeah, I did.
Are you sure it's okay that I come?
 
  +
Then I heard this old song.
SAM
 
  +
"Pearly Dewdrops' Drop."
Of course. Just remember, Charlie...
 
  +
And I thought someday I'd be at a
Bob's not paranoid.
 
  +
party in college or something...
PATRICK
 
  +
and I'd look up and see
"He's sensitive."
 
  +
this person across the room.
Sam knocks. The door opens, revealing BOB (20). Bob was the
 
  +
And from that moment, I'd know...
cool high school kid, who never quite left. He's stoned so
 
  +
everything was going to be okay.
often that people can't tell the difference anymore.
 
  +
You know what I mean?
BOB
 
  +
Yeah.
Sam... that waitress from the Olive
 
  +
I hope it works out.
Garden is a tease. Will you marry me?
 
  +
I don't know.
SAM
 
  +
Craig would be
Only if I have Patrick's blessing.
 
  +
a big step up from her last boyfriend.
BOB
 
  +
Yeah, no shit.
Patrick?
 
  +
Who could forget Mr. Car Wash Loser?
PATRICK
 
  +
I just hope she can stop playing dumb
You're a hopeless stoner who attends the
 
  +
with these guys.
culinary institute. So, I'm going to
 
  +
I keep telling her, "Don't
have to say "no" on that one, but nice
 
  +
make yourself small."
try. Charlie?
 
  +
Can't save anybody.
Patrick leads Charlie inside, leaving Bob staring at Sam.
 
  +
Excuse me.
BOB
 
  +
Man, your mix is morbidly sad, kid.
Touché.
 
  +
How about something
35 INT. BOB'S BASEMENT - MOMENTS LATER 35
 
  +
a little bit more upbeat?
20.
 
  +
Let's just see.
PATRICK
 
  +
So Sam tells me you wanna be a writer.
Charlie... this is a party.
 
  +
Yeah.
The music blasts. Charlie's eyes are our guide. As they
 
  +
Don't you write poetry, Craig?
walk through the crowd, you can smell it. Stale beer and
 
  +
Poetry writes me. You know?
cigarette smoke. High school parties. The room is packed
 
  +
Let's get this party started.
with kids playing quarters. Others pouring vodka into a *
 
  +
That was fast.
watermelon.
 
  +
You want another one?
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
Yeah.
This is what fun looks like.
 
  +
All right.
Patrick smiles when he spots two friends.
 
  +
Mr. Anderson?
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
Can I ask you something?
You ready to meet some desperate women?
 
  +
Yeah.
MARY ELIZABETH and ALICE (both 17) sit on the sofa together.
 
  +
Why do nice people choose
Mary Elizabeth is smart, a little overweight, and extremely
 
  +
the wrong people to date?
bossy. Alice will figure out that she's a lesbian in
 
  +
Are we talking about anyone specific?
college. Right now, she just likes movies and is Mary
 
  +
Well...
Elizabeth's "beta female."
 
  +
We accept the love we think we deserve.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
Can we make them know
Here, have a seat. Hey, ladies, meet
 
  +
that they deserve more?
Charlie. Charlie, meet ladies.
 
  +
We can try.
They shake hands and say their hellos.
 
  +
- Hey.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
- Hey, Sam. Didn't see you come in.
This is Charlie's first party ever. So,
 
  +
How's it goin'?
I expect nice, meaningful, heartfelt blow
 
  +
You wanna start work on
jobs from both of you.
 
  +
probability and statistics?
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Yeah. Sure.
Patrick, you're such a dick.
 
  +
Page 291 in your book.
PATRICK
 
  +
And I ordered you some breakfast.
Where the hell did you go?
 
  +
The country breakfast.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Dad?
The dance was a little boring, don't you
 
  +
Can I have 30 dollars?
think?
 
  +
Twenty dollars?
PATRICK
 
  +
What do you need 10 dollars for?
You're so selfish. We looked everywhere
 
  +
Sam's doing Secret Santa.
for you. You could have told someone.
 
  +
It's her favorite thing in the world.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Please?
Cry me a river.
 
  +
Have fun.
PATRICK
 
  +
Thanks.
How is it that you got meaner since
 
  +
Charlie.
21.
 
  +
This was my favorite book growing up.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
This is my copy, but I want you to have it.
Just lucky I guess.
 
  +
Thanks.
PATRICK
 
  +
Have a great Christmas break.
I think you're doing something wrong.
 
  +
You, too, Mr. Anderson.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Terrible stain.
Or something very right.
 
  +
That's pretty good, Charlie.
Patrick and Mary Elizabeth laugh at their banter, just as Sam
 
  +
You gotta be kidding me.
calls out from the other side of the room.
 
  +
If you fail me, you get me next semester.
SAM (O.S.)
 
  +
C minus!
Hey! Look who's here!
 
  +
Ladies and gentlemen, I am below average!
The party turns, and Charlie sees Brad Hays, the quarterback,
 
  +
- Below average!
enter with Sam and Bob. Patrick approaches them. Charlie
 
  +
- Below average!
sits on the beat up couch next to the girls. He's shocked.
 
  +
Guys, 1210.
CHARLIE
 
  +
What?
Is that Brad Hays?
 
  +
No more applications! No more S.A.T.'s!
ALICE
 
  +
Thank you, Charlie!
Yeah. He comes here sometimes.
 
  +
All right. All right, guys, I got...
CHARLIE
 
  +
Multiple pairs of bluejeans.
But he's a popular kid.
 
  +
This is a really tough one...
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
but I'm gonna have to guess Alice.
(offended)
 
  +
Wait.
Then, what are we?
 
  +
Guys, a receipt! She actually paid!
Charlie tries to think of something, but he can't. The girls
 
  +
I'm so touched!
turn, ignoring him. Bob approaches with a tray.
 
  +
Where's Craig?
BOB
 
  +
Oh, he went home to Connecticut.
Charlie, you look like you could use a
 
  +
But he'll be back for New Year's Eve.
brownie.
 
  +
Sorry we won't be seeing him tonight.
CHARLIE
 
  +
All right, big brother by three weeks,
Thank you. I was so hungry at the dance.
 
  +
who's your Secret Santa?
I was going to go to King's, but I didn't
 
  +
I'll tell you, Sam.
really have any time. Thanks.
 
  +
This one's tough.
Bob smiles. Mary Elizabeth gives Alice a knowing glance.
 
  +
I have received a harmonica...
Charlie bites into the brownie. The icing gushing between
 
  +
a Magnetic Poetry set...
his teeth. The image goes up into the smoke like an inhale
 
  +
a book about Harvey Milk...
as he chews and chews and chews.
 
  +
and a mix tape with
36 INT. BOB'S BASEMENT - LATER 36
 
  +
the song "Asleep" on it twice.
After a beat, the music changes, and the image exhales back
 
  +
I mean, I have no idea.
down to Charlie, who is now... baked out of his mind. The
 
  +
This collection of presents is so gay...
22.
 
  +
that I think I must have
whole party surrounds him now, pissing themselves with
 
  +
given them to myself.
laughter as this shy kid talks and talks and talks.
 
  +
But despite that distinct possibility...
CHARLIE
 
  +
I'm gonna have to go with...
Have you guys felt this carpet? This
 
  +
Drum roll.
carpet feels so darn good.
 
  +
Charlie.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Obviously.
(laughing)
 
  +
Beautifully done.
Charlie, what do you think about high
 
  +
All right, Charlie. It's your turn.
school?
 
  +
Okay.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Okey dokey.
High school? Bullshit. The cafeteria is
 
  +
I have received socks, pants,
called the Nutrition Center. And people
 
  +
a shirt and a belt.
wear their letter jackets even when it's
 
  +
I was ordered to wear
98 degrees out. And why do they give out
 
  +
them all tonight, so...
letters for marching band? That's not a
 
  +
Guessing my Secret Santa is Mary Elizabeth.
sport, and we all know it.
 
  +
Now why do you say that?
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
You know, she bosses
This kid is crazy.
 
  +
people around sometimes.
Charlie looks at Mary Elizabeth with her new wave haircut.
 
  +
Sorry.
CHARLIE
 
  +
- What the hell is wrong with you?
And Mary Elizabeth, I think you're really
 
  +
- Sorry.
going to regret that haircut when you
 
  +
You'll be surprised to know
look back at old photographs.
 
  +
that your Secret Santa is actually me.
(off their laughter)
 
  +
Why all the clothes?
I'm really sorry. That sounded like a
 
  +
Well, all the great writers
compliment in my head.
 
  +
used to wear great suits.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
So your last present
Oh, my God!
 
  +
is on a towel rack in the bathroom.
ALICE
 
  +
Delve into our facilities.
Well, it's kind of true.
 
  +
Emerge a star.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Perfect.
Shut up!
 
  +
Will you hand these out while I'm gone?
Sam enters the room. Takes quick stock. Then...
 
  +
Wait a second.
SAM
 
  +
There's only Secret Santa presents.
Bob, did you get him stoned?
 
  +
There's rules.
BOB
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth, why are you
Come on, Sam. He likes it. Just look at
 
  +
trying to eat Christmas?
him.
 
  +
Hand them out, Sam.
SAM
 
  +
All right. Mary Elizabeth. For you.
How do you feel, Charlie?
 
  +
Alice.
23.
 
  +
Thanks.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Bob.
I just really want a milkshake.
 
  +
And this one's for me.
The entire room explodes with laughter. Charlie loves that
 
  +
"Alice, I know you'll get into NYU."
people find him so funny.
 
  +
Forty dollars to print
37 INT. BOB'S KITCHEN - NIGHT 37
 
  +
Punk Rocky in color next time.
Sam takes the ice cream from the freezer to the blender.
 
  +
He knows me.
Charlie watches her make the perfect vanilla milkshake.
 
  +
He really knows me.
CHARLIE
 
  +
All right, Charlie.
Sam, you have such pretty brown eyes, the
 
  +
Come on out.
kind of pretty that deserves to make a
 
  +
Get out here, buddy.
big deal about itself. You know what I
 
  +
Come on, Charlie. Charlie!
mean?
 
  +
Don't be shy.
SAM
 
  +
Come out, come out, wherever...
Okay, Charlie. Let me make the milkshake.
 
  +
Yeah!
CHARLIE
 
What a great word. Milkshake. It's like
+
What a display of man I have never seen!
  +
Where are we going?
when you say your name over and over
 
  +
It's a surprise.
again in the mirror, and after awhile, it
 
  +
Is this your room?
sounds crazy.
 
  +
So cool.
SAM
 
  +
Thanks.
I'm guessing you've never been high
 
  +
You got me a present?
before?
 
  +
After all your help
CHARLIE
 
  +
on my Penn State application?
Me? No. My best friend Michael. His
 
  +
Of course I did.
dad was a big drinker. So, he hated all
 
  +
Open it!
that stuff. Parties, too.
 
  +
I don't know what to say.
SAM
 
  +
You don't have to say anything.
Well, where is Michael tonight?
 
  +
I'm really sorry we can't
CHARLIE
 
  +
be here for your birthday.
Oh, he shot himself last May.
 
  +
No, that's okay. I'm just sorry
Sam looks up. Shocked silent. Charlie is just stoned.
 
  +
you have to go back and visit your dad.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
  +
I'm in such a good mood
I kind of wish he'd left a note. You
 
  +
I don't think even he could ruin it.
know what I mean?
 
  +
I feel like I'm finally doing good.
(off her sad nod)
 
  +
You are.
Where's the bathroom?
 
  +
Well, what about you?
SAM
 
  +
When I met you,
It's up the stairs.
 
  +
you were this scared freshman.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Now look at you in that suit.
24.
 
  +
You're like a sexy English schoolboy.
Charlie wanders off. Sam watches him go.
 
  +
I saw Mary Elizabeth checking you out.
38 INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT 38
 
  +
No.
Charlie leaves the bathroom and stops when he sees himself in
 
  +
Innocent.
a large ornate mirror in the hallway.
 
  +
Worst kinda guys.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Never see you coming.
Charlie. Charlie. Weird.
 
  +
And parents love you.
Charlie wanders down the hallway, a little lost. He finds
 
  +
That's, like...
the door to the master bedroom and opens it. He sees Patrick
 
  +
extra danger.
and Brad Hays... kissing.
 
  +
Yeah, well, it hasn't worked so far.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
  +
You've never had a girlfriend?
Woah.
 
  +
Not even like a second grade Valentine?
PATRICK
 
  +
Nope.
Charlie?
 
  +
Have you ever kissed a girl?
BRAD HAYS
 
  +
No.
(nervous)
 
  +
What about you?
Who is that kid?
 
  +
Have I ever kissed a girl?
PATRICK
 
  +
No, no. Your first kiss.
Relax. Relax. He's a friend of mine.
 
  +
I was 11.
Stay here.
 
  +
His name was Robert.
Patrick closes the bedroom door and follows Charlie.
 
  +
He used to come over to
CHARLIE
 
  +
the house all the time.
I didn't see anything.
 
  +
Was he your first boyfriend?
PATRICK
 
  +
He was my...
I know you saw something, but it's okay.
 
  +
He was my dad's boss.
Patrick takes a quick peek to make sure no one is watching.
 
  +
You know, Charlie, I used to sleep
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
with guys who treated me like shit.
Listen, Brad doesn't want anyone to
 
  +
And get wasted all the time.
know... wait, are you baked?
 
  +
But now I feel like...
CHARLIE
 
  +
I have a chance. Like...
"Like a cake." That's what Bob said.
 
And how you can't have 3 on a match
+
I can even get into a real college.
  +
It's true. You can do it.
because they would find us. And everyone
 
  +
You really think so?
laughed, but I don't know what's funny.
 
  +
My aunt had that same thing
PATRICK
 
  +
done to her, too.
Okay, Charlie, listen. I need you to
 
  +
And she turned her life around.
promise that you're not going to say
 
  +
She must have been great.
anything to anyone about me and Brad.
 
  +
She was my favorite person in the world.
This has to be our little secret.
 
  +
Until now.
25.
 
  +
Charlie...
CHARLIE
 
  +
I know that you know I like Craig.
Our little secret. Agreed.
 
  +
But I want to forget about that
PATRICK
 
  +
for a minute, okay?
Thank you. We'll talk later.
 
  +
Okay.
CHARLIE
 
  +
I just wanna make sure
I look forward to that big talk.
 
  +
that the first person who kisses you...
Patrick laughs, goes back to the room, and closes the door.
 
  +
loves you.
39 INT. BOB'S BASEMENT - NIGHT 39
 
  +
Okay?
The party has thinned. Sam watches Charlie drink his
 
  +
Okay.
milkshake obsessively with Alice and Mary Elizabeth.
 
  +
I love you, Charlie.
CHARLIE
 
  +
I love you, too.
Isn't this the best milkshake, Alice?
 
  +
I wanna do Secret Santa forever!
It's even better than the first one.
 
  +
Have a good time at your mom's.
Patrick walks downstairs. Sam motions him over.
 
  +
Thanks. And, listen, Charlie.
SAM
 
  +
Because your birthday's on Christmas Eve...
(barely audible whisper)
 
  +
I figure you don't get that many presents?
I need to talk to you. Charlie just told
 
  +
I thought you should have my clock.
me that his best friend shot himself. I
 
  +
From the heart.
don't think he has any friends.
 
  +
Thank you, Patrick.
Patrick turns to look at Charlie. He feels so bad for the
 
  +
Bye.
kid. Patrick raises his plastic cup to the remaining crowd.
 
  +
Have a good one, guys.
PATRICK
 
  +
I love you guys!
Everyone. Raise your glasses to Charlie.
 
  +
Hey!
Charlie looks up. A little paranoid. Everyone is staring.
 
  +
Look who's here.
CHARLIE
 
  +
- Come here, little sister.
What did I do?
 
  +
- Hey, Chris.
PATRICK
 
  +
Hey, honey.
You didn't do anything. We just want to
 
  +
Ma, you look so thin.
toast our new friend.
 
  +
You. Look at you.
(off his look)
 
  +
Charlie.
You see things. And you understand.
 
  +
Come on, I got dinner ready.
You're a wallflower.
 
  +
- Happy birthday.
Charlie dries his sweaty hands on his pants. He looks around
 
  +
- Thanks.
the room at the nods and friendly faces.
 
  +
Let's eat.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
Make a wish, honey.
What is it? What's wrong?
 
  +
Can you see it, Charlie?
CHARLIE
 
  +
The luminaria is a landing strip
26.
 
  +
for Santa Claus.
PATRICK
 
  +
Why don't you keep an eye out for him,
Well, we didn't think there were any cool
 
  +
and I will be right back, okay?
people left to meet. So, everyone...
 
  +
Going to get your birthday present.
SAM & EVERYONE
 
  +
Hey.
To Charlie.
 
  +
God, I miss Mom's cooking.
They all drink. Sam approaches him. A knowing smile.
 
  +
You have no idea how good you have it.
SAM
 
  +
I'm actually starting to hate pizza.
Welcome to the island of misfit toys.
 
  +
So how you liking school?
Charlie smiles, and the soundtrack comes rushing up loud.
 
  +
Well, I'm no braniac like you or Candace.
SMASH CUT TO:
 
  +
I'm doing okay.
40 EXT./INT. SAM'S TRUCK - NIGHT 40
 
  +
Okay? You're playing in a bowl game.
The truck speeds on Highway 376 toward the Fort Pitt Tunnel.
 
  +
How are you feeling, Charlie?
Patrick drives. Sam cranks the radio, blaring "The Tunnel
 
  +
Good.
Song." The Star's anthem, "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" is our
 
  +
No, you know what I mean.
prototype for tone.
 
  +
Is it bad tonight?
SAM
 
  +
No.
My God. What is this song!?
 
  +
I'm not picturing things anymore.
PATRICK
 
  +
Or if I do, I can just shut it off.
Right? I have no idea.
 
  +
Well, you know, Mom did say
SAM
 
  +
that you have good friends now.
(to Charlie)
 
  +
And maybe if it does get bad again...
Have you heard it before?
 
  +
you can just talk to them. Yeah?
CHARLIE
 
  +
Yeah.
Never.
 
  +
Especially Sam. She's great.
SAM
 
  +
I'm gonna ask her out at New Year's.
(light bulb)
 
  +
I think the time is right now.
Wait! Let's go through the tunnel!
 
  +
- Body of Christ.
PATRICK
 
  +
- Amen.
Sam, it's freezing.
 
  +
How long does this take to work?
SAM
 
  +
Shovelin' snow?
Patrick, it's the perfect song!
 
  +
I have to get this driveway clean.
PATRICK
 
  +
And then...
No. Mama Patrick says no.
 
  +
I'm going to congratulate
SAM
 
  +
you on being happy.
Patrick, it's Sam. It's Sam talking to
 
you, I'm begging you to drive me--
+
'Cause you deserve it.
  +
You said that an hour ago.
27.
 
  +
Was that tonight?
PATRICK
 
  +
Oh, I just...
(laughing)
 
  +
saw this tree, but it was a dragon.
Alright! I concede!
 
  +
Then it was a tree again
Sam climbs through the window to the flat bed. She grips the
 
  +
and it just lied to me.
flood lights to steady herself as she stands.
 
  +
Okay, Charlie,
CHARLIE
 
  +
don't freak out. Give me this.
What is she doing?
 
  +
Calm down.
PATRICK
 
  +
Look up.
Don't worry. She does it all the time.
 
  +
Isn't it quiet?
SAM
 
  +
Sam, do you think if people knew...
Turn it up!
 
  +
how crazy you really were,
PATRICK
 
  +
no one would ever talk to you?
You got it, your highness.
 
  +
All the time.
Patrick turns up the volume and drums on the steering wheel,
 
  +
So you wanna wear these glasses?
just as the truck flies into...
 
  +
They'll protect you.
THE TUNNEL
 
  +
It's gonna be our little secret.
We go behind the truck. Rising as Sam puts her arms in the
 
  +
Did your older friends pressure you?
air. The image moves to Charlie's point of view, rising from
 
  +
No one pressured me, Officer.
Sam's feet up her shivering legs. Past the band-aid on her
 
  +
I would never do drugs. Never.
right knee. To Sam's face as she looks down. Into the
 
  +
Then how did you happen to be passed out
camera. Right at us. For we are now...
 
  +
on the ground at 6:00 in the morning?
Charlie, looking up at Sam, so in love with this free-spirit.
 
  +
Well, I... I was really tired.
So happy to have friends. Happy to be alive. Charlie gets
 
  +
And I was feeling feverish...
this look on his face. Patrick notices and smiles.
 
  +
so I went outside
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
for a walk just to get some cold air.
What?
 
  +
I started seeing things, so I passed out.
CHARLIE
 
  +
You're seeing things again, Charlie?
I feel infinite.
 
  +
Not really.
The truck flies out of the Fort Pitt Tunnel onto the bridge.
 
  +
Nice suit.
Patrick and Charlie laugh as Sam raises her arms. Free and
 
  +
It was a Christmas present.
young and alive on the greatest night of Charlie's life.
 
  +
Did you have fun on your break?
CUT TO:
 
  +
More fun than you're gonna
41 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON 41
 
  +
have today, Sinatra.
We see Charlie proudly put a Smiths poster on his wall next
 
  +
Nice look, jag-off.
to photos of his new friends. He dances to his desk,
 
  +
I've called him 30 times.
listening to Air Supply's "All Out of Love" on his Walkman.
 
  +
What are we supposed to do?
28.
 
  +
We're going on in 10 minutes.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
- They said in health class-
Dear Friend, I'm sorry I haven't written
 
  +
- Hello?
for awhile, but I've been trying hard not
 
  +
They say that about
to be a loser.
 
  +
L.S.D.just to scare you.
As the lyrics begin, Charlie unabashedly lip-synchs...
 
  +
- Are you sure? You know I've seen...
AIR SUPPLY
 
  +
- Charlie, you're fine, man.
I'm lying alone with my head on the
 
  +
Guys, we have an emergency.
phone, thinking of you 'til it hurts.
 
  +
Craig has flaked out on us again.
Charlie sits at his desk, writing and lip-synching.
 
  +
So I need a Rocky.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Brad?
For example, I am trying to participate
 
  +
No. No way. No. I'm not...
by listening to Sam's collection of big
 
  +
There's people out there. No.
rock ballads and thinking about love.
 
  +
Charlie, take off your clothes.
Sam says they are kitschy and brilliant.
 
  +
Then if anything grows
I completely agree.
 
  +
While you pose
42 INT. BILL'S CLASSROOM - MORNING 42
 
  +
I'll oil you up and rub you down
As the students file out, Charlie hands his paper to Bill in
 
  +
Down, down, down
exchange for a beat up copy of The Great Gatsby.
 
  +
And that's just one small fraction
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
of the main attraction
I am also studying extra books outside of
 
  +
You need a friendly hand
class. As it turns out, Mr. Anderson is
 
  +
And I need action
a writer. He even had a play put up in
 
  +
Toucha toucha
New York once, which I think is very
 
  +
toucha touch me
impressive. He and his wife might go
 
  +
I wanna be dirty
back there after this year. I know this
 
  +
Thrill me, chill me,
is selfish, but I really hope he doesn't.
 
  +
fulfill me
Charlie pauses in the doorway and turns back to look at Bill.
 
  +
Creature of the night
43 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 43
 
  +
Maybe I can join the cast
Charlie turns from the lunch line with The Great Gatsby on
 
  +
as an alternate or something.
his tray. He looks at the gang at their table. He sits with
 
  +
Well, we're filled up now...
them as they debate the design of this month's fanzine.
 
  +
but they're gonna
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
need people when we go to college.
My favorite time, though, is lunch because
 
  +
We could put in a good word for you.
I get to see Sam and Patrick. We spend
 
  +
That'd be great. Thanks.
the time working on Mary Elizabeth's
 
  +
Yeah.
fanzine about music and The Rocky Horror
 
  +
Charlie...
Picture Show. It's called Punk Rocky.
 
  +
Have you heard of the Sadie Hawkins dance?
Mary Elizabeth is really interesting
 
  +
The one where the girl asks the guy?
because she is a Buddhist and a punk, but
 
  +
Obviously, it is completely stupid.
somehow she always acts like my father at
 
  +
And sexist. I mean, it's like
the end of a "long day."
 
  +
"Hey, thanks for the crumb."
29.
 
  +
And normally, I would just blow it off,
44 INT. LIBRARY - AFTERNOON 44
 
  +
because school dances suck torture.
The xerox spits out copies of PUNK ROCKY! Halloween Issue!
 
  +
But, you know, it's my last year and...
Alice staples while Mary Elizabeth works her like a sled dog.
 
  +
Would you maybe wanna go with me?
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
You wanna go with me?
Her best friend Alice loves vampires and
 
  +
Yeah, I'm sick of macho guys.
wants to go to film school. She also
 
  +
Plus you looked really
steals jeans from the mall. I don't know
 
  +
cute in your costume.
why because her family is rich, but I'm
 
  +
So what do you say?
trying not to be judgemental. Especially
 
  +
You must be Mary Elizabeth.
since I know how they were all there for
 
  +
Yes.
Patrick last year. Patrick never likes
 
  +
It's so nice to meet you.
to be serious, so it took me awhile to
 
  +
You, too, Mrs. Kelmeckis.
get what happened.
 
  +
Charlie tells me you're a Buddhist.
Sam and Alice laugh when Patrick begins stapling Mary
 
  +
- Please, come in.
Elizabeth's fanzines to within an inch of their life.
 
  +
- Okay.
[Note: The following sequence will come from Charlie's POV of
 
  +
A little closer together.
Patrick and Brad's activities over a weekend.]
 
  +
That looks nice.
45 EXT. FOOTBALL STADIUM - NIGHT 45
 
  +
Buddhist, I need you to
Brad Hays leads the football team through the banner onto the
 
  +
smile a little bit more.
field as Charlie, Patrick, and Sam cheer. Moments later,
 
  +
There you go. Nice.
Brad pulls his helmet on and rushes onto the field.
 
  +
Hey.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Hey.
When he was a junior, Patrick started
 
  +
Are you having a good time?
seeing Brad on the weekends in secret. I
 
  +
Not really. How about you?
guess it was hard, too, because Brad had
 
  +
I mean, I don't know.
to get drunk every time they fooled
 
  +
It's my first date, I don't
around.
 
  +
have much to compare it to.
46 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 46
 
  +
You're doing fine.
Patrick whispers while the gang studies their SAT books.
 
  +
Sorry Craig couldn't come.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
Yeah. He said he didn't want to go to
Then, Monday in school, Brad would say,
 
  +
some stupid high school dance.
"Man, I was so wasted. I don't remember
 
  +
I can't say I blame him really.
a thing." This went on for 7 months.
 
  +
I don't know.
47 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CATHOLIC CHURCH - MORNING 47
 
  +
If you like it, he should come.
Charlie sits with his family in itchy church clothes. He
 
  +
Thanks, Charlie.
turns to see Brad with his father and mother. Proper family.
 
  +
Have a beautiful first date.
Brad's dad gives him a pat on the back.
 
  +
You deserve it.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
I'll try not to make you too jealous.
When they finally did it, Brad said he
 
  +
Now just let it breathe.
loved Patrick. Then, he started to cry.
 
  +
It sure is a nice house.
30.
 
  +
Thanks.
saying his dad would kill him. And
 
  +
Don't you just love old music?
saying he was going to hell.
 
  +
Yeah.
48 INT. LIBRARY - DAY 48
 
  +
Good. 'Cause I made you a mix of it.
We see Patrick and Brad walking in the library. They reach
 
  +
I'd love to expose you
the stacks, and just when it looks like they'll speak, they
 
  +
to great things like...
simply... PASS EACH OTHER WITHOUT A WORD.
 
  +
Billie Holiday and foreign films.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
This merlot is really fancy.
Patrick was eventually able to help Brad
 
  +
Yeah. My dad collects wine,
get sober. I asked Patrick if he felt
 
  +
but he doesn't drink.
sad that he had to keep it a secret, and
 
  +
That's kinda weird, isn't it?
he said no because at least now, Brad
 
  +
I guess. Where are your parents?
doesn't have to get drunk to love him.
 
  +
Their club's hosting
Brad sits down with his football pals. Patrick joins Charlie
 
  +
a cotillion or something racist.
and Sam at their table. Charlie looks over at Sam, studying
 
  +
They'll be gone all night.
hard for her SAT's.
 
  +
Sure is a nice fire.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
  +
Yeah.
I think that I understand because I
 
  +
When I'm done being a lobbyist...
really like Sam. I asked my sister about
 
  +
I wanna move to a house
her, and she said that when Sam was a
 
  +
like this in Cape Cod.
freshman, the upper classmen used to get
 
  +
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
her drunk at parties. I guess she had a
 
  +
Yeah.
reputation. But I don't care. I'd hate
 
  +
Your heart is beating really fast.
for her to judge me based on what I used
 
  +
Is it?
to be like.
 
  +
Here. Feel.
49 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DUSK 49
 
  +
Charlie?
We see Charlie making a mix tape on his boom box.
 
  +
Do you like me?
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
  +
You know what I mean.
So, I've been making her a mix tape so
 
  +
I think so.
she will know how I feel.
 
  +
Don't be nervous.
The two cassettes run. The song is just about to finish
 
  +
Charlie.
when... the side runs out of tape and snaps off.
 
  +
I didn't know how tonight
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
  +
was gonna go, but...
Ah, shit!
 
  +
It's really nice, isn't it?
50 EXT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - MIDNIGHT 50
 
  +
Yeah.
The marquee announces it's time for the...
 
  +
I just can't believe it.
51 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - MIDNIGHT 51
 
  +
You, of all people.
... Rocky Horror Picture Show! The ROCKY EMCEE, dressed as
 
  +
I just can't believe you're my boyfriend.
Riff Raff, whips the crowd into a frenzy.
 
  +
Shit! My parents! Shit!
31.
 
  +
- Here, zip this up.
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
  +
- Okay. No, I got this.
ROCKY EMCEE
 
  +
Just zip it up like a normal zipper!
Gimme an R! Gimme an O!
 
  +
It's stuck. It's just...
Gimme a C! Gimme a K! Gimme
 
  +
Thank you.
a Y! What's that spell!?
 
  +
See you Monday.
CROWD
 
  +
Dear friend...
R-O-C-K-Y! Rocky! Rocky!
 
  +
sorry I haven't written for a while...
Rocky!
 
  +
but things are a total disaster.
The crowd cheers! Charlie claps from the front row.
 
  +
We're literally making
52 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - LATER 52
 
  +
out and I'm in my bra...
The movie is in full swing. Charlie watches Sam as Janet in
 
  +
Hello!
the Floor Show. Sam mimics Susan Sarandon perfectly.
 
  +
And the front door opens, it's my parents!
Especially the body. She winks at Charlie as "Fanfare/Don't
 
  +
I probably should have been honest about...
Dream It" begins and arriving regally as Frank 'n Furter in
 
  +
how I didn't want to go out with
full drag is... Patrick.
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth after Sadie's, but...
PATRICK
 
  +
I really didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Whatever happened to Fae Wray? That
 
  +
You see, Mary Elizabeth
delicate, satin draped frame? As it clung
 
  +
is a really nice person...
to her thigh, how I started to cry 'cause
 
  +
underneath the part of
I wanted to be dressed just the same.
 
  +
her that hates everyone.
Patrick is a rock star. He approaches Charlie. Putting his
 
  +
Hey!
ass in his face. Charlie is freaked out and laughing!
 
  +
And since I heard that
Especially when he sees Brad, alone in the back, smiling.
 
  +
having a girlfriend makes you happy...
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
I tried hard to love her like I love Sam.
Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
 
  +
Can you believe it's almost
Swim the warm waters of sins of the
 
  +
our 2-week anniversary?
flesh. Erotic nightmares beyond any
 
  +
Yeah, I know.
measure. And sensual daydreams to
 
  +
So I took her on double dates.
treasure forever. Can't you just see it?
 
  +
First foreign film.
Woah oh oh!
 
  +
Do you want butter on your popcorn?
Charlie stops laughing when the orgy begins between Patrick,
 
  +
Vegans don't eat butter.
Mary Elizabeth (as Columbia), CRAIG (21), an art student with
 
  +
And I tried not to mind
a model's body (as Rocky)... and of course... Sam. Charlie
 
  +
that she loves to hold hands...
watches Sam until he can't take his lust (or guilt).
 
  +
even when her hands are sweaty.
53 INT. CRAIG'S LOFT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT 53
 
  +
And I had to admit something
We hear the chorus of "Don't Dream It, Be It" as Charlie
 
  +
really upsetting, but...
watches all of the exciting cast members at the after-show
 
  +
I'm tired of touching her boobs.
party. Charlie sees a photo of Sam's naked back on the wall
 
  +
I thought maybe if she would just let me
of Craig's loft. Very arty. Very black & white. Charlie's
 
  +
pick the make-out music...
lust (and guilt) are now at 11. Alice looks at the photo.
 
  +
once in a while, we might have a chance.
ALICE
 
  +
And maybe if she didn't put down the books
It's gorgeous, Craig. What did you use?
 
  +
that Mr. Anderson gives me.
Craig is impressive to high school kids. He's a little
 
  +
Walden.
pretentious. But his art school life. His red wine. His
 
  +
I read this in 7th grade.
loft. Wow. Right now, he holds court in the wine line.
 
  +
I would have called it On Boring Pond.
32.
 
  +
Or if she would stop calling me the minute
CRAIG
 
  +
I get home from school...
Color film, but black and white paper for
 
  +
when I have absolutely nothing to talk
the printing. My professor gave me an
 
  +
about other than the bus ride home.
"A," but for the wrong reasons. Most of
 
  +
Somehow she finds new things to say.
them are idiots. You'll see what I mean
 
  +
That dairy just sits with you.
when you get to college. How were your
 
  +
You know, it walks with you.
SAT's by the way?
 
  +
She's on the phone right now?
ALICE
 
  +
Charlie, you've gotta break up with her.
(worried)
 
  +
I can do that?
1150. I think I'll get into NYU.
 
  +
For Christ's sake, I need to use the phone.
CRAIG
 
  +
I got you this book.
Yeah, I hope so.
 
  +
It's really how I became a vegan.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
I know I should have been honest...
(cruel to Alice)
 
  +
but I was getting so mad,
1490. Harvard. Face!
 
  +
it was starting to scare me.
54 INT. CRAIG'S LOFT APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 54
 
  +
I mean the way they treat those-
Charlie sees Sam alone on the loft steps. She looks a little
 
  +
I just wish I could have
down. He hands Sam a plastic cup and sits next to her.
 
  +
found another way to break up.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth, can I talk to you...
Hey. Are you okay?
 
  +
Charlie, please don't interrupt.
SAM
 
  +
You know I hate that.
Yeah. Yeah. But I got my SAT results
 
  +
In hindsight, I probably
back. Oops.
 
  +
could not have picked...
CHARLIE
 
  +
a worse way to be honest with
You can take them again.
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth.
SAM
 
  +
Truth or dare?
Yeah, it's just if I'm going to Penn
 
  +
Who are you talking to?
State main campus, I have to do much
 
  +
I dare you to kiss Alice.
better. I wish I would have studied
 
  +
Gird your loins, procreator.
freshman year. I was a bit of a mess.
 
  +
Oh, my God.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth, Samantha told me
I'll help you study for the next one.
 
  +
that you got into Harvard. Congratulations.
SAM
 
  +
Thank you. This one still
Will you?
 
  +
hasn't gotten me flowers.
CHARLIE
 
  +
But I forgive you.
Yeah, of course.
 
  +
Hey, don't worry about Penn State.
SAM
 
  +
You're just wait-listed.
Thanks, Charlie.
 
  +
Yeah.
Charlie summons his courage. He hands her the mix tape.
 
  +
You guys are about to miss
33.
 
  +
some severely hot fag-on-goth action.
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
Get a room.
What's this?
 
  +
You're a monster.
CHARLIE
 
  +
My turn. Let's see.
Just a mix tape. No big deal. My
 
  +
Let's think. Charlie.
parents have a pretty good stereo. It's
 
  +
Truth.
all about that night in the tunnel. I
 
  +
How's your first relationship going?
couldn't find that song we were listening
 
  +
It's so bad...
to, but I'm still searching for it, so--
 
  +
that I keep fantasizing
SAM
 
  +
that one of us is dying of cancer.
It's okay. These are great. You have
 
  +
So that I don't have to break up with her.
really good taste, Charlie.
 
  +
Charlie? Truth or dare?
CHARLIE
 
  +
Hello?
Really?
 
  +
Dare.
SAM
 
  +
Okay, I dare you
Yeah. Way better than me as a freshman.
 
I used to listen to the worst top 40.
+
to kiss the prettiest girl in the room...
  +
on the lips.
CHARLIE
 
  +
And notice I charitably said
No.
 
  +
"girl" and not "person"...
SAM
 
  +
because, let's face it,
Yeah, I did. But then I heard this old
 
  +
I'd smoke all you bitches.
song. Pearly Dew Drops Drop. And I
 
  +
Oh, that's fucked up.
thought someday I would be at a party in
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth.
college or something. And I'd look up
 
  +
I'm so sorry.
and see this person across the room. And
 
  +
It was a mistake, I'm sorry.
from that moment, I'd know everything was
 
  +
Sam? Sam?
going to be okay. You know what I mean?
 
  +
I really didn't mean anything by it.
CHARLIE
 
  +
I'm sorry.
(devastated in love)
 
  +
What the hell is wrong with you?
Yeah.
 
  +
I should go back and apologize.
55 INT. CRAIG'S LOFT APARTMENT - LATER 55
 
  +
Charlie, trust me,
The tape revolves in the stereo, playing a beautiful ballad.
 
  +
you don't wanna go back in there.
Charlie watches Sam sway to his music like a serenade. Like
 
  +
I'm really sorry.
she is dancing with him. But she isn't. A wider angle
 
  +
I didn't mean to do anything.
reveals that she is slow dancing with... Craig.
 
  +
I know you didn't.
Charlie is 15 year old CRUSHED. No filter. Just feeling.
 
  +
But, look-
Patrick, Alice, and Mary Elizabeth watch Sam across the room.
 
  +
I hate to be the one to break this...
ALICE
 
  +
but there's history with
So, what do you think?
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth and Sam.
PATRICK
 
  +
Other guys and things that have
I don't know.
 
  +
nothing to do with you.
34.
 
  +
It's best if you just
ALICE
 
  +
stay away for a while.
I hope it works out. Craig would be a
 
  +
Oh, okay.
big step up from her last boyfriend.
 
  +
How long do you think?
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Charlie.
No, shit. Who could forget Mr. Car Wash
 
  +
Come on, get dressed.
Loser?
 
  +
You're gonna be late for Easter Mass.
PATRICK
 
  +
I'll be there in a minute.
I just hope she stops playing dumb with
 
  +
Our Father,
these guys. I keep telling her... don't
 
  +
who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
make yourself small. You can't save
 
  +
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be
anybody.
 
  +
done on earth as it is in heaven.
Craig dips a smiling Sam as the song ends. Sam goes into the
 
  +
Give us this day our daily bread...
kitchen. Craig approaches Charlie. Turns off his mix tape.
 
  +
and forgive us our trespasses...
CRAIG
 
  +
as we forgive those who
Man, your mix is morbidly sad, kid. How
 
  +
trespass against us.
about something a little more upbeat?
 
  +
And lead us not into temptation,
Craig grabs a record from the pile and slaps it down.
 
  +
but deliver us...
CRAIG (CONT'D)
 
  +
Mary Elizabeth, I've been listening
Sam tells me you want to be a writer.
 
  +
to the Billie Holiday CD every night.
CHARLIE
 
  +
It's too late, Charlie.
Yeah.
 
  +
I know.
ALICE
 
  +
I just feel really bad about what I did.
Don't you write poetry, Craig?
 
  +
I just get so messed up inside.
CRAIG
 
  +
Like I'm not there or something.
No. Poetry writes me. You know?
 
  +
Tell it to someone who cares.
Charlie sighs. Craig's upbeat song begins to play. He
 
  +
Look, I know. I'm sorry.
dances over to Sam. Charlie's heart breaks as he watches Sam
 
  +
Just we've all become such good friends.
hug on Craig.
 
  +
Good friends?
56 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY 56
 
  +
Do you mean the people
In a mirror image, Candace hugs on Derek near the lockers.
 
  +
that I've known since kindergarten...
Charlie closes his own locker and moves down the hall.
 
  +
and you've known for six months?
57 INT. ENGLISH CLASS - MORNING 57
 
  +
Those good friends?
The bell rings. Charlie sets down his On the Road paper.
 
  +
Yeah, I mean, I just don't wanna do
BILL
 
  +
anything to ruin our relationship.
Wow. That was fast. You want another
 
  +
It's ruined. Okay?
one?
 
  +
So stop calling everyone.
35.
 
  +
Stop embarrassing yourself.
Charlie nods. Bill smiles and reaches into his desk. He
 
  +
Okay, I will. Good...
hands Charlie a copy of A Separate Piece. Charlie takes the
 
  +
- Something's wrong with me.
book and starts to walk out, but he turns back.
 
  +
- Don't worry about it.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Hey, have you heard from Patrick?
Mr. Anderson... can I ask you something?
 
  +
No, he told me to stay away.
BILL
 
  +
You don't know.
Yeah.
 
  +
Why? Why? What happened?
CHARLIE
 
  +
Brad's father caught them together.
Why do nice people choose the wrong
 
  +
Some kids jumped him outside the O.
people to date?
 
  +
No, it was some kids from North Hills.
BILL
 
  +
Did you see his face?
Are we talking about anyone specific?
 
  +
That's not what I heard.
Charlie nods. Bill looks straight at him. Not preaching.
 
  +
Are you okay?
Coming from a history of personal experience and pain.
 
  +
Not now, Charlie. I'm sorry.
BILL (CONT'D)
 
  +
Hey, Nothing.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
 
  +
Oops. Sorry, Nothing.
CHARLIE
 
  +
You gonna do anything?
Can we make them know they deserve more?
 
  +
What are you talking about?
BILL
 
  +
I'm talking about
We can try.
 
  +
your pet ape just tripped me.
Charlie smiles.
 
  +
Gonna say something?
58 INT. KINGS FAMILY RESTAURANT - MORNING 58
 
  +
- Why would I?
Charlie waits nervously at a booth. He sees Sam enter. He
 
  +
- You know why.
fixes his hair, then pretends to read his SAT PREP BOOK.
 
  +
This is pathetic, man. Your fixation on me.
SAM
 
  +
Do you want your friends
Hey, Charlie.
 
  +
to know how you got those bruises? Really?
CHARLIE
 
  +
I got jumped in a parking lot.
Hey, Sam. I didn't see you come in. You
 
  +
Where? Schenley Park?
want to work on probabilities and
 
  +
Do you guys know about Schenley Park?
statistics?
 
  +
- Do your friends know...
Sam nods. They open their books, and a Christmas song
 
  +
- I don't know what kinda sick shit...
begins. In a quick passage of time, we see them study next
 
  +
you're trying to pull,
to Halloween decorations. Then, Thanksgiving. And finally,
 
  +
but you better walk away right now.
Christmas decorations.
 
  +
Nothing.
59 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 59
 
  +
Fine.
The song continues. Charlie's mom and sister hang the
 
  +
Say hi to your dad for me.
Christmas ornaments as Charlie helps his dad find that "one
 
  +
Whatever, faggot.
36.
 
  +
- What did you just call me?
CHARLIE
 
  +
- Just called you a faggot.
Hey, dad. Can I have 30 dollars?
 
  +
Say that shit again! Say that shit again!
FATHER
 
  +
It's Patrick!
(old joke)
 
  +
Leave him alone!
20 dollars? What do you want 10 dollars
 
  +
Sam!
for?
 
  +
Stop! Leave him! Stop!
CHARLIE
 
  +
Stop!
Sam is doing secret santa. It's her
 
  +
Touch my friends again and I'll blind you.
favorite thing in the world. Please.
 
  +
Charlie?
Charlie's father reaches into his pocket and hands Charlie a
 
  +
Yeah?
bill. It's a fifty. Dad winks, in a great mood.
 
  +
Thanks for stopping 'em.
FATHER
 
  +
Sure, Brad.
Have fun.
 
  +
How you doing, Charlie?
CHARLIE
 
  +
I don't know.
Thanks.
 
  +
I keep trying, but I can't
60 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - DAY 60
 
  +
really remember what I did.
Lockers are opened by Charlie. Sam. Patrick. Wrapped gifts
 
  +
Do you want me to tell you?
are deposited. Mischief smiles. Lockers closed. Everyone
 
  +
Yeah.
loves getting their presents except Charlie - who got socks.
 
  +
You saved my brother.
61 INT. BILL'S CLASSROOM - MORNING 61
 
  +
That's what you did.
Bill hands Charlie a well worn copy of The Catcher in the
 
  +
So you're not scared of me?
Rye. He smiles.
 
  +
No.
BILL
 
  +
Can we be friends again?
Charlie... this was my favorite book
 
  +
Of course.
growing up. This is my copy, but I want
 
  +
Come on.
you to have it.
 
  +
Let's go be psychos together.
CHARLIE
 
  +
I'm dating Peter now.
Thanks.
 
  +
He's in college with Craig.
BILL
 
  +
He's opinionated. We have
Have a great Christmas break.
 
  +
intellectual debates.
CHARLIE
 
You too, Mr. Anderson.
+
You were very sweet
  +
but our relationship was too one-sided.
62 INT. SHOP CLASS - DAY 62
 
  +
I know this is hard for you.
Mr. Callahan, the shop teacher, looks at a Sad Sack Girl's
 
  +
I'm just glad that you're happy.
clock. He takes a moment, and then...
 
  +
Okay.
MR. CALLAHAN
 
  +
Hey, Craig, Sam will be down. Soon.
Terrible stain.
 
  +
We're gonna miss the movie.
37.
 
  +
Yeah, I'll go put some pep in her step.
He moves to Charlie's dad's amazing clock. He hands Charlie
 
  +
Don't worry.
an A on a piece of paper.
 
  +
Hello?
MR. CALLAHAN (CONT'D)
 
  +
Hey. Do you wanna get out of here?
That's pretty good, Charlie.
 
  +
Sure, Patrick.
Mr. Callahan moves to Patrick's SHITTY WOODEN CLOCK. No
 
  +
I'll tell you something, Charlie...
stain. No finish. Lop-sided. The ugliest clock you've ever
 
  +
I feel good. You know what I mean?
seen in your life.
 
  +
Maybe tomorrow I'll take you
MR. CALLAHAN (CONT'D)
 
  +
to this karaoke place downtown.
You've got to be kidding me.
 
  +
And this club off the Strip.
PATRICK
 
  +
They don't card.
If you fail me, you get me next semester.
 
  +
And the Schenley Park scene.
Mr. Callahan writes a grade and slaps it down.
 
  +
You have to see the Fruit Loop
63 EXT. WEST END OVERLOOK - NIGHT 63
 
  +
at least one time.
The song continues as Patrick holds up the grade. C minus!
 
  +
Oh, my God. My life is officially
Charlie and Sam cheer as Patrick screams at the top of his
 
  +
an after-school special.
lungs...
 
  +
Son of a bitch!
PATRICK
 
  +
It really is.
Woo! C Minus! It's over! It's over!
 
  +
It so is.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am below average!
 
  +
So, you ever hear the
SAM
 
  +
one about Lily Miller?
Below average!
 
  +
I don't know.
Patrick screams at the city in the distance. Below average!
 
  +
Really?
64 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT 64
 
  +
I thought your brother would have told you.
We move to find Sam, holding her SAT score up to the group.
 
  +
It's a classic.
SAM
 
  +
Maybe.
Hey, guys. 1210.
 
  +
Okay, Lily comes here
Everyone cheers. Sam hugs Charlie.
 
  +
one night with this guy Parker.
65 INT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - GAMES ROOM - NIGHT 65
 
  +
And this was to be the night
Charlie carries Sam on his shoulders past the Christmas Tree.
 
  +
that they were gonna lose their virginity.
Sam wears a Santa Hat like a hot elf.
 
  +
So she did it really proper.
SAM
 
  +
She packed a picnic.
No more applications! No more SAT's!
 
  +
Stole a bottle of wine.
Thank you, Charlie!
 
  +
Everything was perfect
They pass Mary Elizabeth as she opens her final present.
 
  +
and they're just about to "do it."
38.
 
  +
When they realize they forgot the condoms.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
- So what do you think happened?
Multiple pairs of blue jeans. Wow. This
 
  +
- I don't know.
is a really tough one, but I'm going to
 
  +
They did it with one of the sandwich bags.
have to guess... Alice.
 
  +
Oh, that's disgusting!
Alice smiles. Bob nudges her. Guilty as charged. Mary
 
  +
Yes, it is.
Elizabeth pulls one last item out of the gift bag.
 
  +
Come on! Let's keep the train rolling.
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
  +
Suburban legend, Charlie.
Wait, guys... a receipt! She actually
 
  +
Well...
paid!
 
  +
There's this girl named Second Base Stace.
PATRICK
 
  +
And, well, she had boobs in 4th grade.
Impossible!
 
  +
Mosquito bites. Promising. Go.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
And she let some of the guys feel them.
I'm so touched.
 
  +
- That's your suburban legend?
Alice laughs. Patrick pours everyone brandy. The kids look
 
  +
- Yeah.
ridiculous, but they don't feel ridiculous.
 
  +
- Did you at least cop a feel?
CHARLIE
 
  +
- No.
Where's Craig?
 
  +
No. Of course not. You went home...
SAM
 
  +
listened to "Asleep," wrote a poem...
He went home to Connecticut. He'll be
 
  +
Fine. Okay. Your turn.
back for New Year's Eve.
 
  +
Yeah. I've got one.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Well...
I'm sorry we won't be seeing him tonight.
 
  +
there's this one guy.
Sam nods, then turns. Charlie is delighted. No Craig. The
 
  +
Queer as a 3-dollar bill.
kids settle in the living room in front of the fire.
 
  +
The guy's father doesn't
SAM
 
  +
know about his son.
Alright, big brother by 3 weeks. Who's
 
  +
So he comes into the basement one night
your secret santa?
 
  +
when he's supposed to be out of town.
PATRICK
 
  +
Catches his son with another boy.
I'll tell you, Sam. This one's tough. I
 
  +
So he starts beating him.
have received a harmonica, a magnetic
 
  +
But not like the slap kind.
poetry set, a book about Harvey Milk, and
 
  +
Like, the real kind.
a mix with the song "Asleep" on it...
 
  +
And the boyfriend says,
twice.
 
  +
"Stop. You're killing him."
Charlie starts snickering. He can't help himself.
 
  +
But the son just yells, "Get out."
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
  +
And eventually...
I mean, I have no idea. This collection
 
  +
the boyfriend just did.
of presents is so gay that I think I must
 
  +
Why can't you save anybody?
have given them to myself. But despite
 
  +
I don't know.
that distinct possibility, I'm going to
 
  +
Forget it.
have to go with... drum roll... Charlie.
 
  +
I'm free now, right?
39.
 
  +
I could meet
Charlie holds up his hands. Yay! They all cheer.
 
  +
the love of my life any second.
SAM
 
  +
Things will be different
Alright, Charlie... it's your turn.
 
  +
now and that's good.
Charlie and Patrick switch places. Charlie stands.
 
  +
I just need to meet a good guy.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Yeah.
Okay. Uh, I have received socks, pants,
 
  +
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
a shirt, and a belt. I was ordered to
 
  +
It's all right.
wear them all tonight. So, I'm guessing
 
  +
I've been spending a lot
my secret santa is Mary Elizabeth.
 
  +
of time with Patrick.
PATRICK
 
  +
He begins every night really excited.
Huh. Now, why do you say that?
 
  +
He always says he feels free
CHARLIE
 
  +
and tonight is his destiny.
I don't know. She bosses people around
 
  +
But after a while he runs out of things
sometimes.
 
  +
to keep himself numb.
The gang cracks up. Mary Elizabeth is pissed.
 
  +
And Sam got her letter from Penn State.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
"We will require you to take
What the hell is wrong with you?
 
  +
our summer session...
CHARLIE
 
  +
at the main campus immediately following
Sorry.
 
  +
your high school graduation."
PATRICK
 
  +
She got in, Charlie.
Well, you'll be surprised to know that
 
  +
After that, all Patrick could talk about
your secret santa is actually... me.
 
  +
was college and all their futures.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Alice did get into NYU film school.
You got me clothes? Why?
 
  +
Patrick is going to the
PATRICK
 
  +
University of Washington...
Because all the great writers used to
 
  +
because he wants to be
wear great suits. Your last present is
 
  +
near the music in Seattle.
on a towel rack in the bathroom. Delve
 
  +
But he wasn't going to leave without
into our facilities. Emerge a star.
 
  +
organizing the best senior prank ever.
Charlie gives Sam a sack of presents.
 
  +
Sam is going away right after graduation.
CHARLIE
 
  +
It all feels very exciting.
Can you hand these out while I'm gone?
 
  +
I just wish it were happening to me.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
Especially because, ever since I
Wait a second. There's only secret santa
 
  +
blacked out in the cafeteria...
presents. There are rules, Charlie.
 
  +
it's been getting worse.
PATRICK
 
  +
And I can't turn it off this time.
Mary Elizabeth, why are you trying to eat
 
  +
All right, guys, you wanna pass your
Christmas? Hand them out, Sam.
 
  +
copies of Gatsby up to the front, please.
40.
 
  +
And I know it's the last day...
Sam gives out the presents. The group rips them open. Alice
 
  +
but if we could keep it to a dull roar,
looks at a book about Martin Scorsese with the inscription...
 
  +
I'd appreciate it.
ALICE
 
  +
Thank you.
"Alice, I know you'll get into NYU."
 
  +
Guy. Guys. Thank you for such a great year.
Alice turns to Mary Elizabeth who holds up a card with...
 
  +
I had a blast. I hope you did, too.
MARY ELIZABETH
 
  +
And I hope you have
40 dollars.
 
  +
a great time this summer on your vacations.
(reads card)
 
  +
Now who here is gonna read
"To print Punk Rocky in color next time."
 
  +
for pleasure this summer?
Bob blows soap bubbles into the air. Stoned. Mesmerized.
 
  +
Charlie.
BOB
 
  +
Very good.
He knows me. He really knows me.
 
  +
Have a good summer.
Sam looks at her present. An old 45 record of The Beatles
 
  +
Last day.
classic "Something" with a card. She reads the card. Holds
 
  +
Yeah.
it to her chest. Very moved.
 
  +
So I know it's none of my business,
SAM
 
  +
but have you decided?
Come on out, Charlie.
 
  +
Are you going to New York?
They all chime in. "Let's go, young man!" "Charlie!
 
  +
Well...
Charlie!" Charlie opens the door off camera, and we see his
 
  +
My wife and I like it here.
entrance play off their faces. The reverse angle reveals...
 
  +
And I think I might be better
Charlie dressed in his suit. Like the best of English mods
 
  +
at teaching than writing.
in the 60's. For those of you who know the book, this is the
 
  +
You know, Charlie, I was thinking that...
cover. They all clap. It's magic.
 
  +
maybe I could still give
PATRICK
 
  +
you books next year.
Yeah! What a display of man I have ever
 
  +
Yeah. Yeah.
seen!
 
  +
I think you could write
Sam and Charlie look at each and smile.
 
  +
one of them one day.
66 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - LATER 66
 
  +
- Really?
The door opens. Sam and Charlie walk into the dark room.
 
  +
- I do.
CHARLIE
 
  +
You're the best teacher I've ever had.
Where are we going?
 
  +
Thank you.
SAM
 
  +
Ten, nine, eight...
It's a surprise.
 
  +
seven, six, five...
Sam flips the switch, bathing the room in light. Sam's room
 
  +
four, three, two, one.
is so cool. A shrine to music. A xerox that says "The
 
  +
Dear friend...
Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves." Virgin Mary
 
  +
I wanted to tell you about us running.
icons. Snow globes. Kitsch.
 
  +
There was this beautiful sunset.
41.
 
  +
And just a few hours
CHARLIE
 
  +
before, everyone I love...
Is this your room? It's so cool.
 
  +
had their last day of high school ever.
SAM
 
  +
I was happy because they were happy...
Thanks.
 
  +
even though I counted and I have...
Sam points to a green box with a red ribbon on her desk.
 
  +
I kept imagining
CHARLIE
 
  +
what school would be like without them...
You got me a present?
 
  +
as they were all getting ready
SAM
 
  +
for their prom.
With all that help on my Penn State
 
  +
My sister finally decided
application? Of course I did. Open it.
 
  +
to break up with Derek...
Charlie lifts up the box to reveal an OLD MANUAL TYPEWRITER.
 
  +
and go stag with her girlfriends instead.
CHARLIE
 
  +
And then there was Sam.
I don't know what to say.
 
  +
I've looked at her picture
SAM
 
  +
since that night.
You don't have to say anything.
 
  +
I like to see how happy she was
Sam goes over and types. "Write about us sometime." He
 
  +
before she knew.
smiles and types back. "I will." They look at each other.
 
  +
They were in a hotel suite after prom
We can hear a lovely ballad playing downstairs.
 
  +
and the truth came out.
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
Basically Craig
I'm sorry we can't be here for your
 
  +
has been cheating on Sam the whole time.
birthday.
 
  +
When I heard that...
CHARLIE
 
  +
I kept thinking about the happy girl
That's okay. I'm just sorry you have to
 
  +
in these pictures.
go back and visit your dad.
 
  +
'Cause she doesn't have 1,095 days to go.
SAM
 
  +
She made it.
I'm in such a great mood, I don't think
 
  +
This is her time.
even he could ruin it. I feel like I'm
 
  +
And no one should be
finally doing good.
 
  +
able to take that away.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Congratulations.
You are.
 
  +
Oh, Charlie. Charlie's here.
SAM
 
  +
Guys, group photo.
Me? What about you? When I met you, you
 
  +
We should all take a group photo.
were this scared freshman. And look at
 
  +
Get against the railing
you in that suit. You're like a sexy
 
  +
and try to look suave.
English school boy. I saw Mary Elizabeth
 
  +
Yep, this is the one.
checking you out.
 
  +
That's gonna be a great angle.
CHARLIE
 
  +
At her going away party...
(innocent laugh)
 
  +
I wanted her to know about that night
No.
 
  +
we went through the tunnel.
42.
 
  +
And how for the first time...
SAM
 
  +
I felt like I belonged somewhere.
Innocent. Worst kind of guys. Never see
 
  +
And tomorrow, she's leaving.
you coming. And parents love you. That's
 
  +
So I wanted to give her a part of me.
like... extra danger.
 
  +
Are these all your books, Charlie?
CHARLIE
 
  +
Thanks for staying up with me.
Well, it hasn't worked so far.
 
  +
Sure.
SAM
 
  +
My brother said Penn State has this
Come on. You've never had a girlfriend?
 
  +
restaurant called Ye Olde College Diner.
Not even a 2nd grade valentine?
 
  +
You have to get a grilled
He shakes his head.
 
  +
sticky on your first night.
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
It's a tradition.
Have you ever kissed a girl?
 
  +
That sounds like fun.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Yeah.
No. What about you?
 
  +
Pretty soon, you'll have
SAM
 
  +
a whole new group of friends, you know.
Have I ever kissed a girl?
 
  +
You won't even think about
CHARLIE
 
  +
this place anymore.
(laughs)
 
  +
Yes, I will.
No! Your first kiss...
 
  +
Had lunch with Craig today.
Sam gets this strange look in her eyes. A little haunted.
 
  +
Yeah?
SAM
 
My first kiss? I was 11. His name was
+
He said he was sorry and that I was right
  +
to break up with him.
Robert. He would come over to the house
 
  +
I'm driving away
all the time.
 
  +
and was feeling so small.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Just asking myself,
Was he your first boyfriend?
 
  +
"Why do I and everyone I love...
SAM
 
  +
pick people who treat
He was my dad's boss.
 
  +
us like we're nothing?"
Charlie goes silent.
 
  +
We accept the love we think we deserve.
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
Then why didn't you ever ask me out?
You know Charlie, I used to sleep with
 
  +
I...
guys who treated me like shit. And get
 
  +
I just didn't think that you wanted that.
wasted all the time. But now... I feel
 
  +
Well, what did you want?
like I have a chance. I could even get
 
  +
I just want you to be happy.
into a real college.
 
  +
Don't you get it, Charlie?
CHARLIE
 
It's true. You can do it.
+
I can't feel that.
  +
It's really sweet and everything, but...
SAM
 
  +
You can't just sit there
43.
 
  +
and put everybody's lives ahead of yours...
CHARLIE
 
My Aunt... she had that same thing done
+
and think that counts as love.
  +
I don't want to be somebody's crush.
to her, too. And she turned her life
 
  +
I want people to like the real me.
around.
 
  +
I know who you are, Sam.
SAM
 
  +
I know I'm quiet.
She must have been great.
 
  +
And I know I should speak more.
CHARLIE
 
  +
But if you knew the things
She was my favorite person in the
 
  +
that were in my head most of the time...
world... until now.
 
  +
you'd know what it really meant.
Sam smiles. She's very moved.
 
  +
How much we're alike...
SAM
 
  +
and how we've been through the same things.
Charlie, I know that you know I like
 
  +
And you're not small.
Craig. But I want to forget that for a
 
  +
You're beautiful.
minute. Okay? I just want to make sure
 
  +
What's wrong, Charlie?
that the first person who kisses you
 
  +
Nothing.
loves you. Okay?
 
  +
You know I'm gonna call you all the time.
Charlie nods. And with that, Sam leans over and kisses him.
 
  +
- We're gonna see each other in New York.
It starts softly, then Sam wraps her thin arms around him.
 
  +
- All the time.
Holding on for lonely life. When the song crescendos, and
 
  +
Come on, Sam.
they part, Charlie and Sam look at each other. Finally...
 
  +
What's wrong, Charlie?
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
Put your seat belt on.
I love you, Charlie.
 
  +
We'll meet you there.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Don't wake your sister.
I love you, too.
 
  +
It'll be our little secret, okay?
67 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - NIGHT 67
 
  +
Look, Charlie, she's fast asleep.
The porch lights are as golden as Charlie feels right now.
 
  +
Don't wake your sister.
We see the girls wave to each other and hug Sam.
 
  +
My fault.
GANG
 
  +
It's all my fault.
"Merry Christmas!" "Good luck at your
 
  +
It'll be our little secret. Okay?
dad's!" "See you at New Year's!"
 
  +
Stop it.
Patrick approaches Charlie in the doorway.
 
  +
Stop.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Stop crying.
Have a good time at your mom's.
 
  +
This'll be our little secret.
PATRICK
 
  +
Candace. Your brother's on the phone.
Thanks. And Charlie... since you were
 
  +
Hello?
born on Christmas Eve, I figure you don't
 
  +
- Hey, Candace.
get a lot of birthday presents. So, I
 
  +
- Charlie?
thought you should have my clock. From
 
  +
Sam and Patrick left,
the heart.
 
  +
and I can't stop thinking about something.
44.
 
  +
What?
CHARLIE
 
  +
Candace...
Thank you, Patrick.
 
  +
I killed Aunt Helen, didn't I?
Sam gives Charlie one last hug. Patrick and Sam watch their
 
  +
She died getting my birthday present...
friends leave.
 
  +
so I guess I killed her, right?
PATRICK
 
  +
I've tried to stop thinking that,
I love you guys!
 
  +
but I can't.
68 EXT. DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH - NIGHT 68
 
  +
She keeps driving away and dying.
We fly as high as Charlie feels. Above the city on Christmas
 
  +
Call the police and send them to my house.
Eve.
 
  +
I can't stop her. I'm crazy again.
69 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 69
 
  +
No. Charlie, listen to me.
The front door opens, revealing Charlie's dad.
 
  +
Mom and Dad are gonna be home
FATHER
 
  +
with Chris any second.
Hey! Look who's here!
 
  +
I'm just thinking...
He moves out of the way, and standing there is Charlie's
 
  +
what if I wanted her to die, Candace?
older brother, CHRIS KELMECKIS (19). Chris is handsome,
 
  +
What? Charlie?
charismatic, and an all around winner.
 
  +
Charlie!
CHRIS
 
  +
Charlie?
Come here, little sister.
 
  +
I'm Dr. Burton.
CANDACE
 
  +
Where am I?
Hey, Chris.
 
  +
Mayview Hospital.
Big hug. Chris smiles big and "son flirts" with his mom.
 
  +
You... You have to let me go.
CHRIS
 
  +
My dad can't afford it.
Ma, you look so thin!
 
  +
Oh, don't worry about that.
MOTHER
 
  +
No. I saw them when I was little...
10 pounds... Weight Watchers.
 
  +
and I don't want to be a Mayview kid.
Big kiss. When he lets go, he sees Charlie and smiles.
 
  +
Just tell me how to stop it.
CHRIS
 
  +
Stop what?
Charlie...
 
  +
Seeing it.
Chris and Charlie look at each other in silence. Then, hug.
 
  +
All their lives all the time.
As the family moves into the dining room to celebrate, Chris
 
  +
How do you stop seeing it?
gives him a quiet...
 
  +
Seeing what, Charlie?
CHRIS (CONT'D)
 
  +
There is so much pain.
Happy birthday.
 
  +
And I don't know how to not notice it.
70 INT. CHARLIE'S DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 70
 
  +
What's hurting you?
45.
 
  +
No, not me.
MOTHER
 
  +
It's them. It's everyone. It never stops.
Make a wish, honey.
 
  +
Do you understand?
We move closer to Charlie as he makes his wish and blows out
 
  +
What about your Aunt Helen?
his 16 candles.
 
  +
What about her?
MATCH CUT TO:
 
  +
Do you see her?
71 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (PRESENT) 71
 
  +
Yes.
The wind blows out a candle in one of the luminaria bags.
 
  +
She had a terrible life.
The suburb is quiet. Not a creature is stirring. Except...
 
  +
God, what am I supposed to...
Charlie. He fills a brown paper bag with sand and a candle.
 
  +
You said some things
He lights the candle, making the bag glow like a beautiful
 
  +
about her in your sleep.
lantern. He looks down his street, where families are out
 
  +
I don't care.
with their kids, doing the same luminaria ritual.
 
  +
If you want to get better...
MATCH CUT TO:
 
  +
you have to.
72 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 72
 
  +
She...
The same street. Christmas Eve. Many years ago. Aunt Helen
 
  +
She was insane.
and the kids finish their luminaria bags. Aunt Helen lights
 
  +
I'm just sayin'.
up the candles. They glow.
 
  +
She...
AUNT HELEN
 
Can you see it, Charlie? The luminaria
+
Charlie?
  +
You gonna let me help you here?
is a landing strip for Santa Claus.
 
  +
Okay.
The image goes wide. All of these bags glowing. Beautiful.
 
  +
Do you remember anything
Aunt Helen rattles her keys. Whispers.
 
  +
before you blacked out?
AUNT HELEN (CONT'D)
 
  +
I remember leaving Sam's house.
Keep an eye out for him with your brother
 
  +
I was walking home. And...
and sister. I'll be right back.
 
  +
I was in the hospital for a while.
She bends down and whispers into his ear.
 
  +
I won't go into detail about all of it.
AUNT HELEN (CONT'D)
 
  +
But I will say there
I'm going to get your birthday present.
 
  +
were some very bad days.
She musses his hair and gets in the car.
 
  +
And some unexpected beautiful days.
END FLASHBACK
 
  +
The worst day was the time my doctor
73 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (PRESENT) 73
 
  +
told my mom and dad...
Charlie hovers over the glowing luminaria. Something is
 
  +
what Aunt Helen did to me.
bothering him. He shakes it off.
 
  +
Honey?
46.
 
  +
I'm so sorry.
74 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN/DINING ROOM - NIGHT 74
 
  +
The best days were those
Charlie wanders through the quiet house. He turns the corner
 
  +
when I could have visitors.
where he finds Chris sitting at the table. He's lit by a
 
  +
My brother and sister
couple of candles and the blinking lights of the Christmas
 
  +
always came for those...
Tree. He's surrounded by leftovers. Charlie sits.
 
  +
until Chris had to go to training camp.
CHARLIE
 
  +
He's going to be first string this year.
Hey.
 
  +
My sister told me she met a nice guy
Chris chews and swallows. Famished. They both whisper.
 
  +
at her summer job.
CHRIS
 
  +
Here he is.
Hey. God, I missed mom's cooking. You
 
  +
So I'll see you Thursday at 6:00, right?
have no idea how good you have it. I'm
 
  +
- Okay.
actually beginning to hate pizza.
 
  +
- You gonna hang in there?
Charlie smiles. Grabs a Hershey Kiss cookie.
 
  +
My doctor said we can't choose
CHARLIE
 
  +
where we come from...
How are you liking school?
 
  +
but we can choose where we go from there.
CHRIS
 
  +
I know it's not all the answers...
Not bad. I'm no brainiac like you or
 
  +
but it was enough to start putting
Candace. But I'm doing okay.
 
  +
these pieces together.
CHARLIE
 
  +
God bless this food we
Okay? You're playing in a Bowl Game.
 
  +
are about to receive.
Chris laughs. Charlie smiles. A moment passes. Chris
 
  +
We thank you for this bounty...
changes his tone. Cautious.
 
  +
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.
CHRIS
 
  +
- Amen.
How are you feeling, Charlie?
 
  +
- Amen.
CHARLIE
 
  +
How do you think the Penguins
Good.
 
  +
are gonna do this year, Dad?
CHRIS
 
  +
Goddamn Penguins.
You know what I mean. Is it bad tonight?
 
  +
Think they're allergic to goddamn defense.
CHARLIE
 
  +
What do the players call a puck again?
No.
 
  +
A biscuit.
CHRIS
 
  +
Are you sure it's not a "goddamn biscuit"?
No?
 
  +
You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Honey, I think we're gonna have to do...
I'm not picturing things anymore. And
 
  +
a little shopping for you
when I do, I can just shut it off.
 
  +
before you take off?
CHRIS
 
  +
- Yeah, I need some books.
(relieved)
 
  +
- Clothes, too.
47.
 
  +
Yeah.
now. And maybe if it does get bad again,
 
  +
Can Charlie come out and play?
you can just talk to them, yeah?
 
  +
Charlie's mother smiles. Charlie smiles, too. Especially
CHARLIE
 
  +
Yeah. Especially Sam. I'm going to ask
 
  +
when he sees... Sam. Standing next to Patrick. Her hair a
her out at New Years. I think the time
 
  +
little different. Her eyes alive and happy..
is right now.
 
  +
That first night, I had grilled stickies.
Chris smiles at his kid brother. We hear the church organ.
 
  +
It was so good. You have to visit in the
75 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CHURCH - MORNING 75
 
  +
Fall. We'll have some. Okay?
The family moves down the line to receive Holy Communion at
 
  +
CHARLIE
Christmas Mass. Charlie's father, then mother, then sister,
 
  +
Definitely.
take the sacrament. Charlie is next. The PRIEST makes the
 
  +
PATRICK
motion of the cross with the communion wafer. He places it
 
  +
Sorry, Sam. Charlie has a breakdown
in Charlie's hand. Charlie brings the sacrament to his mouth
 
  +
scheduled for October.
with his fingers...
 
  +
Charlie laughs. Sam smiles. After a beat...
MATCH CUT TO:
 
  +
SAM
76 INT. BOB'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 76
 
  +
Well, can I tell you something? I've
We move in closer to Charlie's fingers in his mouth. When he
 
  +
been away for two months. It's another
takes his hand out, we see... a tab of LSD. The church organ
 
  +
world. And it gets better.
is now a rock organ. And it's now... New Year's Eve.
 
  +
And my roommate Katie has the best taste
Charlie closes his mouth. He looks down the hall of the
 
  +
in music.
smoky room where Craig has his arm around Sam. Charlie turns
 
  +
Sam puts a cassette tape down on the table.
to Mary Elizabeth, who's also dosed.
 
  +
I found the tunnel song.
CHARLIE
 
  +
Charlie looks at Sam and Patrick, who smile.
How long does this take to work?
 
  +
Let's drive..
77 EXT. BOB'S HOUSE - NIGHT 77
 
  +
I don't know if I will have the time to
About 45 minutes. The sound is muted thick. Slight echoes.
 
  +
write any more letters because I might be
Charlie shovels the snow. Crunch. Fascinated by his breath
 
  +
too busy trying to participate. So, if
making fog. Sam comes outside. She's worried about him.
 
  +
this does end up being the last letter, I
SAM
 
  +
just want you to know that I was in a bad
Shoveling snow, huh?
 
  +
place before I started high school. And
CHARLIE
 
  +
you helped me.
I have to get this driveway clean. Then,
 
  +
The three friends are flying down the highway in Sam's truck.
I have to congratulate you for being
 
  +
The music blaring. The wind making their hair dance.
happy because you deserve it.
 
  +
Even if you didn't know what I was
SAM
 
  +
talking about. Or know someone who's
You said that an hour ago.
 
  +
gone through it. It made me not feel
CHARLIE
 
  +
alone.
Was that tonight? God. I was looking at
 
  +
With Sam's help, Charlie climbs through the little window
this tree, but it was a dragon, and then
 
  +
Because I know there are people who say
48.
 
  +
all of these things don't happen. And
CHRIS (CONT'D)
 
  +
there are people who forget what it's
SAM
 
  +
like to be 16 when they turn 17.
Okay, Charlie. Don't freak out. Just
 
  +
We see Charlie in profile. The night sky behind him until...
give me the shovel. Calm down. Look up.
 
  +
... they enter the tunnel, and we realize just how fast
She points. Charlie looks up. Sees the stars.
 
  +
they're driving. The white tiles of the tunnel whiz by at
SAM (CONT'D)
 
  +
blinding speed. A perfect night. A perfect drive. Flying.
Isn't it quiet?
 
  +
I know these will all be stories someday.
CHARLIE
 
  +
And our pictures will become old
Sam, you ever think that if people knew
 
  +
photographs. And we'll all become
how crazy you really were, no one would
 
  +
somebody's mom or dad. But right now,
ever talk to you?
 
  +
these moments are not stories.
SAM
 
  +
Charlie turns to face forward. To the moment. To Sam,
All the time. So, you want to put on
 
  +
Smiling at him from the front seat.
these glasses? They'll protect you.
 
  +
This is happening. I am here. And I am
Sam puts her arm around his shoulder. Protecting him.
 
  +
Looking at her. And she is so beautiful.
Charlie looks through the glasses. The sky bends like a
 
  +
Sam kisses Charlie. Then, she turns, and all three kids look
globe. When he breathes, the sky ripples.
 
  +
Ahead to everything in front of them. Charlie begins to
78 INT. BOB'S HOUSE - NIGHT 78
 
  +
Stand in the back of the truck. Ready to leave the tunnel.
Charlie wanders through the party, tripping out of his mind.
 
  +
I can see it. This one moment when you
He sits down on the sofa. The world unbends as Charlie takes
 
  +
know you're not a sad story. You are
off the glasses. Kids walk around the party, leaving ghosts
 
  +
alive. And as you stand up and see the
of themselves behind.
 
  +
lights on buildings and everything that
Charlie looks upstairs to find... Sam and Craig kissing.
 
  +
makes you wonder. And you are listening
Craig leads her to the bedroom.
 
  +
to that song on that drive with the
Charlie looks back at the party as kids gather for the New
 
  +
people you love most in this world.
Years countdown. Patrick leads the charge.
 
  +
Charlie stands in the back of the truck. The wind on his
PATRICK
 
  +
face. He is free.
10-9-8...
 
  +
And in this moment, I swear...
79 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 79
 
  +
... we are infinite.
In a QUICK FLASH, we see 7 year old Charlie with Aunt Helen
 
on Christmas Eve. She bends to whisper in his ear.
 
AUNT HELEN
 
It'll be our little secret, all right?
 
80 INT. BOB'S HOUSE - NIGHT (PRESENT) 80
 
We are BACK TO PRESENT as Charlie takes a deep breath and
 
tries to remember that he's at a New Year's party.
 
PATRICK
 
7-6-5-4-3-2-1. Happy New Year!
 
49.
 
The crowd cheers, leaving ghosts of themselves. Charlie gets
 
up from the sofa and walks out of Bob's house.
 
81 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT 81
 
Charlie walks down the road under a streetlight. Silhouette.
 
The road is icy. Charlie lays down and starts moving his
 
arms in the snow. The memories begin to haunt him.
 
82 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 82
 
7 year old Charlie waves goodbye to Aunt Helen as she drives
 
away through the landing strip for Santa Claus.
 
83 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (PRESENT) 83
 
16 year old Charlie blinks. The memories come faster.
 
84 INT. AUNT HELEN'S CAR - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 84
 
Aunt Helen drives past a tall snow drift. She looks down at
 
the 45 of The Beatles in the seat next to her. She smiles at
 
Charlie's birthday present. Then, she looks up as the
 
headlights of the semi truck smash the windows with a CRASH!
 
85 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 85
 
Charlie's mother opens the door, revealing a POLICEMAN. He
 
turns to Charlie in his party hat. 7 years old and confused.
 
86 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (PRESENT) 86
 
16 year old Charlie lays on the snow, shivering, as the image
 
goes high above to reveal he's made a snow angel.
 
87 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AFTERNOON 87
 
The Emergency room is bustling on New Year's Day. Charlie
 
looks up as the POLICE, DOCTORS, and his PARENTS tower over
 
him. He is terrified and does what any kid would do. He
 
lies his ass off.
 
POLICEMAN
 
Did your older friends pressure you?
 
CHARLIE
 
No one pressured me into anything. I
 
would never do drugs, officer. Never.
 
POLICEMAN
 
Then, how did you happen to be passed out
 
on the ground at 6 in the morning?
 
50.
 
CHARLIE
 
Well, um... I was really tired, and uh...
 
I was feeling feverish. So, I went
 
outside for a walk, just to get some cold
 
air. And I started seeing things. So, I
 
passed out.
 
He waits to see if this worked. And then, unexpectedly...
 
MOTHER
 
(worried)
 
You're seeing things again, Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
(oops)
 
Not, uh... Not really.
 
88 EXT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - MORNING 88
 
The tires squish the grey slush puddle as the busses pull
 
into the dreary parking lot. School is back in session.
 
89 INT. HALLWAY - MORNING 89
 
Charlie shakes off the cold, then takes off his overcoat to
 
reveal... he's wearing his suit from Secret Santa. All the
 
kids stare. Charlie realizes he made a terrible mistake.
 
CHARLIE
 
It was a Christmas present.
 
90 INT. BILL'S CLASSROOM - MORNING 90
 
Charlie sits as Bill hands out the book for the semester...
 
The Great Gatsby. As the kids chatter, Bill gives Charlie
 
his own book to start the year... The Stranger.
 
CHARLIE
 
Did you have fun on your break?
 
BILL
 
More fun than you're going to have today,
 
Sinatra.
 
Bill pats his shoulder and moves on. The Smart Ass Freshman
 
looks at Charlie and whispers.
 
SMART ASS FRESHMAN
 
Nice look, jag off.
 
91 EXT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT 91
 
The Rocky Horror faithful enter the theater.
 
51.
 
SAM (O.S.)
 
I called him 30 times.
 
92 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT 92
 
Mary Elizabeth and the kids get ready for the floor show.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Well what are we supposed to do? We're
 
going on in 10 minutes!
 
The phone rings. Mary Elizabeth picks up. Charlie turns to
 
Brad, sitting next to him. Charlie is freaking out.
 
CHARLIE
 
But they said in health class--
 
BRAD HAYS
 
They say that about LSD to scare you.
 
CHARLIE
 
Are you sure?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
Charlie, you're fine, man.
 
Mary Elizabeth hangs up the phone, frustrated.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Guys, we have an emergency. Craig flaked
 
out on us again. I need a Rocky. Brad?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
(scared)
 
No way. There are people out here.
 
The group is deflated. They all start thinking. After a
 
beat, Mary Elizabeth looks at Charlie.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Charlie... take off your clothes.
 
93 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - LATER 93
 
You know those dreams you have when you are standing in front
 
of 200 people in your underwear? Well, this is no dream.
 
We hear a heart beat as Charlie dances out of the Rocky gauze
 
and finds himself standing in tight gold underwear, looking
 
out at 200 people, cheering him on.
 
His friends can't stop smiling. Especially Mary Elizabeth,
 
who watches Charlie's little butt in the gold undies. She
 
52.
 
94 INT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - LATER 94
 
"Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me" is in full swing. Sam slinks
 
over to Charlie dressed in her white bra and slip.
 
SAM
 
(as Janet)
 
So if anything grows while you pose.
 
I'll oil you up and drop you down. And
 
that's just one small fraction of the
 
main attraction. You need a friendly
 
hand. And I need action!
 
Sam grabs Charlie's hands and rubs them all over her chest.
 
SAM (CONT'D)
 
Ah! Touch a touch a touch me! I wanna
 
be dirty! Thrill me. Chill me. Fulfill
 
me! Creature of the night!
 
The song continues. We see flashes of the night's
 
performance as Charlie goes from train wreck to triumph.
 
Charlie joins Sam in the kick line, and it feels like it's
 
just the two of them. On the final beat, Sam gasps...
 
SAM (CONT'D)
 
Creature of the night!
 
The song ends. The cast bows. Sam and Patrick push Charlie
 
in front for his own curtain call. Everyone cheers. It's
 
the night he'll never forget.
 
95 EXT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT 95
 
The wind whips. That bracing February cold. Charlie helps
 
Mary Elizabeth carry the costumes outside to her car.
 
CHARLIE
 
Maybe I could join the cast as an
 
alternate or something?
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
We're filled up now, but they'll need
 
people after we leave for college. I
 
could put in a good word for you.
 
CHARLIE
 
That'd be great. Thanks.
 
They put the box in her trunk. Snap it closed. We can't
 
help but notice the "Keep Your Laws Off My Body" bumper
 
sticker as Mary Elizabeth tries her best to flirt.
 
53.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Charlie... have you heard of the Sadie
 
Hawkins dance?
 
CHARLIE
 
The one where the girl asks the guy.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Yeah. Well, obviously, it's completely
 
stupid and sexist. It's like, "Hey,
 
thanks for the crumb." And normally, I'd
 
just blow it off because school dances
 
suck torture. But, you know, it's my
 
last year, and... would you maybe want to
 
go with me?
 
CHARLIE
 
You want to go with me?
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
I'm sick of macho guys. And you looked
 
really cute in your costume. So, what do
 
you say?
 
Charlie thinks and thinks and...
 
96 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DUSK 96
 
Ding dong. Charlie's mom opens the door for MARY ELIZABETH.
 
Charlie straightens out his church suit. So nervous.
 
MOTHER
 
You must be Mary Elizabeth. It's so good
 
to meet you.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
You, too, Mrs. Kelmeckis.
 
FATHER
 
(shit eating grin)
 
Charlie tells me you're a Buddhist.
 
97 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - FIREPLACE - DUSK 97
 
Charlie and Mary Elizabeth stand next to Candace and Derek.
 
FATHER
 
OK, a little closer together. That looks
 
nice. Buddhist, I need you to smile a
 
little bit more. There you go. Nice.
 
Cheese! White flash. The picture of 4 kids. Smiling big.
 
54.
 
98 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - GYMNASIUM - NIGHT 98
 
Charlie and Mary Elizabeth slow dance to an 80's love song.
 
Sweaty palms. Awkward. Hands on hips. Horror.
 
Charlie looks around the gym. He sees Alice dancing with her
 
date, an EFFEMINATE GOTH KID (17). We'll never meet him, but
 
he'll make us laugh once.
 
Charlie then watches Patrick dance with Sam. He follows
 
Patrick's gaze across the floor to Brad, who dances with a
 
SENIOR GIRL (18). Charlie sees the boys look at each other.
 
For one moment, it's like they're dancing together.
 
99 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - GYMNASIUM - LATER 99
 
Mary Elizabeth is at the punch bowl with the gang. Charlie
 
sees Sam, standing by the wall, looking sad. He approaches.
 
CHARLIE
 
Are you having a good time?
 
SAM
 
Not really. How about you?
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know. This is my first date, so
 
I don't know what to compare it to.
 
SAM
 
Don't worry. You're doing fine.
 
Charlie joins her at the wall. Mary Elizabeth gives them a
 
quick, jealous look.
 
CHARLIE
 
I'm sorry Craig didn't come.
 
SAM
 
Yeah. He said he didn't want to go to
 
some stupid high school dance. Can't say
 
I blame him.
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know. If you like it, he should
 
come.
 
SAM
 
Thanks, Charlie. Have a beautiful first
 
date. You deserve it.
 
CHARLIE
 
I'll try not to make you too jealous.
 
55.
 
He said it to cheer her up. Sam forces a smile and leaves.
 
100 INT. MARY ELIZABETH'S DEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 100
 
Mary Elizabeth approaches Charlie on the antique sofa. She
 
uncorks a bottle of wine. POP! She hands him the bottle.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Mmmm. Now, let it breathe.
 
Mary Elizabeth walks over to the vintage turntable. She
 
turns on the gas fireplace with a remote control. Roar!
 
CHARLIE
 
This is sure a nice house.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Thanks.
 
Mary Elizabeth drops the needle on a vinyl LP. A Doo Wop
 
make-out classic begins to play. She dances over to Charlie.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
Mmmm. Don't you just love old music?
 
(off his nod)
 
Good. Because I made you a mix of it.
 
I'd love to expose you to great things.
 
Like Billie Holiday and foreign films.
 
She pours the wine. Charlie looks at the bottle.
 
CHARLIE
 
This merlot is really fancy.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Yeah. My dad collects wine, but he
 
doesn't drink. That's weird, isn't it?
 
CHARLIE
 
I guess. Where are your parents?
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Their club is hosting a cotillion or
 
something racist. They'll be gone all
 
night.
 
Mary Elizabeth drops her necklace with a thud. Charlie looks
 
around. Heart beating.
 
CHARLIE
 
That's sure a nice fire.
 
56.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Yeah. After I'm done being a lobbyist, I
 
want to move to a house like this in Cape
 
Cod. That sounds nice, doesn't it?
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah.
 
She reaches out and touches his chest.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Your heart is beating really fast.
 
CHARLIE
 
Is it?
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Here, feel.
 
She puts her hand on his. Moves it to his chest.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
Uh-huh?
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Do you like me?
 
CHARLIE
 
Uh-huh.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
You know what I mean.
 
CHARLIE
 
I think so.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Don't be nervous.
 
She slowly moves his hand to her dress strap. It falls off
 
her shoulder. She leans in for a red wine kiss. She guides
 
his hand over her bra. He feels her breast. Wow.
 
MATCH CUT TO:
 
101 INT. MARY ELIZABETH'S BASEMENT - FANTASY 101
 
For a quick moment, Charlie imagines he is kissing Sam.
 
Broken by...
 
57.
 
102 INT. MARY ELIZABETH'S BASEMENT - MOMENTS LATER 102
 
Mary Elizabeth moves his hand away. Charlie blinks, taking a
 
moment to realize Sam's not the one in the room. The song is
 
over. The needle turns at the end of the record.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Charlie...
 
She gives him one last kiss. Content, she lays down on his
 
lap. Peaceful.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
I didn't know how it was going to go
 
tonight, but it was really nice, huh?
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
I can't believe it. You of all people.
 
I just can't believe you're my boyfriend.
 
We land on Charlie's face. "What?" And then, we hear the
 
GARAGE DOOR OPEN.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
Oh, shit! My parents!
 
The mad scramble for clothes begins.
 
CUT TO:
 
103 EXT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 103
 
Mary Elizabeth's car pulls in front of Charlie's house.
 
Charlie gets out. Wanting to say he's not her boyfriend.
 
Not knowing how. Mary Elizabeth smiles. Smitten.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
See you Monday.
 
With that, she backs out of the driveway. We see him from
 
the back of her car, getting smaller and smaller. His
 
stomach already filling with acid.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Dear Friend... I'm sorry I haven't
 
written for awhile, but things are a
 
total disaster.
 
58.
 
104 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 104
 
Sam, Patrick, and Alice are seated around the table. Mary
 
Elizabeth has her arms around Charlie. Smothering him.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
We're literally making out, and I'm in my
 
bra. Hello! And the front door opens.
 
It's my parents! I'm scrambling to get
 
my dress on. It was crazy. Right, babe?
 
Charlie nods, tortured.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I probably should have been honest about
 
how I didn't want to go out with Mary
 
Elizabeth after Sadie's, but I really
 
didn't want to hurt her feelings.
 
105 EXT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - MORNING 105
 
Ash Wednesday. Charlie gets out of the school bus to
 
immediately find Mary Elizabeth waiting for him. She sees
 
the cross of ashes on his forehead. She thinks his ashes are
 
a smudge. She cleans it.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
You see, Mary Elizabeth is a really nice
 
person underneath the part of her that
 
hates everyone. And since I heard that
 
having a girlfriend makes you happy, I
 
tried hard to love her like I love Sam.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Can you believe it's almost our two week
 
anniversary?
 
CHARLIE
 
I know.
 
106 EXT. DORMONT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT 106
 
A double date. Craig and Sam buy the tickets to see the
 
silent classic, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
So, I took her on double dates.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
(proud)
 
Your first foreign film.
 
CHARLIE
 
59.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Vegans don't eat butter.
 
Charlie tries not to feel Mary Elizabeth's sweaty hand.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
And I tried not to mind that she loves to
 
hold hands even when her hands are
 
sweaty.
 
107 INT. MARY ELIZABETH'S DEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 107
 
Just like Sadie's except... the fire in the fireplace is out.
 
We move from the fireplace to Charlie, touching Mary
 
Elizabeth's breasts over her sweater.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
And I had to admit something really
 
upsetting. But I am tired of touching
 
her boobs. I thought maybe if she would
 
just let me pick the make-out music once
 
in awhile, we might have a chance.
 
Charlie looks at the Ani DiFranco Mix on the stereo. Sighs.
 
108 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 108
 
The gang is there. Walden rests on Charlie's lunch tray.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
And maybe if she didn't put down the
 
books that Mr. Anderson gives me.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Walden? I read it in 7th grade. I would
 
have called it "On Boring Pond."
 
109 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON 109
 
Ring! Charlie grabs the cordless. He looks at Patrick's
 
clock. 3:13pm. His voice can no longer hide his quiet rage.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Or if she would stop calling me the
 
minute I get home from school when I have
 
absolutely nothing to talk about other
 
than the bus ride home...
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
That dairy just sits with you. It walks
 
with you.
 
Charlie calmly puts down the phone and leaves the room. We
 
60.
 
110 INT. CHARLIE'S KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER 110
 
Charlie is so miserable. His mom is sympathetic.
 
MOTHER
 
She's on the phone right now? Charlie,
 
you have to break up with her.
 
CHARLIE
 
I can do that?
 
Charlie's father leans back from the sofa and his newspaper.
 
FATHER
 
For Christ's sake... I need to use the
 
phone!
 
111 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER 111
 
He returns. Mary Elizabeth is still talking on the cordless.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
I'll give you this book. It's really how
 
I became a vegan--
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I know I should have been honest, but I
 
was getting so mad, it was starting to
 
scare me.
 
He looks back at the clock. 3:23pm.
 
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
Um... Mary Elizabeth. Can I talk to you--
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
Charlie. Please, don't interrupt. You
 
know I hate that.
 
Charlie goes to his quiet place. Tick. Tick. Tick.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I just wish I could have found another
 
way to break up. In hindsight, I
 
probably could not have picked a worse
 
way to be honest with Mary Elizabeth.
 
112 INT. CRAIG'S LOFT APARTMENT - NIGHT 112
 
Truth or dare. The gang is seated in a circle, drinking from
 
plastic cups. Charlie sits between Mary Elizabeth and Sam.
 
BOB
 
61.
 
PATRICK
 
Who are you talking to?
 
BOB
 
I dare you to kiss Alice.
 
PATRICK
 
(licks his lips)
 
Get ready, breeder.
 
As Patrick approaches an apprehensive Alice...
 
CRAIG
 
Mary Elizabeth? Samantha told me that
 
you got into Harvard. Congratulations.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Thank you.
 
(re: Charlie)
 
This one still hasn't gotten me flowers.
 
(to Charlie)
 
But I forgive you.
 
She kisses him. Charlie bites his cheeks. Sam looks a
 
little depressed.
 
CRAIG
 
(to Sam)
 
Don't worry about Penn State. You're
 
just wait-listed.
 
PATRICK
 
Excuse me, everyone, but you're missing
 
some hot "fag on goth" action.
 
Anticipation. Patrick is getting ready to plant the biggest
 
kiss on Alice when she jumps him. Everyone groans. Ew!
 
Laughter. Patrick looks for the next person. Charlie's
 
heart pounds. Don't pick me! Please!
 
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
Okay. My turn. Um... let's think...
 
Charlie... truth or dare?
 
Silence. Thinking. Finally...
 
CHARLIE
 
Truth.
 
PATRICK
 
How is your first relationship going?
 
62.
 
CHARLIE
 
It's so bad that I keep fantasizing that
 
one of us is dying of cancer, so I don't
 
have to break up with her.
 
PATRICK
 
Charlie? Truth or dare?
 
Charlie blinks. It was all fantasy.
 
CHARLIE
 
Dare.
 
PATRICK
 
I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in
 
the room on the lips. Notice I
 
charitably said girl and not person
 
because let's face it... I'd smoke all
 
you bitches.
 
Alice hits him. Laughter. Charlie thinks. He looks at Mary
 
Elizabeth, then turns to Sam. Before Sam can even react...
 
Charlie plants a kiss right on her lips. When he opens his
 
eyes, he looks around, and realizes the magnitude of his
 
mistake. Everyone stares. After a horrible silence...
 
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
Now that's fucked up.
 
Without a word, Mary Elizabeth just stands, dignified, and
 
goes into the kitchen.
 
CHARLIE
 
Mary Elizabeth, I'm sorry. I'm--
 
Alice follows Mary Elizabeth. Sam is close behind.
 
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
Sam?! Sam! I'm sorry. I didn't mean
 
anything by it. I'm sorry.
 
Sam turns and looks at him. She doesn't even recognize him.
 
SAM
 
What the hell is wrong with you?
 
Charlie is devastated.
 
113 EXT. BOB'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113
 
They move to the driveway. Charlie feels awful. Panicky.
 
CHARLIE
 
63.
 
PATRICK
 
Trust me. You don't want to go back
 
there.
 
CHARLIE
 
But, I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to
 
do anything.
 
PATRICK
 
I know you didn't, but look... I hate to
 
be the one to break this, but there's
 
history with Mary Elizabeth and Sam.
 
Other guys. Things that have nothing to
 
do with you. But... it's best if you
 
stay away for awhile.
 
CHARLIE
 
(crushed)
 
Oh. Okay. How long do you think?
 
Silence. Charlie looks over at Patrick, who wears a grave
 
expression. It's going to be a long time. We hear the sound
 
of the typewriter.
 
114 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - MORNING 114
 
Charlie sits at his desk. It looks like he's barely slept.
 
He begins typing. The keys up close and loud. Clak.
 
CLOSE UP TYPING: "Dear friend, I have not seen my friends for
 
2 weeks now. I am starting to get bad again."
 
Charlie stares at the typewriter. And remembers.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
115 INT. CHARLIE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 115
 
Little Charlie pops his head around the corner from the
 
hallway. He looks at something we can't see yet.
 
BACK TO:
 
116 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - MORNING (PRESENT) 116
 
Present. Knock. Knock. Charlie's mom opens the door.
 
MOTHER
 
We're going to be late for Easter Mass.
 
CHARLIE
 
I'll... I'll be there in a minute.
 
64.
 
Charlie forces a smile, then looks back at the typewriter.
 
And tries to shake off the memory.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
117 INT. CHARLIE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 117
 
Little Charlie looks at Aunt Helen as she smokes her
 
cigarette and sobs.
 
BACK TO:
 
118 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CHURCH - MORNING 118
 
Charlie is lost. His family sits in the pews for Easter
 
Mass. Charlie watches the PRIEST recite the Lord's prayer.
 
PRIEST
 
Our Father who art in Heaven. Hallowed
 
be Thy name. Thy kingdom come--
 
MATCH CUT TO:
 
119 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CHURCH - MORNING (FLASHBACK) 119
 
7 year old Charlie watches the PRIEST recite the Lord's
 
prayer. He looks at Aunt Helen's picture on the coffin.
 
PRIEST
 
Thy will be done on earth as it is in
 
Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
 
MATCH CUT TO:
 
120 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CHURCH - MORNING (PRESENT) 120
 
16 year old Charlie looks haunted by the memory.
 
PRIEST
 
And forgive us our trespasses as we
 
forgive those who trespass against us--
 
The voices drift away and all Charlie can see is...
 
CUT TO:
 
121 INT. CHARLIE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 121
 
7 year old Charlie takes Aunt Helen's hand to make her stop
 
crying.
 
CUT TO:
 
65.
 
122 INT. ST. THOMAS MORE CHURCH - MORNING (PRESENT) 122
 
16 year old Charlie blinks as the voices come back.
 
PRIEST
 
And lead us not into temptation. But
 
deliver us from--
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
123 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 123
 
Charlie on the phone. His voice wavers a bit. Desperate.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Mary Elizabeth... I... uh... I've been
 
listening to the Billie Holiday CD every
 
night and--
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
It's too late, Charlie.
 
CHARLIE
 
I know. I just feel really bad about
 
what I did. I just get so messed up
 
inside like I'm - not there or something.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
Tell it to someone who cares.
 
CHARLIE
 
I know. I'm sorry. I just. We've all
 
become such good friends--
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
Good friends? You mean the people I've
 
known since kindergarten that you've
 
known for 6 months? Those good friends?
 
CHARLIE
 
Oh. Yeah. I mean I don't want to do
 
anything to ruin our--
 
MARY ELIZABETH (V.O.)
 
It's ruined. Okay? So, stop calling
 
everyone. Stop embarrassing yourself.
 
CHARLIE
 
Okay. I will. Goodbye, Mar--
 
Dial tone. Charlie hangs up the phone.
 
66.
 
124 INT. BOB'S BASEMENT - NIGHT 124
 
Charlie is terribly anxious. He watches Bob groom some pot.
 
CHARLIE
 
Something's wrong with me--
 
BOB
 
Don't worry about it. Hey... you hear
 
from Patrick?
 
CHARLIE
 
No. He told me to stay away.
 
BOB
 
Oh... you don't know?
 
CHARLIE
 
(concerned)
 
Why? Why? What happened?
 
BOB
 
Brad's father caught them together.
 
125 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - MORNING 125
 
As kids open lockers and move to morning period, Charlie
 
stares at Brad. He has a black eye and cuts on his face. He
 
look like he was beaten up badly. Students whisper gossip.
 
GOSSIP WHISPERS (O.S.)
 
"Some Lebo kids jumped him outside the
 
O." "It was some kids from North Hills."
 
"That's not what I heard."
 
Brad moves into the arms of CHARLOTTE (18), cheerleader cute.
 
As Brad kisses her, Charlie sees Patrick down the hall,
 
watching them. Patrick closes his locker. Hurting.
 
CHARLIE
 
Are you okay?
 
PATRICK
 
Not now, Charlie. I'm sorry.
 
Patrick storms off.
 
126 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 126
 
Charlie sits at his table, alone. He watches Patrick leave
 
the lunch line, passing a chorus of...
 
TWIN SENIOR GIRLS
 
67.
 
Patrick says nothing. He's too sad to fight the mob today.
 
He just moves to his table when the Nose Tackle sticks out
 
his leg. Patrick falls on his tray. The kids laugh.
 
NOSE TACKLE
 
Oops. Sorry, Nothing.
 
Patrick smiles to himself, dusts off, and turns to Brad.
 
PATRICK
 
You going to do something?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
What are you talking about?
 
PATRICK
 
Your pet ape just tripped me. Are you
 
going to say something?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
Why would I?
 
PATRICK
 
You know why.
 
It's too far. Brad can feel people staring.
 
BRAD HAYS
 
This is pathetic, man. Your fixation on
 
me.
 
Brad's friends laugh. Patrick's eyes narrow.
 
PATRICK
 
Do you want your friends to know how you
 
got those bruises? Really?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
I got jumped in a parking lot.
 
PATRICK
 
Where? In Schenley Park? Do they know
 
about Schenley Park?
 
(to Brad's friends)
 
Do you guys know about Schenley Park?
 
Brad stands and gets right in Patrick's face.
 
BRAD HAYS
 
I don't know what kind of sick shit
 
you're trying to pull.
 
(real warning)
 
But you better walk away now... Nothing.
 
68.
 
PATRICK
 
Fine. Say hi to your dad for me.
 
Patrick turns and leaves. And then, as an afterthought...
 
BRAD HAYS
 
Whatever... faggot.
 
Brad's friends laugh. Patrick stops and turns. Last chance.
 
PATRICK
 
What did you call me?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
I called you a faggo--
 
Smack.
 
Before Brad can even finish, Patrick throws a vicious right
 
to the cheek. Brad tackles him. And the two start fighting.
 
The cafeteria erupts in NOISE.
 
PATRICK
 
Say that shit again! Say that shit
 
again!
 
Brad's football buddies rise and peel Patrick off Brad. Mary
 
Elizabeth and Sam jump up from their corner table.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
It's Patrick!
 
The cafeteria gets louder. The Nose Tackle holds Patrick up.
 
More Noise. The Linebacker hits Patrick in the face.
 
SAM
 
No! No!
 
Sam rushes up and the Nose Tackle pushes her down. She lands
 
on her tail bone. Thud. Patrick gets hit a couple of times
 
in the face. The kids cheer the fight. It's getting louder
 
and louder with more and more noise. And then...
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
Silence.
 
Charlie comes out from a blink. He calmly looks around. For
 
a moment, he doesn't understand where he is. He looks up.
 
All the kids are staring at him. Mary Elizabeth. Alice.
 
Brad. They are all quiet. Afraid of him. Charlie looks at
 
his hand, clenched in a fist. It is already covered with...
 
69.
 
Charlie's confused until he sees the Linebacker holding his
 
broken, bloody nose. He's looking at Charlie...
 
Terrified.
 
The image pans over. The Nose Tackle is on the ground.
 
Charlie stands over them. He is disconnected. It's an out
 
of body experience. He reaches out and helps Patrick to his
 
feet. Then, he calmly turns and stares right through Brad.
 
CHARLIE
 
(icy calm)
 
If you touch my friends again, I'll blind
 
you.
 
Brad is stunned. So is everyone... except Sam.
 
127 INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON 127
 
Charlie sits in the waiting room of the principal's office.
 
He looks through the glass where Principal Small talks to
 
Brad. After a beat, she pats Brad's shoulder and opens the
 
door. Leaving Charlie and Brad alone in the waiting room.
 
Just as Brad is about to leave...
 
BRAD HAYS
 
Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah?
 
BRAD HAYS
 
Thanks for stopping them.
 
CHARLIE
 
Sure, Brad.
 
Brad doesn't look at him. He just moves on.
 
128 EXT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON 128
 
Charlie exits the building. Kids stare at him. Then, look
 
away. Charlie feels very lost until he sees... Sam. She
 
smiles. It brings him back instantly. And then, gently...
 
SAM
 
How you doing, Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know. I keep trying, but... I
 
can't really remember what I did.
 
Sam can see he's afraid of himself. She nods, sympathetic.
 
70.
 
SAM
 
Do you want me to tell you?
 
CHARLIE
 
(scared)
 
Yeah.
 
SAM
 
You saved my brother. That's what you
 
did.
 
CHARLIE
 
So, you're not scared of me?
 
SAM
 
No.
 
CHARLIE
 
And can we be friends again?
 
SAM
 
Of course.
 
The minute she hugs him, the numb goes away. She kisses the
 
top of his head and puts her arm around his shoulder. They
 
begin walking away.
 
SAM (CONT'D)
 
Come on. Let's go be psychos together.
 
129 INT. PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT 129
 
Mary Elizabeth looks at us because she wants us to know...
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
I'm dating Peter now.
 
She motions to PETER. College. Glasses. Good looking-ish.
 
MARY ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
 
He's in college with Craig. He's
 
opinionated, and we have intellectual
 
debates. You were very sweet, but our
 
relationship was too one-sided. I know
 
this is hard for you.
 
CHARLIE
 
I'm just glad you're happy.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Okay.
 
Mary Elizabeth joins Peter. Charlie looks at his friends.
 
71.
 
that says, "They forget. I don't." After a beat, Patrick
 
comes downstairs. He looks sad with his bruises.
 
PATRICK
 
Hey Craig, Sam will be down soon.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
We're going to miss the movie.
 
CRAIG
 
Yeah, I'll go put some pep in her step.
 
As Craig moves upstairs, Patrick approaches Charlie.
 
PATRICK
 
Hey... you wanna get out of here?
 
CHARLIE
 
Sure, Patrick.
 
130 EXT. WEST END OVERLOOK - NIGHT 130
 
Patrick drives Sam's truck up the hill to the overlook.
 
PATRICK (V.O.)
 
I'll tell you something, Charlie. I feel
 
good. You know what I mean? Maybe
 
tomorrow I'll take you to this karaoke
 
place downtown. And this club off the
 
strip. They don't card. And the
 
Schenley Park scene. You gotta see the
 
"fruit loop" at least one time.
 
131 EXT. WEST END OVERLOOK - NIGHT 131
 
Charlie and Patrick walk the lighted path, howling at the
 
moon. Patrick holds a thermos, filled with who knows what.
 
PATRICK
 
Oh, my God. My life is officially an
 
after school special. Son of a bitch!
 
CHARLIE
 
(laughing)
 
It kind of is. It so is.
 
More laughter. They arrive at the lookout. They drink.
 
PATRICK
 
So, you ever hear the one about Lily
 
Miller?
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know.
 
72.
 
PATRICK
 
Really? I thought your brother would
 
have told you. It's a classic.
 
CHARLIE
 
Maybe.
 
PATRICK
 
So, Lily comes here with this guy Parker.
 
And this was going to be the night they
 
were going to lose their virginity. So,
 
she did it really proper. She packed a
 
picnic. Stole a bottle of wine.
 
Everything was perfect, and they're just
 
about to 'do it' when they realize they
 
forgot the condoms. So, what do you
 
think happened?
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know.
 
PATRICK
 
They did it with one of the sandwich
 
bags.
 
They start laughing and screaming.
 
CHARLIE
 
Ew! That's disgusting!
 
PATRICK
 
Yes! It is! Let's keep the train
 
rolling. Suburban legends. Charlie!
 
Patrick points to Charlie, who thinks...
 
CHARLIE
 
Uh. Well... there was this girl named
 
Second Base Stace. She had boobs in the
 
4th grade--
 
PATRICK
 
Mosquito bites. Promising. Go.
 
CHARLIE
 
And she let some of the boys feel them.
 
PATRICK
 
That's your suburban legend? Did you at
 
least cop a feel?
 
CHARLIE
 
No.
 
73.
 
PATRICK
 
Of course not. You went home, listened
 
to "Asleep," wrote a poem about her selfesteem--
 
CHARLIE
 
Fine! Okay. Your turn.
 
Patrick walks over and sits down next to Charlie.
 
PATRICK
 
Yeah, I've got one. Well, there was this
 
one guy. Queer as a 3 dollar bill.
 
Guy's father didn't know about his son.
 
So, he comes down into the basement one
 
night when he's supposed to be out of
 
town. Catches his son with another boy.
 
So, he starts beating him. But not like
 
the slap kind. Like the real kind. And
 
the boyfriend says, "Stop. You're
 
killing him." And the son just yells
 
"Get out." And eventually the boyfriend
 
just did.
 
Patrick stops. Gripped by sad. He can't shake.
 
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
Why can't you save anybody?
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't know.
 
PATRICK
 
Forget it. I'm free now, right? I could
 
meet the love of my life any second now.
 
Things will be different now, and that's
 
good. I just need to meet a good guy.
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah.
 
Patrick looks at him. Charlie has never seen him so
 
vulnerable. After a beat... Patrick kisses Charlie on the
 
mouth. Unsure of what to do, Charlie lets it happen. His
 
eyes open the whole time. A moment, then Patrick looks at
 
Charlie. He collapses into his chest.
 
PATRICK
 
I'm sorry.
 
CHARLIE
 
It's alright.
 
74.
 
Charlie holds his friend as Patrick begins to cry. And we
 
leave them, the city lights small in the distance.
 
132 EXT. CITY HIGHWAY - NIGHT 132
 
We see the truck glide down the highway.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I've been spending a lot of time with
 
Patrick. He begins every night really
 
excited.
 
133 EXT. SCHENLEY PARK - NIGHT 133
 
Patrick and Charlie are parked at the entrance of Schenley
 
Park. Patrick speaks, very animated, until...
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
He always says he feels free, and tonight
 
is his destiny. But after awhile, he
 
runs out of things to keep himself numb.
 
... the words leave him, and we can see how sad he really is.
 
134 INT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER 134
 
Patrick hands Sam an envelope. Sam holds it. Pins and
 
needles.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Then, Sam got her letter from Penn State.
 
Sam opens the letter. She reads. Tears instantly well up in
 
her eyes. She leaves the room and walks down the hall.
 
Patrick picks up the letter.
 
PATRICK
 
(reading)
 
"We will require you to take our summer
 
session at the main campus immediately
 
following your high school graduation."
 
(off Charlie's look)
 
She got in, Charlie.
 
Charlie turns back to Sam. She holds him with sweet relief
 
and redemption.
 
135 INT. CAFETERIA - DAY 135
 
Charlie laughs with his friends in the cafeteria.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
After that all Patrick could talk about
 
75.
 
did get into NYU Film School. Patrick is
 
going to the University of Washington
 
because he wants to be near the music in
 
Seattle.
 
136 INT. SHOP CLASS - DAY 136
 
Charlie and a group of students stand, looking up at the
 
wall, which is covered with...
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
But he wasn't going to leave without
 
organizing the best senior prank ever.
 
... All The Shop Tools Painted Pink
 
The shop teacher, Mr. Callahan stares at the wall, furious.
 
As the students gawk, Charlie smiles to himself.
 
137 INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH 137
 
Sam and the girls chat excitedly. Summer is almost here.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Sam is going to leave right after
 
graduation. It all feels very exciting;
 
I just wish it were happening to me.
 
138 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY 138
 
Charlie sits on his bed, finishing the letter.
 
CHARLIE
 
Especially because ever since I blacked
 
out in the cafeteria, it's been getting
 
worse. And I can't turn it off this
 
time.
 
Charlie puts down the letter.
 
139 INT. BILL'S CLASSROOM - MORNING 139
 
The kids pass their copies of The Great Gatsby up to the
 
front, where Bill collects them for next year's freshmen.
 
The class is buzzing loud.
 
BILL
 
Guys, you want to pass your copies of
 
Gatsby up to the front please? And I
 
know it's the last day, but if we could
 
just keep it to a dull roar, I'd
 
appreciate it.
 
The class quiets down.
 
76.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
BILL (CONT'D)
 
Thank you for such a great year. I had a
 
blast. I hope you did, too. And I hope
 
you have a great time this summer on your
 
vacations. Now, who here is going to be
 
reading for pleasure this summer?
 
Charlie looks to see if anyone is watching... then, decides
 
to raise his hand anyway. Bill is proud.
 
BILL (CONT'D)
 
Very good, Charlie. Who else?
 
Charlie looks at the Smart Ass Freshman who tormented him all
 
year. She sighs. Nothing left to say to him.
 
140 INT. BILL'S CLASSROOM - LATER 140
 
The last kids exit the classroom. Charlie walks down the
 
aisle and stands in front of Bill.
 
BILL
 
Last day.
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah. So, uh, I know it's none of my
 
business, but have you decided... are you
 
going to New York?
 
BILL
 
Well, my wife and I like it here, and I
 
think I might be better at teaching than
 
writing.
 
Charlie is relieved. Bill is staying.
 
BILL (CONT'D)
 
So, uh Charlie... I was thinking maybe I
 
could still give you books next year.
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah. Yeah.
 
BILL
 
I think you could write one of them one
 
day.
 
CHARLIE
 
(fragile belief)
 
Really?
 
BILL
 
I do.
 
77.
 
Charlie is quiet. Then...
 
CHARLIE
 
You're the best teacher I ever had.
 
BILL
 
Thank you.
 
He gives Bill a shy sideways hug. The two men say nothing
 
else. Charlie waves and leaves. Bill smiles to himself.
 
141 INT. MILL GROVE HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON 141
 
Times Square has nothing on these seniors. Charlie watches
 
the gang on their last day of high school. When the clock
 
hits 10 seconds to 3pm, all the students chant...
 
SAM & COMPANY
 
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2...
 
STUDENT (O.S.)
 
Oh, my God, get me the hell out of here!
 
ALL
 
1!
 
They all cheer and hug each other. Patrick loses his mind
 
with joy and charges down the hallway.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
142 EXT. MILL GROVE FOOTBALL STADIUM - SUNSET 142
 
A brilliant sunset. We see the gang. In silhouette.
 
Running up the bleachers after the sun.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Dear Friend... I wanted to tell you about
 
us running. There was this beautiful
 
sunset. And just a few hours before,
 
everyone I love had their last day of
 
high school ever. And I was happy
 
because they were happy, even though I
 
counted, and I have 1,095 days to go.
 
143 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - FIREPLACE - LATE AFTERNOON 143
 
Prom night. Charlie sees Candace posing for Dad's camera.
 
For a moment, we think Candace went to prom with Derek.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I kept thinking about what school was
 
going to be like without them as they
 
78.
 
As mom and dad move out of the way, we realize Candace is
 
standing with her 3 best girlfriends. They look beautiful.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
My sister finally decided to break up
 
with Derek and go stag with her
 
girlfriends instead.
 
144 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - SUNSET 144
 
Prom night continues. The antique limo is so garish, it's
 
great. Charlie snaps pictures with Sam's mom and Patrick's
 
dad. Mary Elizabeth is with her boyfriend, Peter. Alice
 
stands with Patrick, dashing in his Mod Suit Tux.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
And then there was Sam...
 
The image moves to the front of the house, where Sam emerges.
 
She wears a vintage flapper dress from the 20's. Radiant.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
I've looked at her pictures since that
 
night. I like to see how happy she was
 
before she knew.
 
Sam joins Craig. They kiss for the cameras, then run with
 
the rest of the gang to the limosine.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
They were in a hotel suite after prom
 
when the truth came out...
 
The gang poses for more pictures in front of the limo.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
Basically, Craig has been cheating on Sam
 
the whole time. When I heard that, I
 
kept thinking about the happy girl in
 
these pictures. Because she doesn't have
 
1,095 days to go.
 
145 EXT. PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON 145
 
Graduation Day. The place is packed with graduating seniors
 
and families. Charlie's mom and dad fawn over Candace with
 
the video camera. Charlie finally finds... Sam.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
She made it. This is her time. And no
 
one should be able to take that away.
 
They approach each other and hug.
 
79.
 
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
Congratulations.
 
PATRICK
 
Oh, Charlie's here! Guys, group photo!
 
We should all take a group photo. Get
 
against the railing and try to look
 
suave!
 
The kids line up for the picture they will always remember.
 
PATRICK (CONT'D)
 
Yeah, this is the one. That's going to
 
be a great angle.
 
Patrick bows to reveal the top of his cap reads, "Nothing
 
Hates You." The parents line up cameras. "Cheese!" Snap.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
146 INT. SAM AND PATRICK'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 146
 
The grandfather clock reads 9:30pm. The room is festive
 
under streamers wishing Sam luck at Penn State. The kids
 
sign each other's yearbooks. Charlie sees Sam smile at old
 
photos. He misses her already.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
At her going away party, I wanted her to
 
know about that night we went through the
 
tunnel. And how for the first time, I
 
felt like I belonged somewhere.
 
CUT TO:
 
147 INT. SAM AND PATRICK'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - LATER 147
 
10:28pm. Charlie doesn't know where the time keeps going.
 
Sam opens goodbye presents from her friends.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
And tomorrow, she's leaving. So, I
 
wanted to give her a part of me.
 
Charlie watches Sam pick up his present. She carefully peels
 
the tape to reveal that Charlie gave her all of his books.
 
SAM
 
Are these all your books, Charlie?
 
He nods. They lock eyes and do not speak.
 
80.
 
148 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 148
 
The pictures are down. The dressers empty. The suitcase is
 
open on the bed. Charlie watches Sam fold clothes and put
 
them in her suitcase. He has promised himself he will not
 
cry. Even when she packs away his Beatles 45 of "Something."
 
Instead, he looks at her and tries to remember every detail.
 
Her hair and brown eyes and sound of her voice.
 
SAM
 
Thanks for staying up with me.
 
CHARLIE
 
Sure. My brother said Penn State has a
 
restaurant called Ye Olde College Diner.
 
You have to get a grilled stickie on your
 
first night. It's a tradition.
 
SAM
 
That sounds like fun.
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah. Pretty soon, you'll have a whole
 
new group of friends, and you won't even
 
think about this place anymore.
 
SAM
 
Yes, I will.
 
Sam moves some suitcases over to the pile in the room. They
 
stand next to each other. Close.
 
SAM (CONT'D)
 
I had lunch with Craig today.
 
CHARLIE
 
Yeah?
 
SAM
 
He said he was sorry, and that I was
 
right to break up with him. But I'm
 
driving away, and I just felt so small.
 
Just asking myself why do I and everyone
 
I love pick people who treat us like
 
we're nothing?
 
CHARLIE
 
We accept the love we think we deserve.
 
He says it sober. Without judgement. Sam lets it sink in.
 
Charlie walks over to the bed to do more packing. Then, she
 
turns to him.
 
81.
 
SAM
 
Then, why didn't you ever ask me out?
 
Charlie didn't expect that. He is silent. Heart pounding.
 
CHARLIE
 
I, uh, I just didn't think you wanted
 
that.
 
SAM
 
Well, what did you want?
 
CHARLIE
 
I just want you to be happy.
 
SAM
 
Don't you get it, Charlie? I can't feel
 
that. It's really sweet and everything,
 
but you can't just sit there and put
 
everybody's lives ahead of yours and
 
think that counts as love. I don't want
 
to be somebody's crush. I want people to
 
like the real me.
 
CHARLIE
 
I know who you are, Sam.
 
Sam waits. And Charlie finally speaks from the heart.
 
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
 
I know I'm quiet, and I know I should
 
speak more, but if you knew the things
 
that were in my head most of the time,
 
you'd know what it really meant. How
 
much we are alike. And how we've been
 
through the same things. And you're not
 
small. You're beautiful.
 
He can't contain himself anymore. He moves to her and kisses
 
her. They stand. Move to the bed. Kissing. Charlie's
 
heart pounds. They sit on the bed. Still kissing.
 
We see her fingertips. Her hand on Charlie's knee. When she
 
touches him, Charlie pulls away from her. Shocked. Like
 
he's seen a ghost. It hits Charlie like freezing water.
 
SAM
 
What's wrong, Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
Oh, ah... nothing.
 
Charlie shakes off whatever was bothering him and continues
 
82.
 
149 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - MORNING 149
 
It's like a dream for Charlie. He watches Sam hug Alice and
 
Mary Elizabeth goodbye. But Charlie is somewhere else.
 
SAM
 
I'll call all the time.
 
MARY ELIZABETH
 
Promise.
 
SAM
 
And we'll all see each other in New York.
 
SAM'S MOM
 
Come on, Sam.
 
Charlie can't take it. He moves to the side of the truck and
 
puts in the last suitcase. He looks over at Sam.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
150 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 150
 
QUICK FLASH... Charlie remembers kissing Sam the night
 
before. Her hand touches Charlie's knee.
 
BACK TO PRESENT:
 
151 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - MORNING 151
 
Charlie snaps himself out of it. He turns back as Mary
 
Elizabeth and Alice part ways. Charlie locks eyes with Sam.
 
They take a moment. And then they come together to hug. She
 
kisses him goodbye, trying not to cry.
 
After a moment, Sam climbs into the driver's seat of her
 
truck with Patrick riding shotgun. Charlie looks dazed.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
152 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 152
 
QUICK FLASH... Charlie remembers pulling away from Sam.
 
Shocked. Like he's seen a ghost.
 
SAM
 
What's wrong, Charlie?
 
BACK TO PRESENT:
 
83.
 
153 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - MORNING 153
 
Sam starts the truck. Charlie wants to scream for her to
 
stop. But he's frozen. She drives away. He watches her go.
 
The truck gets smaller in the distance until it turns at the
 
stop sign. And disappears. Charlie stands there, alone.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
154 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 154
 
QUICK FLASH... Charlie remembers the night with Sam. We see
 
her put her hand on his knee. The image moves up the arm.
 
To the shoulder. To the face. And we reveal, we are not in
 
Sam's bedroom. And it is not Sam touching Charlie. But...
 
Aunt Helen
 
AUNT HELEN
 
Don't wake your sister.
 
BACK TO REALITY:
 
155 EXT. SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE - MORNING 155
 
The memory only registers as a small blink of his eye.
 
Charlie sees his friends are crying. He's not. He's numb.
 
156 EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING 156
 
Charlie walks down the street. His eyes far away. The
 
images and memories are short, violent bursts. If you've
 
never had an anxiety attack, this is how it feels.
 
157 EXT. CHARLIE'S STREET - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 157
 
QUICK FLASH. It's Christmas Eve. Aunt Helen smiles to
 
Little Charlie.
 
AUNT HELEN
 
It'll be our little secret, okay?
 
Little Charlie nods.
 
158 EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING (PRESENT) 158
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie walks toward us on the sidewalk.
 
We see him through a long lens. His image fractures. We see
 
him in different planes of the image. He's beginning to
 
break apart. One image. Two images.
 
84.
 
159 INT. CHARLIE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 159
 
QUICK FLASH. Little Candace is asleep on the floor. Aunt
 
Helen sits next to Little Charlie on the sofa.
 
AUNT HELEN
 
Look, Charlie. She's fast asleep.
 
160 EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING (PRESENT) 160
 
BACK TO PRESENT. We see Charlie fracturing. The pieces
 
scattered. Out of focus. Lost. He's all over the frame.
 
161 INT. CHARLIE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 161
 
QUICK FLASH. Aunt Helen points to Little Candace.
 
AUNT HELEN
 
Don't wake your sister.
 
162 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DAY (PRESENT) 162
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie enters his house.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
163 INT. AUNT HELEN'S CAR - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 163
 
QUICK FLASH. Aunt Helen gets hit by the semi-truck.
 
164 INT. ENTRY HALL - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) 164
 
QUICK FLASH. Little Charlie's mom opens the door to reveal a
 
policeman.
 
165 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DAY (PRESENT) 165
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie is in the same entry hall in the
 
same house 8 years later. Banging his head against the wall.
 
"It's my fault. It's all my fault."
 
He passes the photo wall on the stairs. We see the images of
 
the family. Church. Communion. Baby pictures. Years of
 
history staring at us. Ghosts on the wall.
 
166 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY (PRESENT) 166
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie sits at his desk. We see him from
 
behind. Perfectly still. Trying to keep himself calm.
 
CHARLIE
 
Stop crying.
 
85.
 
167 INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - DAY (FLASHBACK) 167
 
QUICK FLASH. Charlie thinks everyone is staring at him. His
 
sister and her friends. His brother and mother. Mary
 
Elizabeth and Alice. And worst of all... Sam and Patrick the
 
night they toasted him. A paranoid nightmare.
 
168 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY (PRESENT) 168
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie's falling to pieces. The tears run
 
down his face.
 
CHARLIE
 
Stop crying.
 
169 INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - VARIOUS TIMES (FANTASY) 169
 
QUICK FLASH. Derek hits Candace. Patrick hits Brad. The
 
cafeteria erupts into violence.
 
And Charlie remembers what he's blacked out.
 
We see him in the cafeteria. Terrifying. He thinks he sees
 
Aunt Helen as he breaks the Linebacker's nose. Hits another
 
in the throat. And pushes another. Charlie looks at his
 
hand, covered in blood. The whole school staring at him.
 
170 INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY (PRESENT) 170
 
BACK TO PRESENT. Charlie holds his head. Trying to stuff
 
the pictures back in his brain. But he can't. They keep
 
coming and coming, faster and faster. Sam's hand, Little
 
Charlie on top of the stairs, the police telling him Aunt
 
Helen is dead.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
It'll be our little secret.
 
We go behind his head. The image moves closer and closer.
 
Until it feels like we are inside Charlie's mind.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
171 EXT. HOUSE SWIMMING POOL - DAY 171
 
We see Candace hanging out with her girlfriends at a friend's
 
backyard pool. Her FRIEND (18, pretty) holds the cordless.
 
CANDACE'S FRIEND
 
Candace... your brother's on the phone.
 
Candace casually picks up the phone.
 
86.
 
CANDACE
 
Hello.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Hey, Candace.
 
CANDACE
 
Charlie?
 
CHARLIE
 
Sam and Patrick left, and um, I just
 
can't stop thinking something.
 
CANDACE
 
What?
 
CHARLIE
 
Candace, I killed Aunt Helen, didn't I?
 
She died getting my birthday present, so
 
I guess I killed her, right? I've tried
 
to stop thinking that, but I can't. She
 
keeps driving away and dying over and
 
over.
 
Candace looks like she got hit with ice water. She knows her
 
brother. She knows this voice. Candace covers the phone.
 
CANDACE
 
Call the police and send them to my
 
house.
 
CHARLIE
 
And I can't stop her. I'm crazy again.
 
CANDACE
 
No, Charlie, listen to me. Mom and dad
 
are going to be home with Chris any
 
second.
 
CHARLIE
 
I was just thinking... what if I wanted
 
her to die, Candace?
 
CANDACE
 
What? Charlie... Charlie!
 
Dial tone.
 
172 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DAY 172
 
We begin in the house. It's silent. The hallway. The entry
 
hall. The empty bedroom. Charlie's typewriter on his desk.
 
87.
 
It's all so quiet. And then, we see Charlie walking down the
 
hallway. He turns the corner and enters the...
 
MATCH CUT TO:
 
173 INT. CHARLIE'S KITCHEN - DAY (PAST AND PRESENT) 173
 
Kitchen. One room. Charlie doesn't know where he is
 
anymore. The past and present have bled together.
 
QUICK FLASH. We see Little Charlie turn the corner into the
 
kitchen. BACK TO PRESENT as 16 year old Charlie stands in
 
the same kitchen, breathing shallow.
 
QUICK FLASH. 7 year old Charlie walks up to Aunt Helen
 
sitting at the kitchen table. BACK TO PRESENT as 16 year old
 
Charlie begins to have a full blown anxiety attack.
 
QUICK FLASH. 7 year old Charlie takes Aunt Helen's hand and
 
turns it over... to reveal her wrist scars.
 
BACK TO PRESENT as Charlie looks from the table to the
 
counter with the bread and the KNIVES. He stares at the
 
knives for a moment. Just as...
 
The Policemen break down the door.
 
SMASH CUT TO:
 
174 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT 174
 
We see Charlie's reflection in the window. The door opens
 
slowly, and his psychiatrist, Dr. Burton, enters. She finds
 
him sitting in the corner. He has been crying.
 
DR. BURTON
 
Charlie? I'm Dr. Burton.
 
CHARLIE
 
Where am I?
 
DR. BURTON
 
Mayview hospital.
 
This news hits Charlie hard. He begins to panic.
 
CHARLIE
 
You have to let me go. My dad can't
 
afford it.
 
DR. BURTON
 
Don't worry about that.
 
88.
 
CHARLIE
 
No. I saw them when I was little. And I
 
don't want to be a Mayview kid. Just
 
tell me how to stop it.
 
DR. BURTON
 
Stop what?
 
CHARLIE
 
Seeing it. All their lives. All the
 
time. Just... how do you stop seeing it?
 
DR. BURTON
 
Seeing what, Charlie?
 
Charlie breaks.
 
CHARLIE
 
There is so much pain. And I don't know
 
how to not notice it.
 
DR. BURTON
 
What's hurting you?
 
CHARLIE
 
No! Not me. It's them. It's everyone.
 
It never stops. Do you understand?
 
Dr. Burton smiles, sympathetic. Charlie nods, relieved that
 
someone finally understands. Until...
 
DR. BURTON
 
What about your Aunt Helen?
 
Like cold water. What was tears is now confusion and soon to
 
be shame. Dr. Burton is gentle to him.
 
CHARLIE
 
What about her?
 
DR. BURTON
 
Can you see her?
 
CHARLIE
 
Yes, she had a terrible life. But... I
 
mean, what am I...
 
DR. BURTON
 
You said some things about her in your
 
sleep.
 
CHARLIE
 
I don't care.
 
89.
 
DR. BURTON
 
If you want to get better, you have to--
 
Charlie looks at her, nodding her encouragement.
 
CHARLIE
 
She was... insane.
 
The minute he says one word of truth, he feels ashamed. He
 
stops talking. Dr. Burton does not press him. Not today.
 
DR. BURTON
 
Charlie, are you going to let me help you
 
here?
 
Charlie cries and nods.
 
CHARLIE
 
Okay.
 
DR. BURTON
 
Do you remember anything before you
 
blacked out?
 
CHARLIE
 
I, uh... I remember leaving Sam's house,
 
and walking home...
 
We move away from them as Charlie's voice trails off.
 
175 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING 175
 
The sun creeps through the windows. We can hear birds
 
outside. The intercom is quiet. Charlie is alone. He looks
 
at Sam's typewriter. "Dear Friend" is already typed.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I was in the hospital for awhile. I won't
 
go into detail about all of it. But I
 
will say there were some very bad days.
 
And some unexpected beautiful days.
 
Charlie picks up a get well card from Sam.
 
176 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - DAY 176
 
Dr. Burton walks Charlie's parents down the hallway.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
The worst day was the time my doctor told
 
my mom and dad what Aunt Helen did to me.
 
In the distance, we see Charlie's mom and dad stop. Shocked.
 
90.
 
177 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY 177
 
Charlie looks up and sees his mom and dad in the doorway.
 
MOTHER
 
Honey?
 
His mother comes to hold him.
 
MOTHER (CONT'D)
 
I'm so sorry.
 
For a second, we see the emotion his father hides behind the
 
sports page, before he chokes it down. He walks over to his
 
son and kisses his forehead.
 
178 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING 178
 
Charlie, Chris, and Candace sit on the bed, playing cards.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
The best days were those when I could
 
have visitors. My brother and sister
 
always came for those until Chris had to
 
go to training camp. He's going to be
 
first string this year. And my sister
 
told me she met a nice guy at her summer
 
job.
 
179 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - AFTERNOON 179
 
Charlie leaves his room with his suitcase in hand. His
 
mother waits in the hallway with Dr. Burton.
 
DR. BURTON
 
There he is. So, I'll see you Thursday
 
at 6, right?
 
Charlie nods and leaves the hospital with his mother.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
My doctor said we can't choose where we
 
can come from, but we can choose where we
 
go from there. I know it's not all the
 
answers, but it was enough to start
 
putting these pieces together.
 
Dr. Burton smiles, then turns back into the hospital.
 
180 INT. CHARLIE'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT 180
 
The family sits at the dinner table.
 
91.
 
FATHER
 
God bless this food that we are about to
 
receive. We thank You for this bounty in
 
the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
 
After they say "Amen," the room falls silent. The family is
 
on pins and needles. No one touches their food. Until...
 
CHARLIE
 
How do you think the Penguins are going
 
to do this year, dad?
 
FATHER
 
God damn Penguins. I think they're
 
allergic to God damn defense.
 
CHARLIE
 
What do the players call a puck again?
 
FATHER
 
A biscuit.
 
CANDACE
 
Are you sure it's not a "God damn
 
biscuit?"
 
FATHER
 
You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
 
As things return to normal, dad picks up his paper. Candace
 
talks about the books she'll need for college. Everyone
 
starts eating. And Charlie smiles, happy to just be home.
 
181 INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - DUSK 181
 
Ding dong. The door opens to reveal Patrick, smiling.
 
PATRICK
 
Can Charlie come out and play?
 
Charlie's mother smiles. Charlie smiles, too. Especially
 
when he sees... Sam. Standing next to Patrick. Her hair a
 
little different. Her eyes alive and happy.
 
182 INT. KINGS FAMILY RESTAURANT - NIGHT 182
 
The gang of three sit at their booth. Sam and Patrick have
 
their coffee. Charlie has his brownie. Like always.
 
SAM
 
That first night, I had grilled stickies.
 
It was so good. You have to visit in the
 
Fall. We'll have some. Okay?
 
92.
 
CHARLIE
 
Definitely.
 
PATRICK
 
Sorry, Sam. Charlie has a breakdown
 
scheduled for October.
 
Charlie laughs. Sam smiles. After a beat...
 
SAM
 
Well, can I tell you something? I've
 
been away for two months. It's another
 
world. And it gets better.
 
(off Charlie's smile)
 
And my roommate Katie has the best taste
 
in music.
 
Sam puts a cassette tape down on the table.
 
SAM (CONT'D)
 
I found the tunnel song.
 
Charlie looks at Sam and Patrick, who smile.
 
SAM (CONT’D)
 
Let's drive.
 
183 EXT. KINGS FAMILY RESTAURANT - NIGHT 183
 
The three leave the restaurant and jump into Sam's truck.
 
Patrick drives. Charlie in the middle. Sam the passenger.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I don't know if I will have the time to
 
write any more letters because I might be
 
too busy trying to participate. So, if
 
this does end up being the last letter, I
 
just want you to know that I was in a bad
 
place before I started high school. And
 
you helped me.
 
184 INT. SAM'S TRUCK - NIGHT 184
 
The three friends are flying down the highway in Sam's truck.
 
The music blaring. The wind making their hair dance.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Even if you didn't know what I was
 
talking about. Or know someone who's
 
gone through it. It made me not feel
 
alone.
 
With Sam's help, Charlie climbs through the little window
 
93.
 
185 EXT. HIGHWAY 376 NORTH - NIGHT 185
 
Charlie gets into the back of the truck. He sits down,
 
looking back at the highway. Watching everywhere he's been.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
Because I know there are people who say
 
all of these things don't happen. And
 
there are people who forget what it's
 
like to be 16 when they turn 17.
 
We see Charlie in profile. The night sky behind him until...
 
186 INT. FORT PITT TUNNEL - NIGHT 186
 
... they enter the tunnel, and we realize just how fast
 
they're driving. The white tiles of the tunnel whiz by at
 
blinding speed. A perfect night. A perfect drive. Flying.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.)
 
I know these will all be stories someday.
 
And our pictures will become old
 
photographs. And we'll all become
 
somebody's mom or dad. But right now,
 
these moments are not stories.
 
Charlie turns to face forward. To the moment. To Sam,
 
Smiling at him from the front seat.
 
CHARLIE (V.O) (CONT'D)
 
This is happening. I am here. And I am
 
Looking at her. And she is so beautiful.
 
Sam kisses Charlie. Then, she turns, and all three kids look
 
Ahead to everything in front of them. Charlie begins to
 
Stand in the back of the truck. Ready to leave the tunnel.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
I can see it. This one moment when you
 
know you're not a sad story. You are
 
alive. And as you stand up and see the
 
lights on buildings and everything that
 
makes you wonder. And you are listening
 
to that song on that drive with the
 
people you love most in this world.
 
Charlie stands in the back of the truck. The wind on his
 
face. He is free.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
And in this moment, I swear...
 
94.
 
We see the moment as Charlie sees it. The tunnel's exit
 
getting bigger and brighter with the lights of the city
 
behind it.
 
CHARLIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
 
... we are infinite.
 
The tunnel song blasts over the speakers as the truck flies
 
out of the tunnel. Sam and Patrick scream with excitement.
 
Charlie holds his arms in the air. The weight of the world
 
gone. If only for a moment. This one moment. We see the
 
city. A million lights like white stars in a glass dome. We
 
crane to the sky. We are in Heaven.
 
FADE OUT.
 

Latest revision as of 05:49, 23 March 2020


I am writing to you
because she said you listen and understand.
And didn't try to sleep
with that person at that party...
even though you could have.
Please, don't try to figure out who I am.
I don't want you to do that.
I just need to know that
people like you exist.
Like, if you met me you wouldn't...
think I was the weird kid
who spent time in the hospital.
And I wouldn't make you nervous.
I hope it's okay for me to think that.
You see, I haven't really
talked to anyone...
outside of my family all summer.
But tomorrow is my first day
of high school ever.
And I need to turn things around.
So I have a plan.
As I enter the school for the first time...
I will visualize what it will be like...
on the last day of my senior year.
Unfortunately, I counted and that's...
Hop, freshman toads! Hop! Let's move it!
We worked out all summer. Rock hard.
Hey, you know what?
Why don't you guys get a room?
Just 1,385 days.
In the meantime, I'd hoped that my sister,
Candace, and her boyfriend, Derek...
would have let me eat lunch
with their Earth Club.
Seniors only.BITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHH
What are you doing with that plastic spork?
I don't wanna bring back silverware.
Derek, you're Earth Club treasurer.
Come on!
When my sister said "No," I thought...
maybe my old friend Susan
would wanna have lunch with me.
In middle school,
Susan was very fun to be around...
but now she doesn't
like to say "Hi" to me anymore.
And then there's Brad Hays.
Before my older brother
went to play football for Penn State...
he and Brad played together...
so I thought maybe he'd say "Hi" to me.
But Brad's a senior.
And I'm me. So who am I kidding?
On the bright side...
one senior decided to make fun of the
teacher instead of the freshmen.
He even drew on Mr. Callahan's
legendary goatee...
with a grease pencil.
The prick punch is not a toy.
I learned that back in 'Nam in '68.
"Callahan," sergeant said...
"you put down that prick punch.
You go kill some gooks."
And you know what happened?
That prick punch killed my best friend
in a Saigon whorehouse.
I heard you were gonna be in my class.
Are you proud to be a senior...
having to take freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
Look, my name is Patrick.
Either you call me Patrick
or you call me nothing.
Okay, Nothing.
I felt really bad for Patrick.
He wasn't doing the impersonation
to be mean or anything.
He was just trying
to make us freshmen feel better.
Nothing, why don't you read first?
All right. "Chapter One."
Surviving your fascist shop teacher...
"who needs to put kids down to feel big."
this is useful, guys. We should read on.
My last class of the day
is Advanced English...
and I'm really excited to finally learn...
with the smartest kids in the school.
Nice Trapper Keeper, faggot.
Believe it or not, she's gotten
straight A's since kindergarten.
I'm Mr. Anderson.
I'm gonna be your teacher
for freshman English.
This semester we're gonna learn about...
Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird.
Genius book.
Now, who'd like to get out
of the first pop quiz?
I'm shocked. All right.
Well, you can skip the quiz...
if you tell me which author
invented the paperback book.
Anyone?
He was British.
He also invented the serial.
In fact, at the end of
the third chapter of his first novel...
he had a man hanging from
a cliff by his fingernails.
Hence the term "cliff hanger."
Anybody?
- Yeah?
- Shakespeare.
That's a great guess, but no.
Shakespeare didn't write novels.
Anybody else?
The author...
was Charles Dickens.
However, if you and I had
gone to a Shakespeare play...
it would have cost us four pennies.
Can you imagine that?
We would have put those
pennies in a metal box.
The ushers would lock it in the office.
And that's where we get the term...
Cash register.
Office Max.
I'll give you a free "A" on anything...
except the final term
paper if you get it right.
Box office.
You should learn to participate.
Why didn't you raise your hand?
They call you the "teacher's pet"?
"Freak"? That kinda thing?
I used to get "spaz."
I mean, come on, "spaz"?
You know, I heard
you had a tough time last year.
But they say if you make one friend...
on your first day, you're doing okay.
Thank you, sir, but if
my English teacher...
is the only friend I make today...
that would be sort of depressing.
Yeah, I can see that.
Don't worry, Mr. Anderson, I'm okay.
Thanks.
I would happily not take shop...
Hey, freshman toad.
Well, I have 1,384 days to go.
Just so I say it to someone...
high school is even worse
than middle school.
If my parents ask me about it...
I probably won't tell them the truth...
because I don't want them...
to worry that I might get bad again.
If my Aunt Helen were still here,
I could talk to her...
and I know she would understand...
how I'm both happy and sad.
And I'm still trying
to figure out how that could be.
I just hope I make a friend soon.
Love always, Charlie.
Charlie? Come on.
This chicken paprikash is delicious.
Thank you, Derek. It's Charlie's favorite.
He was a little nervous about starting high
school today, so I made it for him.
Feel a little silly
about being nervous now, Champ?
Yes, sir. I sure do.
I told you, just give 'em a smile...
and be yourself.
- That's how you...
- Make friends in the real world.
You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
Freshman year is tough, but...
you really find yourself.
Thanks, Derek.
You could have been a
little nicer to Derek.
I'm sorry, the kid's a pussy.
I can't stand him.
- I really hope you love the mix tape I made.
- I do.
- The cover is hand-painted.
- Oh, wow.
Hey, Charlie, you want this?
Are you sure?
He gives me one every week.
Hey, babe.
This next one might be a little sad,
but it reminded me of your eyes.
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed
Sing me to sleep
Did you already do the term paper on
To Kill a Mockingbird?
No.
Get him.
Don't try to wake me
in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go
Let's go, Devils!
Right. Come on, offense!
- Hey, Nothing.
- Hey, Nothing.
Oh, suck it, virginity pledges.
Suck it.
Oh, you're in trouble now, Jaguars!
Hey, Patrick.
Hey. You're in my shop class, right?
How's your clock coming?
My dad's building it for me.
Yeah. Mine looks like a boat.
You wanna sit over here
or are you waiting for your friends?
No, no, no, I'll sit.
Thanks for not calling
me Nothing by the way.
It's an endless nightmare.
And these assholes,
they actually think they're being original.
So do you like football?
Love it. Love football.
Maybe you know my brother then.
Hey, Sam.
Question. Could the bathrooms
here be more disgusting?
Yes. They call it the men's room.
Oh. So I finally got hold of Bob.
Party tonight?
He's still trying to shag
that waitress from the Olive Garden.
He's never tossing that salad.
Come on!
Patrick.
Yeah?
Who's this?
This is-
Charlie Kelmeckis.
Kelmeckis?
No shit? Your sister's dating
Ponytail Derek, isn't she?
- God.
- Is that what they call him?
Would you leave Ponytail Derek alone?
You put the "ass" in "class," Patrick.
I try. Sam, I try.
It's nice to meet you, Charlie.
I'm Sam.
- What's the plan? Are we going to Mary Elizabeth's tonight?
- Nope.
She got caught watering down her parents'
brandy with iced tea.
Let's just go to Kings.
All right. We're goin' to Kings
after the game if you wanna come.
Do you have a favorite band?
Well, I think The Smiths are my favorite.
Are you kidding?
I love The Smiths. Best breakup band ever.
What's your favorite song?
"Asleep." It's from Louder than Bombs.
I heard it on Ponytail Derek's mix tape.
Oh, that works on so many levels.
I can make you guys a copy if you want.
- What about Eides? You love Eides, right?
- Yeah, of course. They're great.
Not a band, Charlie.
It's a record store downtown.
Things sound so much better on vinyl.
You know, I used to be popular
before Sam got me some good music.
So you be careful.
She'll ruin your life forever.
That's okay.
- Hey, Nothing.
- Hey, Nothing.
Let it go! Jesus!
It's an antique joke. It's over.
So what are you gonna do when you
get outta this place?
Well, my Aunt Helen said
I should be a writer...
but I don't know what I'd write about.
You could write about us.
Yeah! Call it Slut and the Falcon.
Make us solve crimes.
You guys seem really happy together.
How long have you been
boyfriend and girlfriend?
He's not my boyfriend. He's my stepbrother.
My mom finally left my worthless dad...
and married his nice dad
when we moved here.
But she's not bitter or anything.
Make no mistake.
Absolutely not. Charlie, I'm not a bulimic.
- I'm a bulim-ist.
- I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.
She just really believes in bulimia.
I love bulimia!
Hey. Thanks for paying, Charlie.
Oh, no problem. Thank
you guys for the ride.
Maybe I'll see you around in school?
- God, would you turn it down? You're gonna make us deaf.
- So be it. It's rock and roll.
Bye, Charlie!
- Bye, Charlie.
- Okay, bye.
Your mom says,
"Don't go to Columbia with Candace, Derek."
- Shut...
- "Don't go to Columbia!"
Do you always want to
be a mama's boy, Derek?
I am not a mama's boy!
You are, because
every single time I go to your house...
Every single time!
Shut up, Candace!
You just stand there
like a little bitch dog.
No. Charlie...
Charlie, just go. I can handle it.
Just don't wake up Mom and Dad.
Hey! Look who's here.
Welcome home, Aunt Helen.
Look at you guys.
Dressed so nice.
Hey, Candace.
What are you doing?
Look, I egged him on. You saw it.
He's never hit me before, and I promise
you, he will never hit me again.
Like Aunt Helen's boyfriends?
Charlie, this is Ponytail Derek.
I can handle him.
Do you trust me?
Please, don't tell Mom and Dad.
Oh, my God, they're playing good music!
Holy shit. Holy shit! They are!
They're playing good music.
- Living room routine.
- Living room routine.
- Yes.
- Yes!
Excuse us. Excuse me. Pardon.
Sorry.
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
Moved a million hearts
in mono
Our mothers cried
- Sang along, who'd blame them?
- Come on, Eileen
Too-rye-loo-rye,
Too-rye-loo-rye-ay
And we can sing
just like our fathers
Come on, Eileen
- Oh, I swear
- What he means
At this moment
you mean everything
You in that dress
My thoughts, I confess
Verge on dirty
Oh, come on, Eileen
Come on, Eileen
Too-loo-rye-ay
Come on, Eileen
Too-loo-rye-ay
Now you're full grown
Now you have shown
Eileen
Come on, Eileen
These things they are real
and I know how you feel
Now I must say
more than ever
Things round here
have changed
I said, too-loo-rye
Too-loo-rye-ay
God, it's freezing!
But you wore that toasty costume.
It's not like it's cute or original.
- You'd hope it would be warm.
- Yeah, piss off, Tennessee Tuxedo.
Are you sure it's okay that I come?
Yeah, of course.
Just remember, Charlie, Bob's not paranoid.
He's sensitive.
Sam!
That waitress from the Olive Garden,
she was such a tease.
Will you marry me?
Only with Patrick's blessing.
Patrick?
You are a hopeless stoner
who attends the culinary institute.
I'm gonna say "no" on that,
but nice try. Charlie.
Oh, touch.
So, Charlie. This is a party.
This is what fun looks like.
Are you ready to meet some desperate women?
Here, have a seat.
Hey, ladies.
Meet Charlie.
- Hi.
- Meet ladies.
- Hey.
- Mary Elizabeth.
- Alice.
- Nice to meet you.
This is Charlie's first party ever.
So I expect nice, meaningful,
heartfelt blowjobs from both of you.
- Patrick, you're such a dick.
- Where the hell did you go?
- The dance was a little boring, don't you think?
- You are so selfish.
We looked everywhere for you.
You could have told someone.
Cry me a river.
How is it that you've got meaner since
becoming a Buddhist?
Just lucky, I guess.
No, you're doing something wrong, I think.
Or something very right.
- Yeah, well...
- Hey!
Look who's here.
Is that Brad Hays?
Yeah. He comes here sometimes.
But he's a popular kid.
Then what are we?
Oh, Charlie! You look like
you could use a brownie.
Thank you.
I was so hungry at the dance.
I was gonna go to Kings...
but I didn't really have any time.
Thanks.
Have you guys felt this carpet?
This carpet feels so darn good.
Charlie, Charlie,
what do you think about high school?
High school?
Bullshit.
The cafeteria is called
the Nutrition Center.
People wear their letter jackets
even when it's 98 degrees out.
And why do they give out
letter jackets to marching band?
It's not a sport.
We all know it.
This kid is crazy.
Mary Elizabeth,
I think you're really gonna regret that...
you know-haircut when you
look back at old photographs.
Oh, my God!
I'm really sorry.
That sounded like a compliment in my head.
My God!
Well, it's kinda true.
Shut up!
I can't even be mad at him. Look at him.
Bob, did you get him stoned?
Come on, Sam, he likes
it, just look at him.
How do you feel, Charlie?
I just really want a milk shake.
Sam...
You have such pretty brown eyes.
The kind of pretty that deserves to make...
a big deal about itself though,
you know what I mean?
Okay, Charlie. Let me make the milk shake.
What a great word. Milk shake.
It's like when you say your name over
and over again in the mirror...
and after a while it sounds crazy.
So I'm guessing you've
never been high before?
No. No, no, no.
My best friend, Michael,
his dad was a big drinker...
so he hated all that stuff.
Parties too.
Well, where is Michael tonight?
Oh, he shot himself last May.
I kinda wished he'd left a note.
You know what I mean?
Where's the bathroom?
It's up the stairs.
Thanks, Sam.
You're so nice.
Charlie.
Weird.
Charlie.
What...
Who was that kid?
Relax. Relax. He's a friend of mine.
Stay here.
I didn't see anything.
Yeah, I know you saw something,
but it's okay.
Okay, listen...
Brad doesn't want anyone to know.
Wait.
- Are you baked?
- Like a cake.
That's what Bob said.
And you can't have three on a match
because then they'd find us.
And everybody laughed
but I don't understand what's funny.
Okay, Charlie, listen.
I need you to promise...
that you're not gonna say anything
to anyone about me and Brad.
Okay? This has to be our little secret.
Our little secret. Agreed.
Okay.
Thank you.
We'll talk later.
I look forward to that big talk.
Can I have your cherry?
Isn't this the best milk shake ever, Alice?
It's even better than the first one.
Charlie just told me that
his best friend shot himself.
I don't think he has any friends.
Hey, everyone!
Everybody!
Everyone...
raise your glasses to Charlie.
- What did I do?
- You didn't do anything.
We just wanna toast to our new friend.
You see things.
And you understand.
You're a wallflower.
What is it? What's wrong?
I didn't think anyone noticed me.
Well, we didn't think
there was anyone cool left to meet.
So come on, everyone.
To Charlie.
To Charlie.
Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys.
Oh, my God! What is this song?
Right? I have no idea.
Have you ever heard this before?
Never.
Patrick, we've gotta go through the tunnel.
Sam, it's freezing.
Patrick, It's the perfect song.
No. Mama Patrick says "No."
Patrick. It's Sam.
It's Sam speaking to you right now.
I'm begging you to do this for me.
I concede!
What is she doing?
Oh, don't worry. She does it all the time.
Turn it up!
You got it, your highness.
We can be heroes
Just for one day
I
I will be king
And you
What?
I feel infinite.
And nothing
Will drive them away
We can be heroes
Just for one day
Dear friend...
I'm sorry I haven't written for a while...
but I've been trying
hard not to be a loser.
For example, I'm trying to participate...
by listening to Sam's collection
of big rock ballads...
and thinking about love.
Sam says they're kitschy and brilliant.
I completely agree.
I'm also writing essays
and studying extra books outside of class.
As it turns out, Mr. Anderson is a writer.
He even had a play put
up in New York once...
which I think is very impressive.
Great Gatsby?
He and his wife might go back there
after this year.
I know this is selfish,
but I really hope he doesn't.
My favorite time, though, is lunch...
because I get to see Sam and Patrick.
We spend the time working on
Mary Elizabeth's fanzine...
about music and
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
It's called Punk Rocky.
Mary Elizabeth is really interesting...
because she's a Buddhist and a punk.
But somehow she always acts like my father
at the end of a long day.
Her best friend Alice loves vampires...
and wants to go to film school.
She also steals jeans from the mall.
I don't know why, because
her family is rich...
but I'm trying not to be judgmental.
Especially since I know that they
were all there for Patrick last year.
Patrick never likes to be serious...
so it took me a while to get what happened.
When he was a junior, Patrick started
seeing Brad on the weekends in secret.
I guess it was hard, too...
because Brad had to
get drunk every time they fooled around.
Then Monday in school, Brad would say...
"Man, I was so wasted I
don't remember a thing."
This went on for seven months.
When they finally did it,
Brad said he loved Patrick.
Then he started to cry.
No matter what Patrick did...
Brad kept saying that
his dad would kill him.
And saying that he was going to hell.
Patrick was eventually
able to help Brad get sober.
I asked Patrick if he felt sad...
that he still had to keep it a secret.
And he said "No," because at least now...
Brad doesn't have to get drunk to love him.
I think I understand,
because I really like Sam.
I asked my sister about her...
and she said that when
Sam was a freshman...
the upperclassmen used to
get her drunk at parties.
I guess she had a reputation.
But I don't care.
I'd hate for her to judge me based on
what I used to be like.
So I've been making her
a mix tape so she'll know how I feel.
Oh, shit!
- C!
- C!
- Give me a K!
- K!
- Give me a Y!
- Y!
What's that spell?
Rocky!
I can't hear you!
Rocky!
One more time!
Rocky!
Whatever happened
to Fay Wray?
She went ape-shit.
That delicate
Satin-draped frame
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
'Cause I wanted to be dressed
just the same
Give yourself over
To absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters
Of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares
Beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams
To treasure forever
Can't you just see it?
Don't dream it
Be it
That picture is gorgeous, Craig.
What did you use?
Oh, I know. Thank you.
Color film,
but black and white paper for printing.
Yeah. My professor gave me an A...
but for all the wrong reasons.
Most of them are idiots.
You'll see what I mean
when you get to college.
How'd your S.A.T.'s go, by the way?
Yeah, I hope so.
So-
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
But I got my S.A.T. results back.
Oops.
You can take them again, you know.
Yeah, it's just,
if I'm going to Penn State main campus...
I have to do much better.
I wish I would have studied freshman year.
It's a bit of a mess.
I'll help you study for the next one.
Will you?
Yeah. Of course.
Thanks, Charlie.
What's this?
It's just a mix tape. No big deal.
My parents have a good stereo, so...
It's all about that night in the tunnel.
I couldn't find that song
that we were listening to...
but, you know, I'm still
searching for it, so yeah.
That's okay.
These are great.
Nick Drake.
The Shaggs.
You have really good taste, Charlie.
Really?
Yeah.
Way better than me as a freshman.
I used to listen to the worst Top 40.
- No.
- Yeah, I did.
Then I heard this old song.
"Pearly Dewdrops' Drop."
And I thought someday I'd be at a
party in college or something...
and I'd look up and see
this person across the room.
And from that moment, I'd know...
everything was going to be okay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I hope it works out.
I don't know.
Craig would be
a big step up from her last boyfriend.
Yeah, no shit.
Who could forget Mr. Car Wash Loser?
I just hope she can stop playing dumb
with these guys.
I keep telling her, "Don't
make yourself small."
Can't save anybody.
Excuse me.
Man, your mix is morbidly sad, kid.
How about something
a little bit more upbeat?
Let's just see.
So Sam tells me you wanna be a writer.
Yeah.
Don't you write poetry, Craig?
Poetry writes me. You know?
Let's get this party started.
That was fast.
You want another one?
Yeah.
All right.
Mr. Anderson?
Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
Why do nice people choose
the wrong people to date?
Are we talking about anyone specific?
Well...
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Can we make them know
that they deserve more?
We can try.
- Hey.
- Hey, Sam. Didn't see you come in.
How's it goin'?
You wanna start work on
probability and statistics?
Yeah. Sure.
Page 291 in your book.
And I ordered you some breakfast.
The country breakfast.
Dad?
Can I have 30 dollars?
Twenty dollars?
What do you need 10 dollars for?
Sam's doing Secret Santa.
It's her favorite thing in the world.
Please?
Have fun.
Thanks.
Charlie.
This was my favorite book growing up.
This is my copy, but I want you to have it.
Thanks.
Have a great Christmas break.
You, too, Mr. Anderson.
Terrible stain.
That's pretty good, Charlie.
You gotta be kidding me.
If you fail me, you get me next semester.
C minus!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am below average!
- Below average!
- Below average!
Guys, 1210.
What?
No more applications! No more S.A.T.'s!
Thank you, Charlie!
All right. All right, guys, I got...
Multiple pairs of bluejeans.
This is a really tough one...
but I'm gonna have to guess Alice.
Wait.
Guys, a receipt! She actually paid!
I'm so touched!
Where's Craig?
Oh, he went home to Connecticut.
But he'll be back for New Year's Eve.
Sorry we won't be seeing him tonight.
All right, big brother by three weeks,
who's your Secret Santa?
I'll tell you, Sam.
This one's tough.
I have received a harmonica...
a Magnetic Poetry set...
a book about Harvey Milk...
and a mix tape with
the song "Asleep" on it twice.
I mean, I have no idea.
This collection of presents is so gay...
that I think I must have
given them to myself.
But despite that distinct possibility...
I'm gonna have to go with...
Drum roll.
Charlie.
Obviously.
Beautifully done.
All right, Charlie. It's your turn.
Okay.
Okey dokey.
I have received socks, pants,
a shirt and a belt.
I was ordered to wear
them all tonight, so...
Guessing my Secret Santa is Mary Elizabeth.
Now why do you say that?
You know, she bosses
people around sometimes.
Sorry.
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Sorry.
You'll be surprised to know
that your Secret Santa is actually me.
Why all the clothes?
Well, all the great writers
used to wear great suits.
So your last present
is on a towel rack in the bathroom.
Delve into our facilities.
Emerge a star.
Perfect.
Will you hand these out while I'm gone?
Wait a second.
There's only Secret Santa presents.
There's rules.
Mary Elizabeth, why are you
trying to eat Christmas?
Hand them out, Sam.
All right. Mary Elizabeth. For you.
Alice.
Thanks.
Bob.
And this one's for me.
"Alice, I know you'll get into NYU."
Forty dollars to print
Punk Rocky in color next time.
He knows me.
He really knows me.
All right, Charlie.
Come on out.
Get out here, buddy.
Come on, Charlie. Charlie!
Don't be shy.
Come out, come out, wherever...
Yeah!
What a display of man I have never seen!
Where are we going?
It's a surprise.
Is this your room?
So cool.
Thanks.
You got me a present?
After all your help
on my Penn State application?
Of course I did.
Open it!
I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
I'm really sorry we can't
be here for your birthday.
No, that's okay. I'm just sorry
you have to go back and visit your dad.
I'm in such a good mood
I don't think even he could ruin it.
I feel like I'm finally doing good.
You are.
Well, what about you?
When I met you,
you were this scared freshman.
Now look at you in that suit.
You're like a sexy English schoolboy.
I saw Mary Elizabeth checking you out.
No.
Innocent.
Worst kinda guys.
Never see you coming.
And parents love you.
That's, like...
extra danger.
Yeah, well, it hasn't worked so far.
You've never had a girlfriend?
Not even like a second grade Valentine?
Nope.
Have you ever kissed a girl?
No.
What about you?
Have I ever kissed a girl?
No, no. Your first kiss.
I was 11.
His name was Robert.
He used to come over to
the house all the time.
Was he your first boyfriend?
He was my...
He was my dad's boss.
You know, Charlie, I used to sleep
with guys who treated me like shit.
And get wasted all the time.
But now I feel like...
I have a chance. Like...
I can even get into a real college.
It's true. You can do it.
You really think so?
My aunt had that same thing
done to her, too.
And she turned her life around.
She must have been great.
She was my favorite person in the world.
Until now.
Charlie...
I know that you know I like Craig.
But I want to forget about that
for a minute, okay?
Okay.
I just wanna make sure
that the first person who kisses you...
loves you.
Okay?
Okay.
I love you, Charlie.
I love you, too.
I wanna do Secret Santa forever!
Have a good time at your mom's.
Thanks. And, listen, Charlie.
Because your birthday's on Christmas Eve...
I figure you don't get that many presents?
I thought you should have my clock.
From the heart.
Thank you, Patrick.
Bye.
Have a good one, guys.
I love you guys!
Hey!
Look who's here.
- Come here, little sister.
- Hey, Chris.
Hey, honey.
Ma, you look so thin.
You. Look at you.
Charlie.
Come on, I got dinner ready.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
Let's eat.
Make a wish, honey.
Can you see it, Charlie?
The luminaria is a landing strip
for Santa Claus.
Why don't you keep an eye out for him,
and I will be right back, okay?
Going to get your birthday present.
Hey.
God, I miss Mom's cooking.
You have no idea how good you have it.
I'm actually starting to hate pizza.
So how you liking school?
Well, I'm no braniac like you or Candace.
I'm doing okay.
Okay? You're playing in a bowl game.
How are you feeling, Charlie?
Good.
No, you know what I mean.
Is it bad tonight?
No.
I'm not picturing things anymore.
Or if I do, I can just shut it off.
Well, you know, Mom did say
that you have good friends now.
And maybe if it does get bad again...
you can just talk to them. Yeah?
Yeah.
Especially Sam. She's great.
I'm gonna ask her out at New Year's.
I think the time is right now.
- Body of Christ.
- Amen.
How long does this take to work?
Shovelin' snow?
I have to get this driveway clean.
And then...
I'm going to congratulate
you on being happy.
'Cause you deserve it.
You said that an hour ago.
Was that tonight?
Oh, I just...
saw this tree, but it was a dragon.
Then it was a tree again
and it just lied to me.
Okay, Charlie,
don't freak out. Give me this.
Calm down.
Look up.
Isn't it quiet?
Sam, do you think if people knew...
how crazy you really were,
no one would ever talk to you?
All the time.
So you wanna wear these glasses?
They'll protect you.
It's gonna be our little secret.
Did your older friends pressure you?
No one pressured me, Officer.
I would never do drugs. Never.
Then how did you happen to be passed out
on the ground at 6:00 in the morning?
Well, I... I was really tired.
And I was feeling feverish...
so I went outside
for a walk just to get some cold air.
I started seeing things, so I passed out.
You're seeing things again, Charlie?
Not really.
Nice suit.
It was a Christmas present.
Did you have fun on your break?
More fun than you're gonna
have today, Sinatra.
Nice look, jag-off.
I've called him 30 times.
What are we supposed to do?
We're going on in 10 minutes.
- They said in health class-
- Hello?
They say that about
L.S.D.just to scare you.
- Are you sure? You know I've seen...
- Charlie, you're fine, man.
Guys, we have an emergency.
Craig has flaked out on us again.
So I need a Rocky.
Brad?
No. No way. No. I'm not...
There's people out there. No.
Charlie, take off your clothes.
Then if anything grows
While you pose
I'll oil you up and rub you down
Down, down, down
And that's just one small fraction
of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand
And I need action
Toucha toucha
toucha touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me
Creature of the night
Maybe I can join the cast
as an alternate or something.
Well, we're filled up now...
but they're gonna
need people when we go to college.
We could put in a good word for you.
That'd be great. Thanks.
Yeah.
Charlie...
Have you heard of the Sadie Hawkins dance?
The one where the girl asks the guy?
Obviously, it is completely stupid.
And sexist. I mean, it's like
"Hey, thanks for the crumb."
And normally, I would just blow it off,
because school dances suck torture.
But, you know, it's my last year and...
Would you maybe wanna go with me?
You wanna go with me?
Yeah, I'm sick of macho guys.
Plus you looked really
cute in your costume.
So what do you say?
You must be Mary Elizabeth.
Yes.
It's so nice to meet you.
You, too, Mrs. Kelmeckis.
Charlie tells me you're a Buddhist.
- Please, come in.
- Okay.
A little closer together.
That looks nice.
Buddhist, I need you to
smile a little bit more.
There you go. Nice.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you having a good time?
Not really. How about you?
I mean, I don't know.
It's my first date, I don't
have much to compare it to.
You're doing fine.
Sorry Craig couldn't come.
Yeah. He said he didn't want to go to
some stupid high school dance.
I can't say I blame him really.
I don't know.
If you like it, he should come.
Thanks, Charlie.
Have a beautiful first date.
You deserve it.
I'll try not to make you too jealous.
Now just let it breathe.
It sure is a nice house.
Thanks.
Don't you just love old music?
Yeah.
Good. 'Cause I made you a mix of it.
I'd love to expose you
to great things like...
Billie Holiday and foreign films.
This merlot is really fancy.
Yeah. My dad collects wine,
but he doesn't drink.
That's kinda weird, isn't it?
I guess. Where are your parents?
Their club's hosting
a cotillion or something racist.
They'll be gone all night.
Sure is a nice fire.
Yeah.
When I'm done being a lobbyist...
I wanna move to a house
like this in Cape Cod.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Your heart is beating really fast.
Is it?
Here. Feel.
Charlie?
Do you like me?
You know what I mean.
I think so.
Don't be nervous.
Charlie.
I didn't know how tonight
was gonna go, but...
It's really nice, isn't it?
Yeah.
I just can't believe it.
You, of all people.
I just can't believe you're my boyfriend.
Shit! My parents! Shit!
- Here, zip this up.
- Okay. No, I got this.
Just zip it up like a normal zipper!
It's stuck. It's just...
Thank you.
See you Monday.
Dear friend...
sorry I haven't written for a while...
but things are a total disaster.
We're literally making
out and I'm in my bra...
Hello!
And the front door opens, it's my parents!
I probably should have been honest about...
how I didn't want to go out with
Mary Elizabeth after Sadie's, but...
I really didn't want to hurt her feelings.
You see, Mary Elizabeth
is a really nice person...
underneath the part of
her that hates everyone.
Hey!
And since I heard that
having a girlfriend makes you happy...
I tried hard to love her like I love Sam.
Can you believe it's almost
our 2-week anniversary?
Yeah, I know.
So I took her on double dates.
First foreign film.
Do you want butter on your popcorn?
Vegans don't eat butter.
And I tried not to mind
that she loves to hold hands...
even when her hands are sweaty.
And I had to admit something
really upsetting, but...
I'm tired of touching her boobs.
I thought maybe if she would just let me
pick the make-out music...
once in a while, we might have a chance.
And maybe if she didn't put down the books
that Mr. Anderson gives me.
Walden.
I read this in 7th grade.
I would have called it On Boring Pond.
Or if she would stop calling me the minute
I get home from school...
when I have absolutely nothing to talk
about other than the bus ride home.
Somehow she finds new things to say.
That dairy just sits with you.
You know, it walks with you.
She's on the phone right now?
Charlie, you've gotta break up with her.
I can do that?
For Christ's sake, I need to use the phone.
I got you this book.
It's really how I became a vegan.
I know I should have been honest...
but I was getting so mad,
it was starting to scare me.
I mean the way they treat those-
I just wish I could have
found another way to break up.
Mary Elizabeth, can I talk to you...
Charlie, please don't interrupt.
You know I hate that.
In hindsight, I probably
could not have picked...
a worse way to be honest with
Mary Elizabeth.
Truth or dare?
Who are you talking to?
I dare you to kiss Alice.
Gird your loins, procreator.
Oh, my God.
Mary Elizabeth, Samantha told me
that you got into Harvard. Congratulations.
Thank you. This one still
hasn't gotten me flowers.
But I forgive you.
Hey, don't worry about Penn State.
You're just wait-listed.
Yeah.
You guys are about to miss
some severely hot fag-on-goth action.
Get a room.
You're a monster.
My turn. Let's see.
Let's think. Charlie.
Truth.
How's your first relationship going?
It's so bad...
that I keep fantasizing
that one of us is dying of cancer.
So that I don't have to break up with her.
Charlie? Truth or dare?
Hello?
Dare.
Okay, I dare you
to kiss the prettiest girl in the room...
on the lips.
And notice I charitably said
"girl" and not "person"...
because, let's face it,
I'd smoke all you bitches.
Oh, that's fucked up.
Mary Elizabeth.
I'm so sorry.
It was a mistake, I'm sorry.
Sam? Sam?
I really didn't mean anything by it.
I'm sorry.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I should go back and apologize.
Charlie, trust me,
you don't wanna go back in there.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to do anything.
I know you didn't.
But, look-
I hate to be the one to break this...
but there's history with
Mary Elizabeth and Sam.
Other guys and things that have
nothing to do with you.
It's best if you just
stay away for a while.
Oh, okay.
How long do you think?
Charlie.
Come on, get dressed.
You're gonna be late for Easter Mass.
I'll be there in a minute.
Our Father,
who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be
done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread...
and forgive us our trespasses...
as we forgive those who
trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us...
Mary Elizabeth, I've been listening
to the Billie Holiday CD every night.
It's too late, Charlie.
I know.
I just feel really bad about what I did.
I just get so messed up inside.
Like I'm not there or something.
Tell it to someone who cares.
Look, I know. I'm sorry.
Just we've all become such good friends.
Good friends?
Do you mean the people
that I've known since kindergarten...
and you've known for six months?
Those good friends?
Yeah, I mean, I just don't wanna do
anything to ruin our relationship.
It's ruined. Okay?
So stop calling everyone.
Stop embarrassing yourself.
Okay, I will. Good...
- Something's wrong with me.
- Don't worry about it.
Hey, have you heard from Patrick?
No, he told me to stay away.
You don't know.
Why? Why? What happened?
Brad's father caught them together.
Some kids jumped him outside the O.
No, it was some kids from North Hills.
Did you see his face?
That's not what I heard.
Are you okay?
Not now, Charlie. I'm sorry.
Hey, Nothing.
Oops. Sorry, Nothing.
You gonna do anything?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about
your pet ape just tripped me.
Gonna say something?
- Why would I?
- You know why.
This is pathetic, man. Your fixation on me.
Do you want your friends
to know how you got those bruises? Really?
I got jumped in a parking lot.
Where? Schenley Park?
Do you guys know about Schenley Park?
- Do your friends know...
- I don't know what kinda sick shit...
you're trying to pull,
but you better walk away right now.
Nothing.
Fine.
Say hi to your dad for me.
Whatever, faggot.
- What did you just call me?
- Just called you a faggot.
Say that shit again! Say that shit again!
It's Patrick!
Leave him alone!
Sam!
Stop! Leave him! Stop!
Stop!
Touch my friends again and I'll blind you.
Charlie?
Yeah?
Thanks for stopping 'em.
Sure, Brad.
How you doing, Charlie?
I don't know.
I keep trying, but I can't
really remember what I did.
Do you want me to tell you?
Yeah.
You saved my brother.
That's what you did.
So you're not scared of me?
No.
Can we be friends again?
Of course.
Come on.
Let's go be psychos together.
I'm dating Peter now.
He's in college with Craig.
He's opinionated. We have
intellectual debates.
You were very sweet
but our relationship was too one-sided.
I know this is hard for you.
I'm just glad that you're happy.
Okay.
Hey, Craig, Sam will be down. Soon.
We're gonna miss the movie.
Yeah, I'll go put some pep in her step.
Don't worry.
Hello?
Hey. Do you wanna get out of here?
Sure, Patrick.
I'll tell you something, Charlie...
I feel good. You know what I mean?
Maybe tomorrow I'll take you
to this karaoke place downtown.
And this club off the Strip.
They don't card.
And the Schenley Park scene.
You have to see the Fruit Loop
at least one time.
Oh, my God. My life is officially
an after-school special.
Son of a bitch!
It really is.
It so is.
So, you ever hear the
one about Lily Miller?
I don't know.
Really?
I thought your brother would have told you.
It's a classic.
Maybe.
Okay, Lily comes here
one night with this guy Parker.
And this was to be the night
that they were gonna lose their virginity.
So she did it really proper.
She packed a picnic.
Stole a bottle of wine.
Everything was perfect
and they're just about to "do it."
When they realize they forgot the condoms.
- So what do you think happened?
- I don't know.
They did it with one of the sandwich bags.
Oh, that's disgusting!
Yes, it is.
Come on! Let's keep the train rolling.
Suburban legend, Charlie.
Well...
There's this girl named Second Base Stace.
And, well, she had boobs in 4th grade.
Mosquito bites. Promising. Go.
And she let some of the guys feel them.
- That's your suburban legend?
- Yeah.
- Did you at least cop a feel?
- No.
No. Of course not. You went home...
listened to "Asleep," wrote a poem...
Fine. Okay. Your turn.
Yeah. I've got one.
Well...
there's this one guy.
Queer as a 3-dollar bill.
The guy's father doesn't
know about his son.
So he comes into the basement one night
when he's supposed to be out of town.
Catches his son with another boy.
So he starts beating him.
But not like the slap kind.
Like, the real kind.
And the boyfriend says,
"Stop. You're killing him."
But the son just yells, "Get out."
And eventually...
the boyfriend just did.
Why can't you save anybody?
I don't know.
Forget it.
I'm free now, right?
I could meet
the love of my life any second.
Things will be different
now and that's good.
I just need to meet a good guy.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's all right.
I've been spending a lot
of time with Patrick.
He begins every night really excited.
He always says he feels free
and tonight is his destiny.
But after a while he runs out of things
to keep himself numb.
And Sam got her letter from Penn State.
"We will require you to take
our summer session...
at the main campus immediately following
your high school graduation."
She got in, Charlie.
After that, all Patrick could talk about
was college and all their futures.
Alice did get into NYU film school.
Patrick is going to the
University of Washington...
because he wants to be
near the music in Seattle.
But he wasn't going to leave without
organizing the best senior prank ever.
Sam is going away right after graduation.
It all feels very exciting.
I just wish it were happening to me.
Especially because, ever since I
blacked out in the cafeteria...
it's been getting worse.
And I can't turn it off this time.
All right, guys, you wanna pass your
copies of Gatsby up to the front, please.
And I know it's the last day...
but if we could keep it to a dull roar,
I'd appreciate it.
Thank you.
Guy. Guys. Thank you for such a great year.
I had a blast. I hope you did, too.
And I hope you have
a great time this summer on your vacations.
Now who here is gonna read
for pleasure this summer?
Charlie.
Very good.
Have a good summer.
Last day.
Yeah.
So I know it's none of my business,
but have you decided?
Are you going to New York?
Well...
My wife and I like it here.
And I think I might be better
at teaching than writing.
You know, Charlie, I was thinking that...
maybe I could still give
you books next year.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think you could write
one of them one day.
- Really?
- I do.
You're the best teacher I've ever had.
Thank you.
Ten, nine, eight...
seven, six, five...
four, three, two, one.
Dear friend...
I wanted to tell you about us running.
There was this beautiful sunset.
And just a few hours
before, everyone I love...
had their last day of high school ever.
I was happy because they were happy...
even though I counted and I have...
I kept imagining
what school would be like without them...
as they were all getting ready
for their prom.
My sister finally decided
to break up with Derek...
and go stag with her girlfriends instead.
And then there was Sam.
I've looked at her picture
since that night.
I like to see how happy she was
before she knew.
They were in a hotel suite after prom
and the truth came out.
Basically Craig
has been cheating on Sam the whole time.
When I heard that...
I kept thinking about the happy girl
in these pictures.
'Cause she doesn't have 1,095 days to go.
She made it.
This is her time.
And no one should be
able to take that away.
Congratulations.
Oh, Charlie. Charlie's here.
Guys, group photo.
We should all take a group photo.
Get against the railing
and try to look suave.
Yep, this is the one.
That's gonna be a great angle.
At her going away party...
I wanted her to know about that night
we went through the tunnel.
And how for the first time...
I felt like I belonged somewhere.
And tomorrow,